Thursday, July 30, 2009

INTERLUDE...

To bring you these 2 lovely African girls doing their "Single Ladies" performance.

It's a short one, so pay close attention to the hilarity.



Hope everyone is well Regular blogging returns on Monday! have a great weekend folks!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

TTTEC: BLOOD IS THICKER...

Hey Easier Crew. How are you guys doing. I have spent the last month trying to get all the information necessary to register TE for school and wow! It has been an ordeal. Running around trying to find all her medical records and get old records sent to her new doctor. Thank God we are now at the half way point. But my advice for all parents is keep a copy of your children's medical records. I thought I did, but somehow misplaced them.

Anyway, will be back to regular bloghopping soon. Please read the following installment and offer your advice and suggestions.

Take care!

*********************

I have 2 brothers and 5 male cousins, though they are all like my brothers. The cousins are all older than I am. My cousins' girlfriends always complain that they don't get the same kinda love that their boyfriends give the cousins, to which I always replied 'Duh!'. (The are only 3 girls in this family of 10 siblings/cousins), so you can imagine how pampered and sheltered we are.

Now, I kinda put two and two together and realized that they always come to that realization of being ignored when I am in the vicinity; like I'm taking up all the quality time they should have with their boyfriends. I've tried to find out from my cousins if I'm the problem, but of course they won't hear of that. I'm guessing they're just saying that because I'm blood and I've always been there, and the girlfriends are not permanent fixtures anyway until 'here comes the bride'.

Anyhow, the koko of this whole sumtin is that I'm trying to figure out if there's something I need to do different, or if I'm just worrying my pretty little head for nothing. It's not like I'm not blocking my cousin-brothers runs-es, but I'm not necessarily less clingy and 'lovey-dovey' to them than I was at like age 6.

The reason I'm using this joint is just to get an unbiased perspective of the whole thing. People who know me would give me the, 'Oh you're just very friendly and can be misinterpreted' yada yada.

What do you think?

******************************

Monday, July 20, 2009

DOODOO RETALIATION

First off, yes, I know I encourage parents to enjoy parenthood. And, yes, I know I spend more time laughing than otherwise. But the "suffahead" (punishment) wey I just suffa ehn? Kai!!!!!

So, as I have mentioned before, TK only wears his diaper at naptime so he can poop and have either his dad or I clean it up. *side eye* Well, I was fatigued and tired of cleaning up after him, after all he has pooped in the potty before and I thought I should encourage a repeat. So, I told my son,

Me: "TK, I am not putting a diaper on you this afternoon, because I want you to go to the potty and doodoo, like a big boy, okay?"

TK: pause. "Okay mommy"

Me: "Good boy"

And so, I left him in his room to have a nap and went on to respond to some messages and handle some serious business.

Later on in the day, Husband came in from work and after the usual greetings and kiss, he made his way to our room to change into some more comfortable clothes.

And that's when all $#*! hit the fan, literally.

TE ran downstairs laughing hysterically and said, "Mommy, mommy, TK pooped all over your room!!!"

I jumped from my chair and bounded up the stairs, 2-3 steps at a time. I walked into my bedroom to see Husband cleaning up poop from the carpet. And the stench that welcomed me... goodness gracious!!!!! In the toilet bowl were wipes, which are not supposed to be flushed down the toilet, and so my darling was working furiously to remove them.

All I could think was "Thank goodness I didn't jam this first." lol!

But, there was little cause to breath a sigh of relief. Later on, after we had dinner, bathed the kids and put them in bed, hubby and I chose to lie on the bed and chit chat. I was trying to speak but I couldn't concentrate. Something was obstructing my ability to formulate sentences and I soon realized what the problem was. The room was still very stinky. I started sniffing everywhere trying to find the source of the stench and husband even reminded me that he had done a thorough job cleaning up. But, for the life of me, my nose knew that there was some doodoo somewhere in the room. As I put my head down again, I realized that the stench was right at my side of the bed and so, I looked behind the bed.

What did I see?

Well, I guess TK was not happy with the fact that I deprived him of his customary afternoon-poop-in-a-diaper custom because right where my head lays where a stack of wipes that the boy had used to 'clean' his yucky backside!!!!!!!!

