Tuesday, April 28, 2009

CAMPING REDUX

Somehow, someway, I got roped into another camping trip with Husband and his children. lol! Remember my post on the first family camping trip? Anyway, this time we ended up hitching up a tent in Assateague State Park not too far from OCean City, MD which is a fun and busy beach town. The kids, of course, had a fabulous time. Husband was happy to be in his element. And, me? Well, I was suffering from a serious sleep deficit but managed to have a fun time as well. Nothing beats spending quality time with one's family, whether it is at the beach or at home, and I am thankful for the opportunity.

Now, you all know that hanging out with my kids always means that something silly happens, right? Well, trust me TK did not disappoint. The guy decided that as long as he was camping there was no need to use a toilet (which actually was a short walking distance from our tent). Whenever the boy felt the urge to pee, he would whip out his 'weener' and unleash his pee on the sand! He did it a couple times, and I swear I was too tired to get into a discipline session with him. Husband, who I thought would discourage the behavior, instead looked at his son with satisfaction. You know, that look that says "That's my boy!" The guy was thoroughly amused by it all.

And, can you imagine that even after getting back,the boy thought peeing in my backyard would be a good idea? Yesterday afternoon, while the gang was playing in the yard and I was relaxing in the cool playroom, the boy brought out his penis and was aiming at the grass when his younger brother, Bomboy, came running by. Bomboy almost got doused in his brother's pee, lol!!!! Hahahahaha. I am laughing about it now, but it was not funny yesterday, lol! These kids of mine....

Here are a couple pics from the trip. Check out the wild horses. I have never seen a wild horse before. It looks like a cross between a donkey and a race horse. And can I just say that horse doodoo is HUGE!!!! And, stinky! I don't think I can complain about the sight, stench and size of the poop my boys create anymore. =0



See TK riding his trike along the beach? He was so happy!

Anyway, come back on Friday for another TTTEC installment and have a blessed week.

Ooops, before I forget, blogville has a baby in its midst! No, not Bumight and Doug's e-baby. =) Fashion designer and blogger, Folake, had her baby and that child is just so precious! Visit her blog at blog.weweclothing.com and show her some love. I thank God say I don born all my pickin finish, because, Folake's baby is so cute, she will make you want to run out there and get to procreating, I swear. But, since I don shine my eye well, well, (3 kids and all), I can simply appreciate the beauty of a new life without wanting to have a new baby of my own. I can't even imagine adding another child to this wild bunch, lol!

See you on Friday!

Friday, April 24, 2009

TTTEC: PORN

Today's installment presents another sensitive issue and as such, I will be monitoring the comments to ensure that they remain respectful. That being said, if you leave a comment that is very rude, or obscene, I will be forced to remove it. So, if you notice your comment has been deleted, I apologize in advance, but I have to ensure that TTTEC remains a forum for serious conversation without the fear of insults or disrespect.

Thanks everyone.
***********************
Dear SSD:

My twin sister and I are best friends and I love her dearly. She got married just over a year ago and just had a beautiful little girl. Her husband works in medical sales and travels extensively around the country, but his job allows my sister to be a stay at home mommy and they have a happy marriage.

Unfortunately, my sister told me something that has left me sleepless and extremely concerned.

Her marriage is relatively brand new but during a recent disagreement, her husband confessed that he has slept with over 20 prostitutes since they got married.

The minute I heard this, I drove to my sister's house, over 1 hour away, and stayed with her. The next morning, I took her to get tested and the initial results were negative, thank God. Their daughter is also negative for any dangerous diseases, but my sister must be retested for a little while longer to ensure that she has no HIV.

I tried to get my sister to come stay with me for a while, but she refused. She said that she wanted to work on things with her husband, who at the time was away on business. So, she was going to wait for him to come home. Try as I may to get her to leave, even just to get some time for herself, she refused. She told me that despite the pain she feels, she would go through this experience again if it meant an opportunity to bring her husband closer to Christ. I was astonished when I heard this. Don't get me wrong, I believe in God, but considering the health risk her husband has put her and my niece through, I cannot understand what she is thinking. She has discouraged me from telling my parents about this situation, probably because she knows that my parents will wrestle her and my niece out of the house.

