Friday, October 30, 2009

TTTEC: A JEALOUS BOYFRIEND

Hey everyone. I hope you are getting ready for the weekend. This latest installment is from a young lady who could do with some sound advice. I hope you can give it to her.

Stay well!

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I met my current boyfriend 2 and a half years ago while we were in school. All was fine while in school although he cheated on me a lot. He comes from a very good family and his father is a politician, but he is also very jealous. Anytime a guy calls me, my boyfriend makes sure I get a new sim card immediately. I overlooked all this.

Whenever I go to visit him, he doesn't take me anywhere and he says a woman should stay at home. When I complain that this is not what my parents believe, he says that this is how he was raised. He says I know I am a beautiful girl and that men will be after me, so he cannot trust me. He complains that I am not close to his mom, but I am do not believe in forcing people to like me. Also, he is from Benin and I am Yoruba. My father does not like Benin people.

My major problem is that even if he doesn't want me to go out, he should at least take me out, just the two of us. He should not just spend all his time with his friends. To make matters worse, I have lost all my friends because of him. I am tired and want to leave, but I am scared of being alone and wonder if it would be worth it.

I need your advise and don't know why he is doesn't take me out. I am pretty, fair in complexion, a little bit on the plump size, of average height but it is my color that makes people turn. Is it because I added weight recently that he doesn't take me out or is he just a bit insecure?
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Monday, October 26, 2009

STRIPPER SHOES SIGHTING

At my gym...

No, not on me silly! My stripper shoes are safely in my closet. Besides, I find sneakers to be better suited for my workouts.

Anyway, I was on the treadmill listening to my battle music (all Nigerian by the way), when next thing, the guy on the treadmill next to mine stumbled. Then, the guy on the bike in front of me lost his footing while another on the elliptical almost fell off completely, I took off my headphones only to realize the cause of the commotion. There was a beautiful super-toned lady was prancing across the gym in a very short pair of poom-poom shorts, a bra top and stripper shoes. Yes, stripper shoes. You know the those see-through lucite heels that seem to elongate the wearer's legs?
Tip Jar Platform Stripper Shoes - photo
As I got back to focusing on my run, after a good chuckle at Mr. Stripper Shoes victims, I couldn't help but wonder why she was walking around in lucite heels. As she entered one of the many workout studios, I wondered if she was a stripper, there to work with a trainer. Or, was she simply prepping for some kind of sexy performance? Either way, I figured I should try to watch, after all I could learn something.

Unfortunately, Ms. Stripper Shoes had nothing to teach that I wanted to learn. She was simply preparing for a body building competition. She walked around in front of mirrors, flexing her muscles, smiling and posing. I deperately wanted to take a picture of her because she had zero body fat, but, I didn't want to be rude. I was quite disappointed though. I thought my fellow gym rats and I were going to get a show, but as you now know, my stripper show sighting turned out to be a dud. Nevertheless, seeing men lose their senses over some lady trying to do her thing was quite entertaining.

Anyway, congrats to Nigeria's Super Eaglets who scored 3 goals in 7 minutes in their opening match against Germany in the FIFA U-17 tournament being held in Nigeria. Way to go boys, your determination inspired many of us and I wish you guys the best!

PS: Saturday is TK's birthday! No party for my baby this year, at least not a traditional one. We are taking him to Chuck E Cheese to have fun. My bday is the next day and although I turned down an offer from two of my closest friends to go to either Vegas or Miami for free (love my girls), I will spend my day relaxing and feeling loved. Okay, have a great week Easier family and see you on Friday for another TTTEC installation.

PPS: @ Mogaji: I saw your suggestion that I share follow ups on TTTEC issues. Blogger Nogo suggested the same this earlier this year and I have reached out to some of the people, seeking permisison to share their follows ups, many of which I know. Will try and set something up so I can present the follow ups in a timely fashion. Probably in December sometime, actually. Thank you for the suggestion, it reminded me to contact some more people. And, for those of you have shared your stories for TTTEC, please let me know if it is okay to share your follow-up stories. Thanks, everyone!

Friday, October 23, 2009

TTTEC: HUBBY'S BFF

Today's installment is one that many people have experienced in one form or another. But, even if you haven't, please feel free to share your advice or suggestions.

