Monday, August 30, 2010

PEEING IN THE PARK

Yes, my kids are at it as usual.

The other day we went to the park for a picnic. It was a warm day and so we found a nice tree to park ourselves under. We had our lunch and then the kids went off to run around and play. TE had her scooter, TK pushed his large dump truck and Bomboy drove around in his little red car.

During the picnic, I called my mom, Shine Shine, and we had a nice conversation. You know the typical convos with Naija moms, she fills you in on the latest gist while also engaged in conversations with other people around her, lol! The kids would come over and give my mom some story or the other and TK kept shouting "Ki lo se?" (Ki lon shie? or "What is wrong with you?" - It's the only Yoruba he knows and he does sound funny when he says it, haha).

Anyway, while talking to momsie I looked up from my comfortable position on the mat to see Bomboy standing outside his car. Him standing outside of his car was not an issue. Rather it was the strange site that accosted my eyes. Bomboy was standing with his penis exposed! For at least 5 seconds, I couldn't respond. I mean, the boy was standing on the main path in full view of anyone that would choose to look or walk by. Somehow, I managed a loud whisper and told him to put his penis back where it belonged. Once he tucked it back in, lol!, he came up to me and I had him do his business behind a nearby bush. Of course, Bomboy could not just pee into a bush discreetly. Absolutely not. Instead, he decided to direct his pee into the air and squeal, "Peepee Fountain!!!! Wee!!!!"

*sigh*

All this time, I was on the phone with Shine Shine who demanded that I provide a second-by-second description of everything that was going on. And can you believe what she did? When Bomboy finished with his peepee fountain festivities, I put her on speakerphone only to hear her saying the following to my youngest child,

"Ahhhh, omo mi atata! Ehh, good boy. Show her, sho gbo?" [1]

She then concluded by saying,  " Ehen, real Nigerian child!"

hahahaha!

I asked my mother why she would one, encourage him, and two, attribute his naughtiness to Nigerian-ness.

"Haba, don't you see how Nigerian men like to piss on the side of the road? Abeg, fi mi le jo!" [2]

I laughed so hard, ehn. Kai.

I swear, my mom is a bad influence. Funny, but a bad influence, nonetheless. She is always encouraging these kids in their naughtiness.

Oh, and why do my boys enjoy peeing in public so much? Even TK has had his share of peeing into the bushes. *smh*


[1] - Means "my child ... make sure you show [your mother]" and be naughty.
[2] - "Abeg, fi mi le jo" means "Leave me alone."

Friday, August 27, 2010

TTTEC: THE ADOPTION ISSUE

Happy Friday, Easier Crew. As you can tell from the title, the issue of adoption is up for conversation. Read on to learn about Lara's situation. She is primarily looking for support and will take all suggestions on how to go about dealing with this difficult situation.

Thanks.

*********************
My husband Timi and I have been married for 9 years. In those 9 years I have had 4 miscarriages and given birth to one stillborn child. For some reason, my body refuses to allow me to carry and bear children.

This has proven very difficult for Timi and I, but our faith has always gotten us through each trial. I know he desperately wants to have children, and we keep trying but, I do not think I can continue trying anymore. After the first 3 miscarriages, we discussed adoption. Timi was hesitant, but eventually coalesced to the idea. That was 6 years ago. After the last miscarriage earlier this year, our doctor encouraged us both to consider adoption.

During a conversation with his elder sister, Morayo, (who I have had a difficult relation with over the years), I made the mistake of mentioning that we might consider adopting a child. Morayo immediately became hostile asking why I could not just try to conceive again. I explained that I was tired of the disappointment and after a tense few minutes I informed her that I was not seeking her approval and that at the end of the day, the issue of adoption was one for Time and I to decide upon.

I thought things would end there, but instead, I later got a call from my mother in law. What i assumed would be a simple conversation in which we caught up with each other, soon became uncomfortable. Mama can be nosey, and I have learned over the years to not give her too much information. When I refused to share the information she was seeking, she soon began to warn me not to bring any random child into her family and that adoption was out of the question. In my frustration, I told her that she did not know what I was going through as she had 3 children of her own. Mama then started telling me to come home because she knows people that can 'help' me. I asked her what that meant and she told me to stop being stupid. I couldn't believe the way she spoke to me and the things that came out of her mouth. This woman is the President of her church's society in Abuja and is a respected pillar at her church.