I am so confused on what to do. Am I helping her by not telling our parents? They know something is wrong and my mother is very good at getting information out of me. Am I being a good sister by watching her stay with a man who has disrespected his vows in the most degrading and dangerous way? I need to know that I am doing the right thing. I know I could never stay with a man that did this to me and I wish my sister would realize that staying with him will only encourage him to continue his behavior. What do I do?

Monday, April 20, 2009

SHOES & CONSTIPATION

ALOOFAR IS ON TAP AT NIGERIAN CURIOSITY. CHECK HIM OUT!


How many of you have ever suffered from constipation?
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1329/1393596673_2aff6a79b9.jpg

Don't pretend like you haven't had a constipation encounter. Since you guys are my 'computer friends', I can let you in on an embarrassing secret - I have blocked my toilet with my constipation. Yes, *covers face in mock shame*, and I have done it more than once *AARGGGHHH* LOL!

Anyway, the other morning, I decided to soak my feet while the kids ran around playing in my room. Being that TK is now 98% potty trained, I thought it would be a good idea to have Bomboy run around diaper free. I know, I know, what was I thinking!

Well, I soaked my feet and tried to finish reading 'The Tipping Point' while keeping one eye on the kids. Before I knew it, TE screamed and ran into the bathroom,

"Mommy!!!! Bomboy pooped on the floor! He pooped in your closet."

Bomboy ran into the bathroom at this point. I asked him if he had pooped and, of course, he said "No." I brought him close to me and sniffed him, but he didn't smell like poop, so I kept my feet in the tub and managed to relax for another 10 minutes.

Once done, we went downstairs and had a normal day.

Can you believe it wasn't until late at night, after putting the kids to bed, when a foul stench wafted up to my nose. I couldn't understand where it came from. As I walked by my closet, I couldn't help but notice that the nasty smell originated from in there. I turned on the light and this is what I saw -

Yes, that is exactly what you think it is. Thank goodness the boy managed to maneuver his poop around my shoes and not on or in them! Can you imagine getting poop off your shoes? And, no, I didn't shout, I didn't get angry, I didn't even blink. Anyway, I walked over to the bathroom, got some tissue paper and cleaned up the mess. All I could think about was whether or not my poor baby was constipated. The next morning, I made sure my son ate a serious bowl of oatmeal. I need to get the boy regular. Now you know why these kids have to have oatmeal every morning. Given my own personal experience with constipation, and the fact that I wouldn't even wish that on an enemy (not that I have any), the goal this week is to stuff all my kids with oatmeal, bananas, strawberries and loads of water.

There shall be no constipation in this house. Amen.

See you all on Friday for the next TTTEC installment.

Friday, April 17, 2009

TTTEC: THE BLACK SHEEP

*******************
I am the oldest of 3 children. My brother, 'Bode', has always been a genius. He could never do any wrong. My baby sister, 'Lape', was always the apple of my father's eye and like Bode, was considered perfect. As children, Bode and Lape were spoiled beyond belief while I, the family's black sheep, was always chastised, beaten and ridiculed by our father for even the smallest things.

My mother was kind to me, no doubt, but could not truly show her love for fear of offending my father, who always told me I would amount to nothing. She would comfort me when no one else was watching and encourage me quietly. While Bode and Lape were sent abroad for school and showered with the considerable money our father had, I was forced to stay in Nigeria at a university that was always on strike. Thankfully, my mother's sister, Aunty Kemi, sent for me to come to England and with her help, and money from my mother, I worked my way through school and now have a simple job and quiet life.

My father recently died, and unlike everyone else, I never cried a tear. It is amazing how much relief I actually felt when I heard the news. He had tormented and terrorized me my whole life. I am glad he is gone and pray that he will receive more mercy than he ever showed me.

His death, however, has not been as comforting as I thought it would be. My father's lawyers informed the family that all heirs must be genetically tested in order to receive from his estate. Being that I had made my own life in England and had no need for his money, I chose to not get the test done. My refusal to get the test done, however, has apparently held up the entire process, because all 3 children must get the test. I have relinquished any and all rights I have to the man's estate and did not understand why he even made such a requirement. My siblings, nevertheless, believe I am stalling to aggravate them and send me threatening emails and leave vile messages for me.