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Dele and I have known each other for 5 years and have been married for 18 months. His best friend, Charles, has been a source of problems for me from the beginning. He is loud, obnoxious and crass. And, he is one of those bachelors that believes women are no more than sexual objects. In all my time knowing him, I have never seen him with the same girl twice. He has even asked my husband why he would sell his "soul to the devil" in my presence.

I have managed to make my peace with the fact that Charles is in our life. I stay out of his way and mind my business when it comes to him. But, he always finds a way to bother me. Still, I continue to pray for patience when dealing with his childish ways. However, I just learned that he has been sharing his sexual exploits with my husband and the way I discovered this was not pleasant.

One night, my husband and I were about to get it on and he asked me to do something I have never done before. I said no and he started grumbling. Mind you we have never done this thing before, nor had we even talked about it, so I didn't understand why he was so upset. Before long, his grumbling turned into a full blown argument and we didn't talk for over a week. When we finally spoke about the matter, he complained that Charles has this thing done to him all the time by these various girls of his, and why shouldn't his wife cooperate.

Now that I know where this request stemmed from, I am doubly determined not to give in. I just can't imagine doing anything that was suggested or recommended by Charles. I know it is mean spirited but I just can't help it. I need to find a way to get Charles and my husband to stop discussing sex. I don't want that man knowing anything about what I do or do not do in the bedroom. What can I do? Please help. I want to make my husband happy but, Charles is making me miserable and I can't stand him.
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Monday, October 19, 2009

NIGERIAN WIVES, WEIGHT, HUSBANDS & FAITHFULNESS

DISCLAIMER: Yes, I am a mother of 3. Some of you know that I am also a runner. Others of you who know me personally (yeah, the very small handful, lol!) know that I take my health as seriously as I can and as such, I try to make time to eat right and exercise. Okay, just wanted to get that disclaimer out of the way before I launch into a serious discussion that could become heated.

I just visited a site that had only one post and while I respect the author's opinion, I must confess, I was a tad ticked off. You see, this gentleman, he calls himself Nigerian Married Guy, asked a very simple question -

"Why do our Nigerian women feel its okay after pregnancy to just let go?"

He then went on to explain
,

"
Its not healthy, it’s not sexy! We, us, men are already battling with the F word (not the curse word) the other F(faithful)and the last thing we need is a wife at home that makes your mind even wonder anymore that it already is because she is not holding up to her side of the bargain.

This is not exclusive to just Nigerian women (fairness, fairness). But it seems to be especially unchecked amongst them. I have never seen a hot fat person and as far as I am concerned, that phrase right there should be motivation enough for anyone."

I cannot fault this man for being honest. I have to acknowledge and respect his opinion. Thankfully, I do not have to agree. I find it hard to accept that in a marriage, one's weight is on an equal plane as one's faithfulness to their spouse. In fact, I find it offensive that some believe that a wife's weight (and especially a wife that has had children) is a deal breaker that grants a man the right to cheat.

Yes, there are some women who let themselves go, but that is not what I am focusing on, I am focusing on the mentality that assumes it is fine to be unfaithful because a woman does not look the way she did when she got married. In my humble opinion, marriage is more than looks, and even faithfulness. It is about respect, and a commitment to come together and build something larger than either would have accomplished alone. At no point in the traditional marriage vows is there a clause for looks and appearances. But, I guess everyone sees things differently, and an overweight wife is not only not "holding up to her side of the bargain" but giving her husband reason to find a hotter, newer, (and sometimes, younger) model.

A spouse's weight is not a reason for cheating. Cheating boils down to a lack of control, combined with additional factors, such as a lack of communication and other problems in a relationship. These factors contribute to unfaithfulness. Women deal with enough issues, we carry the world on our shoulders already, let's not blame them for another problem, please.

Now, that being said, I must repeat, I cannot fault this man for being honest. His sentiment, unfortunately, reflects certain realities that no matter how disappointing are true. After I had my first child, I remember a cousin of mine, whose wife had just had a baby, saying to me, "Ah, adupe*, please don't be like all these Nigerian women that just let themselves go oh!" At the time, I rolled my eyes at him and then unleashed a lovely torrent about men and beer guts. lol! It was a bouyant discussion that brought many cousins into the mix. Anyway, I believe that women should take care of themselves and be healthy before and after pregnancy. That, however, does not mean a woman must be a certain size and I detest all pressures placed on women to look a certain size. So to all the ladies out there doing their best to stay in shape, be healthy and look fantabulous, more grease to your elbows.

