Tuesday, September 29, 2009


A woman in Indonesia recently gave birth to a 19 lb  baby boy.

Thankfully, the boy was born by Cesarean section but, regardless, if there was ever time to call your mother and tell her you appreciate her, thinking about what this woman went through carrying and delivering a 19lb child is a great time!

I hope that both mother and child get back on their 'feet' soon - y'all know that a 19lb baby can do incredible things =)

BTW, Nigeria's 49th independence anniversary is in 2 days on the 1st of October. What plans do you have, if any?

Friday, September 25, 2009


Hey, everybody, I hope you have had a wonderful week. This week, a reader is wondering whether to stay or leave the relationship she is in. Feel free to share your thoughts, but please keep it respectful. Thanks!

Dear Solly:

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. He is my best friend and we have had a wonderful relationship, no major complaints to share, except that whenever he comes to my apartment, he never puts the toilet seat down.

Now, for some background, we had known each other for about 3 months before we became boyfriend and girlfriend. In fact, he came to my house to take me to the airport for a trip and while we were at my place, he told me how much he liked me and that he would like me to be his girlfriend. I said yes, he took me to the airport and when I came back from my trip we seamlessly edged into a full fledged relationship.

A few days ago, he called me in the middle of the night and told me we needed to talk. During the conversation he confessed that at the very beginning of our relationship, he slept with someone. Apparently, when I was away on my trip (the one he took me to the airport for), he got drunk and had sex with a girl. They had sex more than once, but he swears that they stopped having sex before I returned. I am devastated because we have had a great relationship and now, I don't even think I know him anymore. I mean, we have been in a relationship for almost a year and I had no clue. He has told me on numerous occasions that he fell in love with me the minute he saw me, so, how could he have sex with someone else right after asking me out? He has also told me repeatedly that he would never cheat on me, something I have always been very concerned about because my father cheated on my mother mercilessly when she was alive. I saw how his disloyalty destroyed my mother and I rather not go through that.

I am confused about what to do next and need some help. Is it worth staying with him? He swears that he only slept with her and has never cheated with any other person during our relationship. But, he absolutely refuses to tell me the name of the girl he slept with and now I am paranoid - thinking it could be anybody. And, if I break up with him? We are on the verge of our 1 year anniversary and he had been talking about marriage before he made his confession. I just don't know and need some help, please. Thank you.


Well, I hope we can offer some concrete suggestions to this young lady called Lola (fictional name). Her boyfriend can simply be referred to as Michael (fictional name).

Monday, September 21, 2009


So, its been a month of early wake ups and rides to school for The Enforcer. Yup, she's been in kindergarten for 4 weeks and she is loving it. Okay, she gets a little sad in the morning when we drop her off, but otherwise, she loves everything about kindergarten.

It was tough the first week, though. On her second day, I received a phone call from the school and spoke to my daughter who sounded hysterical! I drove over there like a maniac only to find out that she missed me and was being entertained by a few of the staff who had shared some snacks and toys with her. After a brief 2 minute talk, I sent her right back to her class. Poor thing. She was so happy to see me and the boys and thought we had come to pick her up early. What a rude surprise it must have been when I sent her back to class, lol! She hasn't cried since then, though.

Now, the homework! Oh my goodness! I am amazed at the amount and sophistication of the homework they give kids nowadays. The other day, TE had to draw non-living things (car) and living things (her baby brother,Bomboy). On another day, she had to draw what it is she does to help her parents at home - sweeping - so she drew herself standing next to a broom. I hope they don't call child protection services on me, lol! She has to determine what is over, under, to the left, to the right... I feel I need a manual to keep up with the assignments, but my mini me is sharp and loves homework. She even begs for more once she's done. I only pray she will be that excited to do work when she gets older.

Well, I got back not too long ago from a friend's wedding in California and while I wouldn't want to move out there, I have to say that Napa Valley is fantabulous! Driving from vineyard, to vineyard, drinking wine and incredible champagne at the Chandon winery is something I would repeat anyday. Just give me advance notice, loL! I went to Cali without my Husband and the kids, so it ended up being a relaxing break with good friends. Husband took his kids camping and there is even a picture of Bomboy on his potty in front of the tent. It is quite funny but I know he will skin me if I put it up here, =) One of my oldest friends, and I do mean oldest, also came out here to hang with me and the fam for about 3 days. It was wonderful. Thanks Dee!!!! We had fun, talked smack, drank way too much wine and gisted very well. Catching up with girlfriends is always wonderful. Let's all give a big cheer for our girlfriends (and gentlemen, you can give a big "ooh ah", or whatever rocks your boat, for your close buds).

