In today's installment, a young lady, let's call her Theresa, is seeking advice on how to deal with one of her brothers.
Please share your thoughts and ideas. Thanks so much.
I have two siblings - Ken, who is older than me by 6 years, and Peter who is younger than me by 2 years. Our father was originally married to Ken's mother who died when he was 4. A few years later, daddy married my mom and soon gave birth to Peter and I.
For as long as I can remember, Ken has hated Peter and I. We were never allowed to be alone with him. In fact, a housegirl was always around. Ken would always cause trouble. He would break plates for no reason. Hide my mother's shoes and even take my favorite toys and throw them in the gutter outside our house.
When Peter was only about 4 in age, Ken, who was 12 or 13 at the time, beat Peter into a bleeding pulp leaving our baby brother with a broken arm. I was out with mommy at the time and I can remember how scared she was when she returned and saw Peter in a mess. I can also remember how nervous I was after that. For weeks, Peter would sleep in my bed and not leave my side. Once the holidays were over, Ken was sent to boarding school. That brought some relative calm to the house but only until he returned on holidays.
So, for years, there has been animosity in my family. But particularly between Ken and Peter. I do not know why he hates Peter so much. The tension is always bad during Christmas when everyone comes home and we go to the village for at least a week. This last Christmas, Ken threatened everyone with a cutlass. Granted he was brandishing the thing in the yard and shouting while the rest of us stayed in the house, but it was horrible. And you know that the whole village gathered to see why the first son of the family was behaving like that.
And than 2 weeks ago, I planned a surprise party for my boyfriend at his friend's house. As can be expected, my boyfriend, Akpan, and Ken do not get along. Knowing that, I didn't invite Ken. Somehow, Ken showed up and caused a big scene. He started drinking, got loud and got into a fight with Akpan's best friend. It was so embarrassing. During his drunken rage, he was screaming at me as I tried to calm him down. He called me all sorts of nasty names. He then started shouting about how Peter is the golden child of the family and wants to take his birthright. Again, more embarrassing dramatics. Ken forgets that he dropped out of school while Peter finished college and is now getting experience in a bank before going to business school.
This whole matter is rather stressful and I have had enough. I'm not sure exactly what to do, but I know I have to do something. I am tired of Ken always being a nuisance. I am tired of being hated for unknown reasons. I am tired of always being stressed out whenever Ken is around or might show up. Please, give me some advice.