But really, should the way a woman looks after pregnancy be the grounds upon which her husband can cheat? God, I hope not. At the very least, I hope Nigerian Married Guy's wife (assuming he is indeed married) knows that she better keep it together because if not...

PS: Nigerian Married Man, there is no beef. I am simply using your post to discuss an attitude shared by a large array of men and women. Please do not take this personal, but if you want to, no yawa.

* - Adupe is a Yoruba word for 'Thank goodness'.

Friday, October 9, 2009

NIGERIA'S CHAT LANGUAGE DICTIONARY

Want to be an expert at chatting online or on your phone using Nigerian lingo? Well, look no further....

Enjoy this hilarious collection of the necessities for Naija chatting!
 http://blog.geesee.com/wp-content/images/chatLingo.png

1. LWKM - Laugh wan kill me

2. LWKMD - Laugh wan kill me die

3. MIDG - make i dey go

4. WGYL - we go yarn later

5. IGA - I gbadun am

6. ICS - I can't shout

7. DJM - Don't jealous me

8. WBDM - Who born d maga

9. UDC - U de craze

10. NUS - Na u sabi

11. WSU - who send u

12. OSABZ - over sabi

13. ITK - I too know

14. WDH - wetin dey happen

15. NDH - nutin dey happen

16. FMJ - free me jo

17. BBP - bad bele people

18. HUD - how u dey

19. WKP - waka pass

20. BBG - baby girl

21. KKL - Kokolette

22. MML - mamalette

23 GFF- Gbono fe le fe le (e.g., she GFF)

24. NTT - Na true talk

25. IKU - It koncain u?

26. NDM - no dull me

27. LGT - let's goo there

28. IFSA - I for slap am

29. IGDO - I go die o

30. YB - Yess boss

31. NLT - No long thing

32. 2GB - 2 gbaski (e.g., the song 2GB!)

33. CWJ - carry waka jorh

34. WBYO - wetin be your own

35. U2D - U 2 do

36. U2DV - U 2 dey vex

37. MKG - maka gini?

38. WSDP - who send dem papa

39. INS - i no send

40. INFS - i no fit shout

41. WWY - who wan yarn

42. NBST - no be small thing

43. NWO - na wah oooooo

44. NMA - no mind am

45. MIHW - make i hear word

46. NBL - no be lie

47. NB? - na beans?

48  WD - wetin dey

49. UNGKM - u no go kill me

50. O2S - omo


Oya, who can write a complete sentence with nothing but terms from the list above? That is the challenge!

And, don't forget to check out this new video from Omolara - "Be Like Yours" You are bound to like this smooth song.

Thanks to Dr. U

Monday, October 5, 2009

WHAT ARE THESE CHILDREN WEARING NOWADAYS?

It is very important to Husband and I that our children remain kids for as long as possible. Nowadays, children grow up very quickly and get mature quite early, so we try not to take any actions that will force our kids eyes to 'open', if you know what I mean.

So, it came as a rude awakening when I was in a local Marshall's, looking through the little girls section and found these -


Forgive the quality of the picture but those are leggings with rips in them - for little girls! As in, the size on the leggings were a size '5' typically the size worn by 5 year olds.

Now, can someone explain to me why 5 year olds need to wear ripped leggings? Isn't that a tad too suggestive for innocent little girls?

But that is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to suggestive clothing items for kids. A couple years ago, the Limited Too, a store for young girls, sold thongs in many of their outlets. Yes, you read right - thongs. I have even seen those one piece swim suits with cut outs on the side, sort of like the fancy ones video vixens wear in music videos. Personally, I have never even put a bikini on my little girl, no matter how pink or frilly it is. Why? Because I don't want my little girl to grow up too quickly and I can't pretend, the thought of some pedophile seeing my daughter in a suggestive outfit turns my stomach.

Parents have the right to choose what their children wear, and as a parent, I choose to ensure that my daughter and sons dress appropriately for their age. So help me God!