Friday, November 25, 2011


Hey everyone. I know that it has been a long time since there was a TTTEC segment but here is one that came in recently. I sat on it for a while before putting it up to let things cool down and am sharing as a cautionary tale of sorts. Please share your thoughts on this situation as you deem fit.

It is amazing how people can mislead those who love them the hardest. (Caution, long post ahead.)


My name is Nancy and I met my husband Mutiu in Frankfurt, Germany. He chased me relentlessly and I could not help but fall for him. In due time we were married. My family opposed our relationship from the very beginning but I was in love and had to be his wife. My father warned that he would cut me off from my inheritance, but once he realized that all threats had no impact, he begrudgingly agreed to walk me down the aisle.

Four years into our marriage and we were yet to have children. His mother was very upset, even encouraging him to go to Nigeria and find a new wife. He fought with her all the time on the subject and for a while, refused to go see her. I begged him and soon, we went to visit. She shunned me publicly, barely acknowledging my existence. That was the last time I went to Nigeria.

After six years of marriage, Mutiu said he wanted to go build a house for us in Nigeria so we would be comfortable whenever we went to visit. I agreed, wholeheartedly. And because he did not make as much money as me, I willingly gave him the money needed to set things up over there. For almost four years, the construction hit one hiccup or another until finally, he informed me that it was completed.

We made plans to go celebrate our 10 wedding anniversary in Nigeria and were going to have a vow renewal ceremony. Sadly, my husband died in an accident in Nigeria. Distraught, I had to go and pay for the funeral arrangements. I could not bring his body back to Germany as his family insisted he be laid to rest in his village. Upon arriving, I asked to be taken to our home and was informed by Uncle Deji, who came to ask my parents for my hand in marriage, that there was a little problem and that I would stay at his house for a little bit. After 3 weeks, I insisted on seeing the house only to be informed that my house was inhabited by someone else. Turns out that while Mutiu was building the house, he met and had a child with some young girl! They had a son together and Mutiu placed her in my house. All that time I thought there were construction problems, the man I thought was my husband was living with another woman and had another life. Mutiu has a two year old son that is his carbon copy. I saw him from the car playing outside the house.

I just cannot believe what has happened to me. I dumped so much money into that project. I have always done anything to make him happy. To lose Mutiu and then learn that he had been unfaithful to me and defrauded me in more ways than one is unbelievable! I confronted his mother in tears and all she did was laugh at me and walk off. At the funeral, this woman, who bore his only child, was treated like his wife! I could not stay there with such disrespect and had to leave in tears.

And now, even though I have proof of all monies sent to build the house, I have learned from a Nigerian lawyer that I will likely not have any claim over the house as Mutiu gave all necessary documents to his whore! Of course, his mother and other members of the family have threatened me repeatedly that the house is theirs. She slipped up and informed me that I had no right to any of her son's properties, which prompted me to have lawyers search for others. Now, it turns out that Mutiu has two blocks of flats that are rented out, a shop, and another smaller house up the street from his mother's house. I cannot believe the deception! 10 years of marriage and I clearly did not know the man I shared a life with.

I do not know what to do. Sometimes I wish I could go burn down every single one of those buildings! My father is understandably ready to fly to Nigeria and fight but I am so exhausted. It has been one shock after another and I don't have anything left in me. Now everyone tells me that I should have known that Nigerians are like that but am I truly to blame for the situation? Should I not have loved my husband and trusted him?

- Deceived by Love in Germany

Sorry people, I know that was a long TTTEC post but as you can see, it was a little complicated and I didn't want to cut out most of what she sent in, though I had to edit much of it because it was longer. I swear this story sounds like a Nollywood film and could be, except for the fact that, well, I know this lady's best friend which is how I received the email in the first place. I sent her my legal opinion and clarified that I have no Nigerian experience, unfortunately. If there are any readers that are Nigerian-trained lawyers or have experience/information, please share. My God...I can't imagine...and I feel horrible, but I told her that the task ahead could be insurmountable...I had to be honest as this crap happens far too often in Naija.


Sunday, November 20, 2011


Yes, where have I been?

That is the question I am asking myself at this moment.

I have considered writing a blog post but the impulse has not been strong enough.

However, the receipt of TTTEC requests reminded me that I have not been to these here parts in a long time and that I need to check in on my 'computer friends'. So, how una dey?

I'm not going to lie and say that I have been reading your blogs. I have been far too busy for that. Sorry. Even Facebook hardly sees me. The company has resorted to spamming me with emails about one notification or another. *Reminder, change the email seetings on your FB account, pronto*

I have been on Twitter, but not often enough to truly count. Luckily for me, I get to gist with fellow blogger Sokari of from time to time, but apart from that, well, I no know.

What have you guys been up to?

It was sad to read about the ABSU rape. It was even sadder to see that so many people watched the brutal assault or listened to the audio. And sadder still to see how certain people made money from such a horrible situation. My condolences go out to the poor lady and her family, who must undoubtedly be struggling with the situation. Shame on the school, state and federal authorities for doing absolutely nothing until the foreign media and twitter got outraged. As I have said to friends and on certain blogs, the best thing for this woman would be safe and quick passage out of Nigeria, in my opinion.Let her get medical and psychological help. God have mercy and give her strength.

To the mothers of those boys, I can only say if you know your son committed the crime, give him up!!!

This summer was spent reading and gardening. My backyard was covered in watermelon, red corn (yes, you read right), yellow corn, tomatoes (which were great for stew!!!!), strawberries (which came under attack by some unknown creature but still kept my kids happy) and roses! Our carrots did not yield much but we are thankful for the little we got. My herb garden was off the chain!!!! Rosemary, thyme, spring onions, chives, basil, cilantro, parsley, mint, lavender .... My chicken stew was the biznisssss. So was everything else! Hahahaha. No really, I was so proud of myself. I have always strived for a serious summer herb garden but this was the first year that it went off without a hitch. The kids were old enough to help and not hinder the process is the main reason why. They tenderly watered plants and helped me prune. When our rose bushes came under attack by Japanese beetles and aphids, my children stood with me in the hot sun to kill them! Sorry for those who may be upset that I did not seek a more humane way of getting rid of them.
Japanese beetles (photo/Cindy Hadish)
All I know is that the best way to get rid of Japanese beetles, without killing your roses or other plants, is to drown them in a bucket of water. *sticks tongue out* In 2012, I plan to bottle my herbs, baby! Place your orders now! :p

Ah, did I mention that The King is now in kindergarten? I have to tell you guys about the wahala myself and the Godmothers went through to get him the perfect bag that he wanted for school. *sigh* Thank God he is excelling, his teacher loves him and his classmates like him as well.

Woah, this post is getting long, so it is obviously time to stop. For anyone who reads this, I appreciate your time. Please let me know how you are doing so I can swing by your blog and say hi properly. Thanks to all the bloggers who sent messages to check in on me and mine. I had to take a break. I lost family members, kids were getting older and there was just so much work to do. I have communicated with most of your personally and want to take the time to once again say thank you. I truly appreciate that any of you thought about me to reach out. May God bless you all and may everything you touch be a success. That prayer goes for everyone, whether you thought of me or not. =)

See you around!