Oh, and I just got in from Target, a store, and while there, why did I hear a worker talking about how she was flying to South Carolina to meet up with her lover who...wait for it... was driving out there with his wife!!!!! ESCANDALO!!! (yeah, I borrowed that from the uber dramatic Spanish telenovelas). She was talking about the thing and her fellow co-worker was talking about how the guy walks differently when she is around in the store. Mind you, the man she is having an affair with also works in the same Target store! Mehn, I just pushed my cart, which had Bomboy and Elmo strapped in (like Elmo is a real child, or something) and kept it moving. I do wish I could be in the store the day that man's wife comes in to whoop someone's behind....

Okay folks, come on by on Friday for another installment of TTTEC. I know its been a while, but I needed to take a break from it for a few weeks, but its back!  Stay blessed!

PS: I am super homesick for Naija! I want to have my mommy make me akara in the morning, eat freshly pounded iyan with efo riro and bushmeat in my father's village in Ondo State and go to a fancy restaurant in Lagos for dinner - all in one day!

Monday, September 14, 2009


When you really think about it, we tend to take toothbrushes for granted. For an item used everyday (and for the better of us, used twice a day), they don't get enough respect. They spend all their work time in arguably one of the most disgustingly complicated parts of the human body, stave off bad breath, plaque and even play a role in preventing heart disease. And yet, we use them for a short time and simply toss them for brand spanking new ones, ready and willing to serve us unquestioningly.

Why do I pen this 'ode' to toothbrushes you might ask. Well, the reason is quite simple and stems from observing my three children's toothbrushes, or rather, series of toothbrushes.

I cannot help but feel sorry for any toothbrushes that manage to go from this -

to this -

And all in a matter of 3 weeks or so. Keep in mind that the children in question are all 5 and under in age. One has many teeth missing already, but they all have itty bitty kid teeth. So, how do these poor toothbrushes end up in such bad shape? Well, I have my guesses and they include boys opting to chew on the bristles of their toothbrushes (maybe I should introduce them to good old chewingstick), while another (guess who?) enjoys rubbing the carpet, shoes, sinks, walls and anything else with his toothbrush. As for the state of my daughter's toothbrush? Your guess is as good as mine because, I no sabi (I have no clue). But all this maltreatment cements my realization that toothbrushes deserve a lot more respect and appreciation. Maybe someday, my lovely children will come to a similar realization and show their toothbrushes much more love. But until that day comes, please take the time to gaze adoringly at your toothbrush and tell it a heart 'Thank You'.


@ Aunty Isha: Don't worry the gist about TE and school is coming. It has been written already, but so much more keeps happening and I keep updating that post. I realized I should wait and publish it to mark her one month anniversary in kindergarten. Una know me nah (you know me), everything is cause for celebration, including one month in kindergarten, lol!

@ everyone else: Howdy!!!! How una dey? (Translation - How you doing?) Please do not hesitate to send in your issues, stories or advice for TTTEC. Remember, your confidentiality is my top priority. Not sure what TTTEC is? Check the right sidebar to catch up on past TTTEC installments and share your comments. BTW, what is your favorite TTTEC edition?

Thursday, September 10, 2009


I was born in Nigeria and can tell anyone that when it comes to raising and disciplining kids, there is a community effort. A neighbor up the street could whoop your behind for getting into trouble. Then he/she would take you home to your parents who would then whoop you as well. Most Nigerians who went to primary school in Nigeria witnessed either their parents of the parents of a class mate come to school and spank their child in the presence of everyone. That happened to one boy in Primary 3 whose mother walloped him with a koboko she brought from home. It wasn't easy.
Anyway, I say all this to say that when I heard about this man who slapped someone else's child in a Walmart store, I was shocked! Common sense should have guided this individual to mind his business. However, since common sense is not that common, 61 year old Roger Stephens told a woman whose 2 year old baby was crying,
"If you don’t shut the baby up, I will shut her up for you.
Then, he proceeded to slap the child 4 times, finally saying, 
"See, I told you I would shut her up.
Now, although I have wanted to discipline a couple snotty nosed, rude kids from time to time, I find it incredible that anyone would feel the need to slap a baby four times! And, a baby that is not his, nor related to him. Really, what is the world coming to? I mean, despite my Nigerian upbringing which helps one understand that ANYBODY can get into your business, this right here is pure madness!

Watch a clip of Roger "Slap a baby" Stephens -

What do you guys think? I have given permission to my friends and family to reasonably discipline my kids, but I know that if some random person hit my kids, I don't think my respect for the elderly would keep me from doing something ...

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