With all the fighting going on between my siblings and I, my mother came to visit me. One evening, she got on her knees and started to beg me. Like any other Nigerian child, I jumped off my chair to force my mother to stand and could not understand her incoherent babbling. She was even crying. She eventually told me that the man who treated me like the scum of the earth was not my father and that that is why he had been so horrible to me. Her husband had always suspected, and she later confirmed, that I was not his child and that had been the main problem in their 60 year marriage. The DNA testing requirement was a way for him to prove it and get his revenge on my mother even in his death. It seems he wanted to embarrass her and myself.

I am shocked and disappointed beyond imagination. Even though I always wondered why I was put in my family, they were the only family I had, and despite the issues, I have loved my siblings dearly. But, to now discover this, I do not know what to do. With the way Bode and Lape are acting, I now want to do the DNA test so that they can leave me alone. However, now, my mother is insisting that I do not get the test because of the embarrassment it will cause her. Her brother, Uncle Akin, is a lawyer and said that if I just wait it out, my father's lawyers will eventually get a court ruling that will allow for the division of property between Bode and Lape, as I have relinquished my rights. But, I want to deal with this head on. I am even proud to not be that wicked man's child. I want the family to know that even though that man hated me, and I am not his biological son, I do not need anything from him to survive.

What should I do?


Disappointed 'Damola'
**************************
I apologize if this is too long for some, but I edited it as best I could without losing most of the issues as presented by 'Damola'. If anyone has any advice for him, please share. He really needed to vent and wants to know what others would do in this situation. Thanks so much!

Monday, April 13, 2009

MOMMY, HOW DO YOU SPELL...?

First of all, let me share Belated Easter wishes with you all. For those of you who observe/pay attention to Easter, I hope you had a blessed Easter. After a hectic week, last week, I managed to sleep all day on Sunday. Thank God, because I needed it! It is amazing how your body can 'kick back' when it has had enough. Come to think about it, Husband turned off my phone on Sunday to help me get the rest I needed. God bless him! But, I must find my phone and turn it on sometime soon...

Anyway, per the title of today's post you can tell I had a slight dilemma this morning. Everyday, my kids get a new word to learn. The "word of the day", shall we say. Sometimes, the word of the day becomes the word of the week, depending on how well they learn to spell it. They are typically words from everyday life like "shoe", "open", "book" - you know, 3/4/5 letter words. Well, this morning, yes, less than an hour ago, my inquisitive son, The King (TK), asked me a question I wasn't prepared to answer.

"Mommy, how do you spell 'booby'"?

Jesu Kristi, Oluwa Baba mi!!!!! (Yoruba for "Jesus, You are my Lord!).

Can you see what is happening? My son is already a "woman wrappa"(abeg, Shubby Doo, the reigning top Easier Offender, translate that one for the people wey no sabi, lol!), now he is asking me to spell bobbee for him. I blame my husband. Yes, that is who should carry the blame for this. On April Fool's day, he wrote "booby" on the kid's blackboard. He thought I would see it the night before and erase it promptly. Unfortunately, I didn't see it until my daughter, TE, asked me "what is b-o-o-b-y?" the girl had to walk me over to the board to see it. I just picked up the phone, called her father and told her to ask him. He laughed and told the child he didn't know. Yeah right!!!!!
http://lagorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/funny-pictures-cat-fell-for-boobie-trap.jpg
Sorry, had to put that pic up! Poor cat!

And, now, my oldest son wants to learn how to spell "booby". Why? I do not know. I suggested that the word was too long and gave them "door" instead. lol!!!!!! I had to do it, people! You don't know these kids. That is how we would be out with people and they would start showing off their spelling skills by teaching people how to spell booby. You cannot put something like that past my kids. Even Bomboy. He would shout "b-b-b-b-B!, BOOBYYYY". That's how he spells, but everyone would get the drift, trust me!

Now that I think about it, there is someone else to blame. DJ Zeez! He has me hooked on his tune "Bobbee FC" and I cannot lie, I listen to it in the car with the kids. It is my guilty pleasure and I am not ashamed to declare it. hahaha. But, he plays on words so efficiently and never even mentions booby, or does he? I mean the kids know exactly what boobies are and that girls have boobies while boys don't and you don't have to remind me that some men have boobies, God made us all and I don't judge! =)


Anyway, I have to run back upstairs and reinforce "door" as the word of the day, oh! But this week, I will do better at responding to comments and swinging by all your blogs. In fact, you leave a comment here, I will come to your blog in order of comments.

