Wednesday, July 28, 2010

AN ODE TO G

Ah, G! How I miss you so!

I remember those days when we used to play every afternoon after school. I would run home, so excited at the opportunity to play with my bestest friend.

But, then my world came crashing down, that day I returned from school and you were nowhere to be found.

I ran through the compound calling your name, to no avail.

Then I entered the house and walked into the kitchen, where my granny and others were gathered.

"Where's G?" I asked. "I can't find him anywhere. Do you know where he is, Mama?"

Mama slowly looked up from her seat by a large frying pan full of frying pieces of flesh. She smiled sadly but didn't respond and proceeded to use a large metallic spoon to stir the contents of the frying pan.

My cousin, however, opted to give me the answer I sought but could never have imagined.

She opened a blue cooler, before then, unnoticed. Within it were succulent pieces of meat and into it, she reached, soon to brandish what could only be...

Crunch was the sound made as her teeth sunk into the crispy meat. She licked her lips slowly. The smile that followed was very different  from the empathetic smile Mama had offered only seconds before.

She was eating G! My G! The goat I had spent weeks feeding, cleaning and running around with. My friend. My confidante. G was in tiny fried pieces.Within a cooler. Being prepared for my recently departed grandfather's upcoming funeral.

Oh, G! It's been years since that day when I saw you in the morning and promised to take you for a walk around the compound in the evening. I am so sorry I wasn't there to save you. I never ate you and frankly, never put a piece of your brethren in my mouth for years. That was until my Jamaican friends introduced me to Curry Goat.

Nevertheless, this is an ode to Goatey, my friend that left far too soon.

I still miss you.

33 Easier Comments. Add Yours!:

iphyigbogurl said...

loooooll....
oh lawd...SS...u no go kill pesin oh..so na goat wey you dey write ode for?

ndo oh.... lool

olaoluwatomi said...

I was almost fooled! Thought G was a human being!:))
G wont be happy that you are eating his relations:)

YankeeNaija said...

lmao. I won't say I was on the verge of tears but I felt a tug in my heart, till you revealed it was a goat. you are too hilarious. lol

Dee! said...

An ode to G a goat! OMG!
SSD you wan wound me with laugh! Whao!
So how did Curry Goat taste? Let me guess, delicious!

downtheaisle said...

Goat!Goat!!!Goat!!!!!!!!!!!

but u ate his meat frm d blue cooler????

doll said...

to your goat.>??? LWKMD

Rita said...

OMG...see the way u made my heart skip beats...I was almost in tears...lol. So were a goat-vegetarian until curry goat?

SHE said...

*sober look*

I'm sure G would not want you to live in abstinence for the rest of your life. (S)he will be smiling at you from wherever (s)he is now...

Ms.O said...

...and you finally lost it!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

isha said...

See me see wahala o...

Eku remembrance of Grandpa o. Hope you're doing well.

Lara said...

Eku iranti, was already feeling sad...but this made my day.

Miss Natural said...

lol i felt so sad, in fact for a minute up till when you said your cousin opened the cooler and brought out the meat I thought G was a person. lol you can imagine my horror at the next thought. Only to find out it was a goat!! lol...hehe. I was thinking how sweet of Mrs Sydelle, imagine after all these years she still remembers her dear friend G lol.

CaramelD said...

*Speechless*

kay9 said...

i think i'm gonna write an ode to my monkey, too. "An Ode to M".

Evee said...

Are we talking about a goat here? For real?

Young Grumbler said...

Bwahahaha, ode to goat o! Aww pele, and you really tried not eating any part of G tho
You should have fully ex-d his relatives too :-)

bArOquE said...

LMFAO...you aaaaalmost had me there, at the time i thought this was definitely going to be a scary story, i saw it...

SSD, you try

so it was Jamaican Curry Goat that brought you back to life eh, just like their Jerk Chicken...goat meat sha, fantastic, esp when fried *wink*

Poor G!...RIP

shorty said...

LMAO!!!! you really got me i thought G was a human being.

Myne Whitman said...

This is the reason some are vegetarians, lol...I raise my glass to G!

A Suburban Voter said...

brilliant post! thought G was another child, your childhood friend. Was getting really sad, till the last line. Brilliant!! :-)

tia said...

lol! What a great story!

neefemi said...

lmao...no comment

flourishingflorida.net said...

u no serious o. lol

2cute4u said...

Kai.. You're unbelievable!

Dee said...

Jesus! I'm rolling on the floor!!!
LMAO. I actually remember this thing

IT IS NOT FICTION PEOPLE. SERIOUSLY!!!

I SAW HER KISS THE THING ONCE...YESSSSSSS KISS IT. Slimmmmmy nose and all.

Kai, my memory is good.

But yes. This is VERY VERY TRUE

Dee said...

To actually think a Goat was my competition! Hahahahahahaha

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

@ Dee: hahaha. You traitor! You outed me! You had the title of best friend, can't goatey have the title of bestest friend? After all, goatey and I didn't have a secret writing code. haba!!!

=)

ZeL said...

LMAO! U had me fooled...U wrote this with so much passion...all 4 a goat! Lol

Dee said...

@ Solo: Out you ke? This is the most I've laughed in a long long time. Almost 20 years now. Kai! Good times.

Now all I can think about is Goat meat pepper soup!

journeytoprint said...

Lol. Auntie wow. Pele *giggle* I can't believe this... lol

ibiluv said...

so at one tyme goat na ya bff?

RE Ausetkmt said...

oh my so yuh love wi curry goat. how bout trying Cabrito - Mexican BBQ'd Goat. it's mouthwatering.

justdoyin said...

oh, curry goat! yummy! lol...

For a minute when I saw the post title, I assumed it was to God, and then to a friend, ok maybe a dog...but a goat? lol...u had be fooled SSD.