So last year was the most difficult year I had as a blogger. I was pooped. It really started with the Free Elendu campaign the year before. That project, while extremely worthwhile, left me fatigued afterward.
It got me thinking about whether or not I wanted to keep blogging. I saw fellow bloggers bow out and wondered whether it was time for me to do the same. I would go to some of my favorite haunts only to find that the blog had significant dust and cobwebs. That thrill I had while waiting for the page to load, evaporated immediately. It was a disappointing feeling and going through it over and over again was exhausting.
And so, I struggled for a year and finally decided to shut down this blog. Yes, I did. The books I am writing have been suffering from all my other activities - writing, freelancing, antiquing etc. Blogging just wasn't fun anymore. Nigerian Curiosity needed more attention and my rankings seemed to be slipping.
And here I am confessing that I almost called it quits. So, when I see other bloggers decide to leave the community, I feel a tinge of envy, not sadness, quite frankly. While I know I could technically shut up shop, I just feel...obligated to keep going. I'm not sure if anyone knows what I mean, but I feel that I would disappoint others the way I have been disappointed when a blogger I read leaves the 'ville. I don't want to do that to anyone. I feel I would disappoint myself in the long run as well. Yet, I realize that this cannot go on forever.
Blogging has been one of the most exciting things I have done in my life, oddly enough. I have discovered the strength of my non-legal writing, I have met (online and offline) some of the most interesting people. And, believe it or not, all the hours of writing has landed me some very exciting opportunities that continue to unfold wonderfully. I look at things now and remember last year when I had a few disappointments with a couple projects and at the time, I spoke to friends and family about them. The resounding suggestion was "Breathe, say a prayer and let Him guide you through it." I followed instructions and well, I am laughing heartily and thankful that those so-called opportunities fell to the wayside. I am especially happy that I took Husband's reminder that my experiences, my skills, my intellectual capacity should never be underestimated and that it will get me through everything. During those days of confusion, his encouragement was crucial. And, he was right.
Ah, blogging. Its like my 6 mile run when I think about it. The first mile is wonderful. So is the second mile. But the third mile gets a little taxing and I look up and pray to get through (yup, believe it or not, I do a lot of praying when running. I must look crazy at the gym!). Once I get to the fourth mile, I know I can make it through and it then simply becomes a matter of pacing myself because most times a 6 mile run turns into a 7 mile run and I feel great in the end.
Although my first blog posts were published late 2006, last year, 2009, was my 3rd year as a blogger. I don't celebrate each year, just like I do not celebrate each mile I run. And, just like running, it was the toughest mile to get through. But now, so early in the 4th year (or mile), I feel the exhilaration coming back. I see the rewards of hours of writing, SEO strategies, networking and just keeping up with my computer friends paying off in a way I never imagined, didn't anticipate and am still shocked by.
Well, I am thankful for this and other blessings. And, I am thankful to every single person who took the time to read a post, respond to a post (good or bad), react to a post on their blog, or just send me a note of kindness and encouragement. THANK YOU! Because of you, and the Big Guy upstairs of course (can't forget to give God a shoutout), I'm still here and still open to more opportunities to become better at what I do and open doors for others as well. Since I'm giving shoutouts, I must thank the people in my life Husband,
Shine Shine (aka my mommy), Dee, Dr. U., Aunty Maridoggie, Moose, Young Man John, Osize O. (whose early advice was priceless and has paid incredible dividends, may God bless everything you touch),
Sokari Ekine (who has become a friend, a kindred spirit, full of advice and just pure wisdom) and everyone else that just cannot be mentioned right now because I am beginning to sound like a rapper refusing to get off the stage until all the shoutouts to all the "dawgs" and "homies" are done.
My hope is that we will all manage to transform whatever it is we enjoy doing into an opportunity that is fulfilling. Now, will I be here for another mile or two or three? Well, who knows. All I know is I'm glad I haven't called it quits.