Also, come back on Friday for the next TTTEC installment and after leaving your comment, go read up on D'Banj's reality show, "Koko Mansion." Oya, kokolettes, how many of you will try out for the show? Leave a comment over there. hahahaha.

UPDATE: Just remembered "Senior Bobbee" from secondary school at QC...lawl!!!! God bless her as well!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

MORE FACEBOOK WAHALA

I am not a venter by nature. I deal with issues as best I can and move on. Someone does something I don't like, I let them know and if it isn't that deep, I simply let it be. Life is too short and there is no need for me to lose my peace because someone else lacks common sense.

So, today I am going to share something funny that happened recently, not because I need to vent, but because because this stuff is just too funny, and of course, I had to share it with my 'computer friends'. =)

Let me give you guys the backstory. When I came to the U.S. for college, my guardians were a family that my family has known since I was an infant. I have nothing bad to say about this family, as they were a blessing. Both the father and mother treated me kindly and till the day that I die, I will forever be greatful for their graciousness.

Well, when I joined Facebook, one of the only people I looked for was their son (whom I will call Mr. Wahala), who was my age mate. We never really got along when we were younger, but I never disliked him or anything. Just a clash of personalities issue, which once accepted, is just fine. After all God made all kinds of people, shebi? I sent him the following message,
"Hey ****, my brother, how are you? I hope that you remember me. I have been searching for you online for a while and only just thought to use Facebook. I hope that you are well and that your sis is in good health. How are Aunty and Uncle? Please greet them for me. I do think about you all often and thank you all for your kindness to me.

Anyway, have a wonderful Christmas! Take care of you and contact me at ****
"
Thankfully, he responded and we became FB friends but I do not recall us ever really gisting or anything else the way I do with other FB people. But that was neither here nor there.

Anyway, on TE's birthday, I put up a message on FB, basically thanking God for his mercy. You know, FB is a great way to offer brief testimony, sha, lol! Many people joined me in giving thanks and everyone wished the young lady well (God bless una well, well). Well, Mr. Wahala apparently sent me a message that I missed. What can I say, I am a busy girl, and I am allowed to miss messages. Apparently, Mr. Wahala left a message on my wall saying "Congrats..." and "Put up Some Pictures". That was really nice wasn't it?

Well, because I did not respond to these FB messages, the following are the far from nice messages I received from Mr. Wahala on Friday, April 3rd,

"Don't you think is quite rude of you to ignore my message?" [sic] sent at 3:32 AM
"I see you haven't changed your bad manners. Good luck!" sent at 3:33AM

???????

Na wetin be this? Abi na fight? And, on Facebook?  lol!

First of all, people need to stop taking themselves too seriously. Really. I know I don't. If someone doesn't respond to your message, rather than assume they are being rude, why not assume that they did not see your message or simply ask them in a non-controversial manner why they didn't. Then give them an opportunity to respond or not. Sometimes, people just don't have anything to say, and they ahve a right to be silent, even in this age of constant communication. And even if they don't respond, why is it such a big deal? Nevertheless, I have to take this opportunity to apologize to anyone whose FB message or email messages I haven't responded to, but I must also remind everyone that although I mean no disrespect, I am allowed to respond to messages if and when I am able to. I swear I am uber busy and mean no disrespect. People might not like that, but it is the truth, and I feel no need to lie.

Secondly, who starts sending silly messages to other people at 3 AM in the morning? And, in the same time zone for that matter? Na wa oh! It is unfortunate that I missed the initial messages but it is even more unfortunate that my failure to respond was seen as such a severe slight that someone would try to 'e-confront' me at 3 in the morning while I am enjoying much deserved sleep and then seal the deal by 'unfriending' me on FB. lol!!!! Life is so much better than that, I swear and if anyone does not believe me, please, just haev faith. I hate to seem uncaring, but Olorun, this is the absolute zenith of hilarity! Mr. Wahala if you are reading this, and something tells me that you are, honestly, even you must be laughing about this. Maybe you were out drinking, came home, checked your FB and decided to get all 'gully'. That's fine. But, never again, send me insulting messages of any kind as that is uncalled for and far too juvenile.

