Monday, February 15, 2010

HOOKING MY MOM UP...

Okay, my Computer friends and fam, this is going to be interesting.

As you can see from the title, I want to hook my mother up with someone. Now, my mom has been single for a while but she's the kind of babe that is always out having a good time. I have been threatening to find her a boytoy for a while. At first, she used to blush and dismiss it, but I think she is now considering the idea, lol!

I love my mom. She drives me nuts sometimes, but I love her and I know she needs companionship. My mother is one of those ladies you see on the wedding circuit in Naija. Gele/headtie reaching the ceiling, wearing aso ebi for all her friend's daughters/son's weddings. Bag...check. Shoes...check. Party here, party there. Serious peperempe. And, I don't mind. You see, I believe that when you have raised your children and others children as well (as is the case in most Nigerian families where everybody raises everybody's child), you deserve to enjoy retirement. So, I say, party it up mommy, but stay safe.

Anyway, I met someone I think would be good for my mommy. My family and I call him Farmer J and he owns a large farm right next door to my community. I have been stalking his farm for sometime now, trying to get an aloe vera plant. When I finally met him, I was with the boys and he took them and taught them how to feed his cows. He has quite a bit of them. The boys had so much fun, that Bomboy took to picking up huge balls of cow poop and chasing me with the stuff. *shuddering, remembering the experience*

So, yeah, the kids like him. I like him. Even my hubby likes him. And did I say Farmer J is very nice? I have seen him a few times and spoken to him on the phone quite often. He wants the kids to come by and name a baby calf that was just delivered on his farm. I think he would be good for my mom. A man who enjoys putting his hand in the dirt and being in touch with nature. Hahaha. I'm laughing so hard right now, because my mother's nickname is "Shine, Shine" if that gives you some clues, lol! My mom can't get over the fact we go camping, lol!!!!!

Farmer J's very down to earth and extremely kind and well, yeah, I think they would be a good match. Even though he runs a farm, he's an artist (has a very cool little studio that TE loves), teaches sculpture and photography at the neighborhood university and is involved in the community. Did I mention that my mother was an actress way back in the day? So, she has her artsy/creative side as well.

Now, how to hook them up? My mom is in Nigeria. She lost her passport and now needs to get a new one, plus a US visa. And, we all know that in the post-Abdulmutallab world, visas have become even harder to get. I'm hoping that given her age and extensive travel history, it won't be a problem for her. Geez, this will be the first time I have tried to hook my mommy up with anybody. There was a guy who liked her a while ago and she refused his advances because he was younger. I scoffed at her and told her to reconsider, but you know Naija babes, "How can a small boy be chasing me like this..." lol!

Ah, this post is getting far too long. I am going to get my mom in the US as soon as I can and when I do, I will introduce her to Farmer J. This is bound to be interesting....

I'll let you guys know, okay?

PS: Um, if you read this blog, happen to know who I am and happen to know who my mama is, YOU BETTER NOT TELL HER OF MY HOOKUP PLANS OH! It has to be a surprise hehehehe... And, if anybody has a responsible and charming older gentleman that they think would make a good date for my mother, I am accepting applications. Yes, oh, she too should play the field, go out on dates with other guys until she figures out which could be her boytoy, hahahaha

44 comments:

Blowing Blessings Your Way said...

lmbo!!!! This is too funny!! Good luck...can't wait to hear the gist!!! Can Mr. Farmer handle Ms. Shine, Shine????? lol

Blowing Blessings Your Way said...

OH WAIT!!!....I'M FIRST (AND SECOND) YAY!!!

Remi, United Kingdom said...

Very fuuny! I await to see how this turns out - for real. Farmer man reads a very nice man. Have a great week. X

Marin said...

Ha ha ha. Mmm,just picturing Farmer J at an owambe with Ms Shine Shine. Keep us updated.lol

Funms-the rebirth said...

awwww......cute and so funny.....
cant wait to read how it all unfolds....get mama to the USA asap! before Farmer J gets snatched o...

have a great week

Dee! said...

SSD the matchmaker. I feel you on this! lol!

Please keep us posted as your plan unfolds.

2cute4u said...

Lol.. hillarious post! I sure as hell don't wanna know who's boning my mama.. I'm sure I'd faint that day.. You get time, lol..
P.s.. where in your hmtl did you place your adbrite ad code?thanks..
www.askchacha4free.blogspot.com
again.. I need your advice on a post "help" as im to close to be objective in rendering advice.. thanks..

CaramelD said...

OK so now we are praying for your Mum to get her visa!!