See me see trouble! This is what i get for being a mother who puts her foot down and encourages her 3 year old son to use the toilet for both #1s and #2s.

But have no fear, computer friends, this battle is far from over.

=)

PS: Yes, the majority of those who took the poll last week were correct - the culprit was indeed Bomboy! lol!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

KARMA IS REAL; TAKE A POLL

Oh my goodness....

It is never too early to learn the laws of the universe. I have been warning a certain child that karma is real, but all my warnings fell on deaf ears. 

One of my children just bit their own finger while greedily stuffing cheese into their mouth. lol!!!!! I just can't stop cracking up! This child has purposely nibbled at many a person's finger when being fed for the satisfaction of getting a yelp or grimace. lol!!!!!

Maybe this experience will change the child's ways. But, something tells me it won't. All the same, I got a good laugh!!!! And you guys can try to figure out if it was The Enforcer (TE), The King (TK) or Bomboy that just learned one of life's lessons the hard way - the way I think kids sometimes.

PS: Mommy loves you sweetie but I have to laugh because it really is funny!



See you guys tomorrow for another TTTEC installment.

Monday, July 13, 2009

IPOD TESTIMONY

Many of you do not know this, but I am an ardent runner. I cover anywhere between 28-35 miles a week. One of the things that has made my running even more enjoyable is listening to serious contemporary Nigerian music on an iPOD shuffle. I jacked it from Bomboy's Godmother when she upgraded to a fancy mint colored iPOD Nano.
http://www.nothingbutmp3.co.uk/images-articles/ipod_shuffle_clip_bottom.jpg

Well, on Sunday evening, I went for my run as usual and returned refreshed. The shuffle was clipped to my pants and I bounded up the stairs to join my family for dinner. I dug into some baked chicken, which was delicious and had been 'created' by Husband and after dinner, we put the kids to bed.

Later, I decided to wash some clothes including my workout clothes of earlier that evening. Forgetting that the shuffle was clipped onto my workout pants, I threw it into the washing machine, added some detergent, set the cycle for 40 minutes and went off to watch some anime.

Twenty minutes later, I realized the shuffle was not in its dock and thus it was in the washing machine!

I flew to the washing machine (yes, I flew), flung the lid open and shoved my hands into the cold water digging desperately for my black workout pants. I pulled out several pairs of my hubby's black socks, but of course, the item I sought eluded me. Finally, I found the pants and unclipped the shuffle. It was sopping wet and I threw it on my desk in disgust. All I could think to myself was how irresponsible I had been. I am very good at taking care of things. I hardly ever lose or destroy things.

So, yes, I was disappointed with myself. I got an iPOD shuffle for free and see what I did to it!

Well, I didn't beat myself up for too long - no sense in that, right? I started researching what new iPOD I would try to buy but for some reason, there was a little kernel of a though that kept telling me not to rush into anything, that I just might end up shocked.

And shocked I was on Wednesday evening after I returned from another of my runs. I decided to take one last look at the poor iPOD. I turned it on, and a little orange light started flashing. I started to get excited. I put it on its dock, and before I knew it, the light was green signifying it had charged completely. As I type, I am listening to, bump that, I dey dance well, well to J. Martin's "Oyoyo" and all I can say is "weee!!!!". I can't believe the iPOD is working and fantabulously at that!!!! Ooh, Timaya's "Yankuluyah" just came on. "Who kill dem mama eh?" oh yeah, I am getting my groove on!!!!! Ah, my Naija music! I have missed it so! Listening to the usual rap and pop radio stations or listening to CNN does not compare. Though, I do love National Public Radio on which writer Chimamanda Adichie was recently interviewed.

Anyway, that, my computer friends, is my iPOD testimony. Make una help me thank God oh! I was about to spend $250 to buy an iPOD Touch. Money I could have used for something else, but I missed having an iPOD and considered upgrading to a more powerful one. But, now, I go just manage my free iPOD shuffle that went to the dark, liquid depths of my washing machine and came out unscathed. yippee!!!!