When I approached Timi with the matter, he then started to backpedal on his previous commitment to adoption. He began to talk about the fact that as the oldest son, he needed to continue his family name and blah, blah, blah. I am just confused about how to go about things. I cannot go through another pregnancy that will end in a miscarriage. I just cannot. I also will not go visit a babalawo as that is against everything I believe in. Adoption is a good option but Timi and his family are being stubborn.

I cannot speak to anyone about my frustrations.
***********************

Have a good weekend, everyone.

Monday, August 23, 2010

WHEN A LITTLE BOY FARTS...

...And causes you to almost accuse a stranger of funking up the air, what do you do?

The other day I took the kids out to look for plant pots. I bought some palms not too long ago and they need some nice looking pots that will work with the overall decor I am going for. Yes, after almost 5 years of living in my home I am only now focused on decorating it to the hilt *smh*.

Anyway, at the store, we walked around and ended up in the kid's toys section. (Yes, welcome to America where you can buy almost everything you need in one store). Next thing I know, a strong and nasty stench wafted up to my tender nostrils. I sniffed twice, as if my mind was playing tricks on me. I then looked up and saw a nice looking young lady walk by my kids and I. For some reason, she seemed 'shifty' and I automatically knew, in my heart of hearts, that the very 'nice-looking lady' had 'tooted'. I mean, why else would she be looking jumpy at the very moment that an upsetting odor permeated the area. She likely did not look to see if there were others in the vicinity of her atom bombs and once she happened upon us (we were hunkered down looking through a sales basket full of discounted children's books), her embarrassment knew no bounds.

So, I stood up and commanded the kids to move away from the stinky fart. As we began to move, I immediately noticed that the smell was trailing us. I looked around for the 'nice-looking lady' but she was clearly long gone. I guess my mommy-instincts had been dulled by how fiercely I was searching for books because I quickly looked at my boys and realized that one of them HAD to be the culprit.

"TK, did you fart?" I whispered just loud enough for him to hear and to not embarrass myself any further in a store full of genteel looking grannys and other.

"Uhn, uhn! It wasn't me mommy. Bomboy did it!" he replied.

To which Bomboy's little body began to convulse in laughter. TE and TK started to giggle as well.

I looked at that boy, ehn, and I just didn't know what to do. Can you imagine? The boy's fart had smelt like something only a grown adult could produce. The boy is 3 for God's sake!!!!! Add to that, I now felt horrible for accusing that 'nice-looking lady' of letting a bad one rip. My goodness! Thank God the accusation had only been in my head, but I still felt and feel bad about it.

All I could manage was to muster the strength to ask my son,

"What do we say when we fart?"

"EXCOOSEE MEE"

My life...

Friday, August 20, 2010

TTTEC: UNWANTED PREGNANCY

Hey Easier Crew, long time no see. I had to take a little summer vacay from TTTEC just for my own sanity. =) Anyway, it's back and I have a couple issues for all of us to discuss. Please offer some constructive advice to this young lady. Thank you.

*******************
Chinwe, Ada and I have been best friends since secondary school. We now live in Austin, TX. Ada and I are flat mates while Chinwe lives walking distance away. We spend all our free time with each other. These girls are closer to me than my own blood sister.

Ada has been sleeping with Devon for about six months. Me, I have never liked the boy. He has no ambition and works as a janitor at a local office building. He has no plans of going to get a higher degree and insists that he is going to become a rich rapper. So, instead, he spends all his time in our apartment, eats our food and never picks up after himself. Chinwe's house has been my refuge over the last few months. I do not know what Ada sees in him, and I have expressed my concerns, but at the end of the day, I know it is her life to live so I have stayed as quiet as possible when it comes to that relationship.