LusciousRon said...

Good luck with this plan! I like your Mum. I can't wait to read the gist when the sparks are flying they couldn't be more different!

AlooFar said...

lol@ boytoy.

good lawd, i'm dialing her number now. beg me ;)

neefemi said...

awwwwww thats so sweet...i wish my mum would listen to me when i try to do the same....hopefully she makes it

shorty said...

Lmao,this is one funny post,hope Ms Shine Shine gets to like Farmer J o!

Favoured Girl said...

LOL, SSD are you serious? This is too cute and funny! Farmer J sounds like a nice man, hope your mum meets him and they click! I'm keeping my fingers crossed, so keep us updated!

MPB said...

Awesome! Cant wait for updates.

Myne Whitman said...

LWKMD. Fingers crossed for your mum and farmer J.

leggy said...

this was so funny.lmao

The Girl with the Red Hair said...

Hope mrs or is it miss shine shine likes mr farmer.

The Girl with the Red Hair said...

Hope mrs or is it miss shine shine likes mr farmer.

Ms.O said...

Aww how cute! Goodluck!

LucidLilith said...

lmao!
I cant wait to see how this turns out.
Plus...will she be willing to become a farm wife?
I tried that in North Dakota.
Loooong story.

Sting said...

Niceeeee....... u didn't give us an age range o, in case we might have someone for ur hot maama. Anyway, let us know how it goes.

Stanis said...

am just dying of laughter here! nice writeup!

NoLimit said...

LOL!!!Only you o!
Can't wait to read up on the out come of this scheme of yours!!!
PS
Well...you will have to bribe me not to tell ur mum!!!

RE Ausetkmt said...

oh how sweet you are my sister. your mom will be enjoying her time getting to know her selections.

remember you need to find several candidates. Naija chicas like a good choice as you well know we are all fussy and want what we want, when we want it.

you better find some glamorous boots for mom before she gets to see the cow poop, or farmer j may be carrying her on her tour of the farm.

hmmmm on second thought,, maybe no boots.. ahhhhhhh,oooooooo yessss !

jhazmyn said...

LOL at the warning below...Farmer J does sound like a catch i must say (wink), but really, imagining ur mum all giggly with butterflies in her tummy just set me rolling wit laffter right now...i think its soooo cute

blogoratti said...

Lucky mom...

Harry-Rami Itie said...

OMG!!! You must lemme know how this ends up...

Awa Music Map said...

I WILL TELL HA OOOHHH!!! Hehehe what will you give me for my silence!?!?

histreasure said...

OMG!!this is soooo funny..lmao..
now, scheming scheming you, will be gr8 to watch this unfold

Afronuts said...

Lmao!

This is just too funny me to comprehend...kids trying to hook up their mum.
Last time I saw such was in movies. The way u just mentioned it sounded like it came out of a slapstick romantic comedy...

lol@"How can a small boy be chasing me like this..."

And you called ur Mom a babe...nice.

SHE said...

Ok...
All the best in your matchmaking endeavors.

Farmer J sounds nice indeed. I wonder, if your Mum is not interested, perhaps er.... *wink wink*...?

doll said...

4 real? pls keep us posted

joicee said...

ooooh love it..farmer J seems like a really interesting guy.... Keep us posted.

Enkay said...

This should be interesting!

I will definitely keep my ears close to the ground for the updates! lol!

goodnaijagirl said...

This is such a cute entry...what a good daughter you are! I hope she's able to find herself back in the US soon.

Do keep us updated because I'd love to hear how this goes. Does Farmer J have a younger clone for me? :)

Fragilelooks said...

gudluck wit dis hukup. hope ur mum wil like him. lol

Okey.Chukbyke C. said...

Lucky Farmer J.

AlooFar said...

Phone prompter:

"The number you're trying to call is currently busy"

:)

justdoyin said...

hmmm...the farmer and the bubbly "shine shine" lady...can't wait to c how ds romance blossoms...we shall be waiting 4 d hook-up gists...

I can imagine TK/BB chasing u around with cow dung...hehehe hahaha...

Azazel said...

Lol two is better than one lol

Miss Natural said...

hmm if mama saw this lol, there's no telling what she'll say hahah. I think its a good idea nd hope it works!!! keep us updated

Issey, Alice, Uche said...

abeg hook mummy up jo...she deserves some shine shine bobo....

Issey, Alice, Uche said...

hook mummy up jo...she deserves one shone shine bobo..abi?
lmao

x-Omotade-x said...

Lol good luck.