Listening to "Babylon System" by Bob Marley - we've been trodding on the wine press, much too long. Rebel. Babylon System is a Vampire..." Aaaah....

Friday, July 10, 2009

TTTEC: DANGEROUS LOVE

Hey people:

I received a message from someone wanting to share her family's experience as it relates to my earlier post on marriage and people not being pressured to marry. However, because I think it will spark some controversial discussion and because I will be unavailable to monitor the discussion this weekend, I have decided to push it till next week Friday. So, instead, let's try and offer some advice to this gentleman. I am calling to the guys especially to share their opinions on this.

Have a blessed weekend and see you on Monday!

***************************
Dear Solomonsydelle:

I am in love with Christina. I have loved her for as long as I knew her. We were an item in secondary school but soon, I left to school abroad. Over time, we lost contact, but she never left my mind.

I am now back in Lagos and have reconnected with Chris. We have gone to lunch a few times and we talk on the phone as friends all the time. Unfortunately, she is in a relationship with a complete bastard. He has lots of money and is good at spending it on her but he just does not treat her well. She is always complaining about the relationship, but she believes that she is in love with him.

I do not have the heart to tell her that her boyfriend is widely known to be cheating on her with many women. My company and his have worked together on a couple deals and I have witnessed him boast about the women he sleeps with.

How do I get Chris to see that her boyfriend is no good for her? I ask her questions from time to time about their relationship and she recently cried to me about things. She thinks that because they have been together for 4 years he will marry her and she is not willing to wait to see if anyone else marries her. I know I love Chris and would marry her in a minute. She is beautiful, intelligent, kind, soft spoken, funny and a wonderful woman. That Ike does not realize this is even more painful for me. I know I would be a better man for her, but I do not know how to even bring up that subject. What if she stops talking to me? I would be devastated. Then, there is also another problem. I worry that bringing this subject up with Chris could jeopardize the business my company does with Ike's company. Unfortunately, I cannot jeopardize that because if things go wrong, there are many who will suffer from the loss of that account.

Please give me some advice.

********************************

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

SHOULD YOU GET MARRIED?

I am convinced that marriage is not for everyone. There are gals and guys that have little business entering that sort of partnership. Not because they are bad people, but because that specific relationship is just not conducive to their temperament and or attitude.

For instance, I have a cousin. Let's call him - Inyang. The guy is my blood relative, as in his mother and my mother are sisters. Despite that, he is a classic example of a lowlife. Harsh, I know, but no worries. He has known that I never liked him since I was 5 or 6. God bless him, but none of this will be news to him. Anyway, Inyang is the sort of person that will live in your house, eat all your rice and garri[1], use up your telephone and not contribute a dime. Or, more appropriately, a kobo[2]. He did that frequently to my mother who would constantly complain. Being that it is hard for me to lie, I once told my mother to no longer complain about him to me, simply because (1) I already did not like him, so no need to compound the negative feelings, (2) my mother has always enabled his laziness and bad behavior by always allowing him to rely on her even though he has taken her things in the past. I felt that if she was willing to put up with his wahala[3], she shouldn't have me to complain to.
http://www.familycourtchronicles.com/marriage/ban-marriage-big.gif
Well, it turns out that the family (my extended family) is now concerned by the fact that Inyang is not yet married. My mother (AKA "Shine, Shine"[4]) expressed the following -

Shine, Shine: "Ah, we are worried about your cousin, Inyang."
Me: "Why?"
Shine, Shine: "He is in his 40s now and he is not married. He has no children. He needs to settle down."
Me: "Why?"
Shine, Shine: "Ah, ah, what do you mean "why"?"
Me: "Well, if he is in his 40s and has not intimated that he wants to get married, then why do you want to 'koba'[5] some woman who would get stuck marrying him?"
Shine, Shine:  stunned silence

Don't worry, my mother is used to my bluntness. But, I had to go on to explain further. My mother is a wonderful person, and it was clear that she and her sisters (the one's most likely scheming on this marriage issue) just want the best for Inyang. However, I would never want to marry a person like him. He has little understanding of responsibility and once tried to dupe a cousin of ours. So, why would we, as a family, want to bring some innocent woman into that kind of situation? I went on to add that we should not ignore the possibility that Inyang is very happy to be single, and so, pressuring him to marry could only make him despise marriage and a future wife.