Unfortunately, the problem we now face is that for some reason, Ada got pregnant. She was afraid to tell Devon because he told her he doesn't want anymore children. That was the first  time we heard that he had children. Nevertheless, we insisted that she phone him and tell him. It was a speakerphone conversation and the minute she managed to tell him, he began to curse at her and soon hung up. Ada was distraught and Chinwe and I went to speak to him at his job only to be cursed out as well in an embarrassing public scene.

This was one month ago and although Ada has refused to go to a hospital for a check up, we believe she is approaching two and a half months or so. Chinwe is against an abortion. I, on the otherhand, an all for it. I do not know why she should have that idiot's child. Besides, Ada cannot afford to become a single mother. First off, her family will kill her and probably disown her. She is still in school, only has a small job. There is no reason for her to waste her life over a mistake. Chinwe keeps on trying to make Ada feel guilty and quoting Bible passages that I have never ever heard her use before.

This whole situation is destroying our friendship. All over a stupid boy and a pregnancy. And now Chinwe has stopped speaking to me. She says I am trying to destroy Ada's life and Ada has gone to stay with her. Am I so evil to encourage an abortion? I cannot believe that after years of friendship, I am being made to feel bad because I do not share Chinwe's 'all of a sudden' self righteous beliefs.

Please help me out here. The pregnancy is unwanted. Ada is only 22, and the so-called father is a lazy bum with numerous other baby mamas. What is so wrong about getting an abortion?
*********************

Something tells me that this could get people heated, but I beg, please state your mind but let's try as hard as we can to remain civil.

Monday, August 16, 2010

WHY ARE BOYS SO NASTY?

Having two sons has been an experience. I have learned to recognize and respect the effect of testosterone and its role in my boy's development. Sometimes they get unnecessarily aggressive and they fight and play in a way my mini-me, The Enforcer (TE) never did. But, that's okay. As long as they always put the toilet bowl down (which they do, thank goodness), I'm fine.

One thing I am not fine with and that I am trying very hard not to adjust to is how nasty my boys can be. You see, The King (TK) and his little brother, Bomboy, share a bedroom. And, no matter how hard I try, I can never keep that room smelling nice. At least not for more than about 24-48 hours at a time. You walk in there and you are hit by a solid wall of stench. I don't know why and I definitely cannot explain the how. However, what I can say is that the resistance I face whenever I attempt to make their room smell nicer, is beyond fierce.

As I write, I wonder what it is that makes their room smell so stinky. Neither of them poop or pee in their room anymore. TK is 1000% pottytrained and Bomboy is 90% trained (he only sleeps in a diaper). So, where is the stinky, stench coming from?

I always try to change their bed sheets once every two weeks and you should hear the complaints! If I even enter the room, I get accosted with questions.

"What are you doing here?"
"Leave our room alone, mama!"
"Mommy!!!!! Not again!"

And all I'm trying to do is make the place smell nice oh! And, did I mention that these boys are 4 and 3 years of age?

The other day after being berated with the usual "Stop meddling in our room" comments, I realized that I needed to resort to manipulation to get things done. I promptly gave the boys some chores. I instructed them to go remove all their dirty clothes from their bathroom floor (yes, they enjoy flinging their clothes the *smh*) and place them in their hamper. Once they stepped out of their room, it was a race to change the sheets, open up the windows and fish out stinky underpants from under TK's bed.

When they walked charged back into the room, TK immediately noticed the changes I had made and immediately began to protest. I cut him off and informed him that the bed sheets are brand new. That got him curious. He walked over to his bed and took a look. He was fascinated by the fact he had dark brown sheets. If I may say so myself, they do have an air of sophistication, but I actually bought them because lighter colored sheets some how change color when they are on his bed, lol!). Bomboy loved his new sheets with the trucks, trains and other images on them. That one is a little easier to please, thank goodness!

Begrudgingly, TK acquiesced and soon got used to the sheets. But you know the next time I change their sheets I will have to do it when they are out with their dad right? Till then, I need to know, why are boys so nasty? And why does their nastiness start so early?

Love 'em though...

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

LITTLE GIRLS SINGING IN YORUBA

Wow, I grew up singing this song as a little kid in Lagos, Nigeria. Watch these two little munchkins sing it as well.