If this had happened years ago, Mr. Wahala would have been severely rubbished by me to his face or on the phone. But because I am a lot wiser (I hope), I have instead chosen to share this with my 'computer friends.' lol! I can't get over that term and am laughing way too hard over here. It just never gets old.

So people, have a blessed day, don't take life too seriously and always look at the ...Easier... side of life. But, when something funny, awkward or plain annoying happens "take it to your computer friends" (sang to the hymn "Take It To The Lord In Prayer").

And, like I said in Facebook Wahala, Facebook is the Devil!

Monday, April 6, 2009

WHY I LOVE BEING A MOM - MEME

So, David Wescott informed me of a new Meme started by the Bad Lady herself, Catherine (one of the first mommy blogs I ever read). The goal is to get as many mothers from all over the world talking about what they love about motherhood and today's my turn.

Ahem...
  1. I love answering the imponderable questions posed by my overly curious kids. "Mommy, why is the sky blue?" (had to go back to my science class days to answer that one) or "How do ducks talk to each other" or "Where do butterflies come from" (which has sparked a children's book that I am trying to complete). These questions force me to get smarter if I'm going to have a chance of keeping up with my 3 musketeers, The Enforcer (TE), The King (TK) and Bomboy.
  2. I love the opportunity to be a kid right along with them! From crawling competitions (which I never ever win), to snowball fights (I won the last one, yipee!), to going down the slide at the playground (all you Nigerians are calling me an 'agbaya'[1] arent you? *sticks out tongue*) to swinging away on the swings with glee or blowing bubbles on their tummies - you remember the wonderful things that can give you happiness in their simplicity when you have or hang out with kids and I love it!
  3. I love the fact that in addition to Husband, I have 3 other people who tell me "I love you" everyday! Yes, call me vain, but I LOVE IT! Especially when I am working very hard on projects, they (my entire family) have a way of encouraging me to work harder and I appreciate it greatly (okay kids, you all get a special treat today, you too hubby, lol!)
  4. I love the fact that I have joined that incredibly dramatic and loving club of Nigerian/African mothers. Yes, I must admit, even though I claimed that the dramatics skipped a generation, I am just as dramatic as my mom and many Nigerian mothers. We cluck over how skinny children look (even though I was a serious okpelenge[2] growing up) and force food down people's throats. lol! We don't take 'nonsense' (for evidence, see here) but show love constantly.
  5. And, I love the fact that I already am a 'grandmother'! Yes, TE has declared that she is a mommy to her hippo (actually belonged to TK, but that is another story), her toy monkey and her new Shih Tzu which came with a carrying bag, a comb, a magic wand and dog cookie (Minia, Husband is still rolling his eyes at that present, lol!). What better way to get ready for 'granny-hood' that to 'toy-sit' her 'babies?
What can I say, motherhood is tough but wonderful and thankfully, I can see the ...Easier... side of things and am loving it! I hereby 'tag' Jola Naibi, Folake, Chioma, Nyemoni, Lady A, Mommy, Simi Speaks, Jaybabe and KemiMamaLopes. You can find all the other mommies from around the world particpating in the meme at http://delicious.com/80clicks

Oh, and TK insisted that his Teddy Bear make an appearance, as well, something about "...computer friends." So, here is a pic of TK (well, his oatmeal covered face, anyway) and his 'Teddy'.

[1] - 'Agbaya' is a Yoruba word (my father's language) for a big kid.
[2] - 'Okpelenge' is a Yoruba word for a super skinny person.


Check out how the Associated Press described Lagos this time.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

"I WANT TO LISTEN TO REAL NIGERIAN MUSIC"

Children are amazing, I swear. They say the funniest things, but more often than not, they make sense.

I was listening to "Gbono Feli Feli" by D'banj the other day while on an afternoon drive with the kids. The song ended and I decided to repeat it. The minute I did that, TE asked,
http://www.nationaldailyngr.com/Images/banj.jpg

"Mommy, why are we listening to this song again?"

"Oh, because I like it."

Silence.

"Why, do you ask, mama?

"Well, I don't want to listen to this song again. I want to listen to real music."

See me see trouble oh! My 5 year old daughter wants to listen to "real music". Okay. So, I switched to my King Sunny Ade album, and played "Ja Funmi".
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61iHA1THKPL._SL500_AA280_.jpg

Guess what the little girl said?

"Mmmhhmm, thanks mommy. This is real Nigerian music."