All I know is that if someone is comfortable being single, be it male or female, please 'free' them. Allow them to live their life. If someday he suggests he is looking for a wife, then Shine, Shine and her sisters can go nuts trying to set him up. I swear, these women are just looking for something to do i.e. plan a big wedding, lol! We have female cousins looking for men of virtue to marry, those are the one's my family should focus on.

Honestly, not everyone should get married. If Inyang doesn't want to marry, that's fine. If he doesn't want children. That's fine as well. Particularly considering that his mother had 11 children of her own, many of whom have gone on to have loads of kids. Yes, pikin boku for that side of the family. Inyang's mother has enough children, gran children and even great grand children (I believe, but could be wrong, can't keep up) to keep her hands super busy. If one or 2 or even 3 or 4 kids don't want to marry and produce offspring, thats okay. It doesn't make them deficient (well, in general, you guys already know my feelings on Inyang). As someone who thanks God for sending me a good mate, I am not against marriage. I just think certain people, especially those who likely know they don't want to marry, should enter that sort of union.

What do you guys think? I've made an argument for why Inyang shouldn't get married, but do you think there are valid reasons to not get married?



[1] Garri - a cassava derivative, that is eaten in Nigeria and other parts of West Africa
[2] Kobo - the smallest denomination of the Naira, Nigeria's currency. 10 kobo = 1 Naira
[3] Wahala - stress, trouble, problems, B.S.... you know the drill
[4] "Shine, Shine" - my mommy's nickname. Refers to bright, shiny things. Jewelry.
[5] Koba - to jinx someone.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

TAPPING CURRENT

For those who don't know, "Tapping Current" is/was a slang term used to refer to a guy who would hug a girl for far too long. The assumption being that those extra seconds spent hugging a girl were used by the guy to enjoy the warm contact with a girl's bossom. Or something like that.

Anyway, it seems Bomboy has figured out the art of "tapping current". He thoroughly enjoys hugging ladies and not a side hug like some squirmish kids do. He likes the full body/chest contact hug, and I believe it is so that he can enjoy ... well, you guys understand.

The other day at the swimming pool, he spent a considerable amount of time booed up with his best friend's mother! No, she's not a cougar, lol! She kept saying, "Eh, Bomboy, you are showing me a lot of love today, oh." I tried to bite my tongue but as a Senior Babe, I couldn't leave my fellow sister in the dark, even if it involved my woman-wrapper son. So, I told her, "Don't mind him oh! He's just tapping current." She laughed and once his cover was blown the guy opted to play in the pool with his siblings and his friend Baby A. lol!

I can definitely say that I am not surprised by this boy's propensity for booby-loving. He proved he was a "breast man" when he was just a tiny baby. For those of you newer Easier family members check out this post - "Bomboy is a Breast Man". He was only about 4 months at the time, you know?

What would happen if Bomboy had to meet some of the blogsville aunties?

Like Sugabelly for instance.
[IMG_0941.JPG] 
What about Bumight?
 
Or, even, hmm, who else has showed us their impressive bossoms? Oh yeah, this madam, the exschoolnerd, that needs her friend to carry the things for her...

WOAH!

A Good Mother's prayer -
 "Dear Lord God, please don't let it be that my minor son gets slapped with a sexual harassment suit that I will then have to pony up the money for. He is only 2, ain't got no job and lives at home with his mama. He's a good child Lord, he just can't concentrate around breastesses. We are trying to raise him right Lord, but we definitely need some of your extra help. In Jesus' name, we pray."

Let the congregation say -

"AMEN!!!"


By the way, was it Shona Vixen's or Temite's derrier we saw in a blog post recently? For the life of me, I can't remember whose blog it was.... Anyway, to whoever that lovely lady was, don't come near TK. If Bomboy is a breast man, then best believe that TK is a man who appreciates the ikebe (bum in pigdin/Yoruba).

These boys will not kill me.