=)




Does anyone remember what this song is called? Thanks! Oh, and why am I singing
kpata alhaja, a o ma ri mo
lori waya, ategun ti gbe lo
kpata alhaja, ao ma ri mo...


and that's all I can remember. Gosh that song is so naughty especially since it is sung to the tune of a Christian song. It's all about an Alhaja's underwear hung outside to dry. Geez...

Also, please view our resident Easier Crew member, Kola's students singing in Yoruba. Can I say, that guy in the white baseball cap has got the 'Naija swag' down while singing =) The video is below in the comments section. Enjoy!!!!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

HOW TO GET REVENGE ON BOMBOY

Bomboy took my bottle of sparkling water and ran all over the place with it.

I told him to bring it back to me and he refused.

I didn't say anything.

Instead, I waited.

He eventually put the bottle down. Actually, he threw it down on the carpeted floor.

I picked the bottle, opened it, and let all the shaken contents fizz and spray all over him.


The guy was so shocked he practically somersaulted away.

Guess what?

He hasn't played with another of my sparkling water bottles again.

*naughty mommy grin*

Monday, August 2, 2010

SUMMERTIME

It's summertime and it's been hot, briefly cool and extremely busy. The kids are growing rapidly it seems. TE walks around with fancy sandals (a post on my fashionable diva is coming), a handbag full of stuff (she's only 6), and a mouth that runs at 1000 miles a minute. TK is the defender of the universe (gosh, I miss watching voltron after school as a child), gets math or English homework everyday (yes oh, no joke) and is becoming a man right before my eyes. Our local superstar,

Bomboy is still flirting with grown women. But at least now he is 80% potty trained and only wears diapers to bed (modupe fun Oluwa and may the congregation all say "amen", "amin" and a "hallelujah" for good measure). Bomboy continues to be mischievous, and the minute he sees me give him 'the look', he smiles and either says "I love you" or "you're up, mama" accompanied by the thumbs up gesture. I worry for the women that boy will come across because most of them will have no chance when it comes to that boy and his antics *sigh*

Did I mention that I don't sleep? Na wa oh! Lack of sleep makes you feel like you have a hangover during the day. I have too many things running through my head at all times.

This summer I have had the pleasure of befriending quite a few bloggers. Let's see, Rayo aka @janglelegjones whose twitter handle always makes me think of 'jangulovah' (abeg, what does that word mean, sef?) I finally met Sokari Ekine aka @blacklooks. Haha. Because every time we hung out the kids got treats, they have taken to scheming by asking "can we call aunty sokari?" whenever they want me to take then for ice cream or pizza. I have also had the pleasure of meeting standtall. The online name she picked for herself fits her tremendously. Excellent sista and very smart. Standtall for president! Lol! There's also @saratu who rocks! We have hung out twice and she's another super intelligent babe that cracks me up. Her text messages are absolute gems such as when she was complaining that the end of world cup meant the end of her ability to watch fine, sweaty men all day. Lol! Funny yet smart and an incredible writer to boot. I also got to meet a non-blogger who is on twitter. @ikedot is funny, sarcastic and a cool dude who can say the funniest thing without even intending it. Oh and I met the very smart, and dare I say, cutie pie,  Seye earlier in May. Woh, Seye, I know babes are chasing you but I have plans to bring you into my family oh! Heehee!

Oooh, and I have a brand spanking new nephew that is just the greatest little baby. He lives in North Carolina but talks to me on the phone. =) I think I'll put a picture of him up soon.

Anyway, people, I just wanted to check in because I keep getting emails and messages from computer friends wanting to know how things are going. Make una no vex about the infrequent updates. And thanks to everyone for checking up on me and mine. Much appreciated, folks. And, as I type TK is chasing TE with Bomboy screaming in pursuit. Time to pop a pain killer for the headache that is on it's way.

Oh boy!

=)


Blog I discovered - www.lyricsbytia.blogspot.com, and drajao.blogspot.com. Dr. Ajao is a serious photographer, one of the best around.

Sent from my iPod Touch