Monday, March 30, 2009

BLOGSVILE'S FIRST BABY SHOWER....

Thank you all for being here today. We are all gathered here to celebrate bloNGville's (Nigerian blogville) first e-baby who will soon join us. Although Kolawole will be the offspring of Bumight and Doug, he will also be a child belonging to the community. After all, it is not by mistake that it is said that it takes a village to raise a child. An e-child requires even more than a village. After all, every parent needs help and it is our duty to help in the upbringing of our soon to be newest community member.
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Kolawole will require blogville's guidance and counsel to keep him on the straight and narrow. We will have to work together to keep him from seeing certain images at Aunty Afrobabe's house. He must know that when he gets older he will have permission to see the things adults see, but until then, he must bide his time. The women will have to work hard to keep him from being unduly influenced by Uncles such as TinTin, FineBoy Agbero, Baroque and even Big Uncle Naija FineBoy who might pop in from time to time.

So, to enjoy this baby shower we will do a couple things. We will eat jollof rice (specially prepared by Aunty Toluwa, Aunty Buttercup, and Aunty OluwaDee). We will drink 5 Alive juice and some (*ahem*) will drink ogogoro and Schnapps. The men have been invited and might play some ludo in the corner, or watch a Champions League match, leaving the ladies to ooh and aah over the numerous baby shower gifts that will be presented. We will also share our wishes and prayers for the young man. I know Aunty Jaycee, Aunty Aloted and Aunty Rita have special words for him on this day as they will on his delivery date April 30th. And, then, we will all share pictures of what we think Kolawole will look like. If you have your pictures, please leave a link in the comments section so that we can use the pictures to create an e-book to memorialize this great day. Now, please, enjoy the sounds of our specially invited guests, Ill Bliss, Terry G, B-Flo and Isolate Arafada. Feel free to slip your cd into the player or put your iPod in the speakers so that we can 'parry' well, well.






Enjoy yourselves oh!!! And congrats to Bumight and Doug. It must be said that we are wondering if you guys will *ahem* make things official a la white wedding...
=)

UPDATE: abeg oh! Shayo dey plenty! Make I hear word! Naughty, you can play chess if you want oh. In fact, I want to play scrabble or better yet, Taboo. That is my game! O'Dee dey plan bridal shower as that is her business, but babe, the link wey you add no work.

Continue to enjoy yourselves!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

YOU ARE ALL INVITED TO BUMIGHT'S BABY SHOWER

Yes, you read right! Bumight is e-preggers! And Doug is the baby daddy!!!!!
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Now, we all know that Bumight was once with Fineboy Agbero, but he fumbled badly and Bumight moved on to the blogville catch, Doug. According to his last post, he is spoiling her and treating her like a queen.

Awwww.....

Well, as una know say e-pregnancy no dey tey, it is shower season oh! Bumight declared that the e-baby shall be called Kolawole which means "harbinger of wealth". Now, that is a good name.

Please save the date, Monday, April 30th will be the e-baby shower day right here. Simply show up with your e-prezzies. I am creating the registry, but as you all know, you can feel free to offer cash money to the parents of blogville's first e-baby. Kolawole will likely have a blog within a few days/weeks, after all e-babies gestate quickly and grow quickly, shebi?

The registry is at Target.com and the Registry ID is 014399700456879. Go to https://www.target.com/registry/baby/find and enter the Registry ID number to access Kolawole's registry.


I wonder what Kolawole's avatar will be? If you have any ideas, bring the link to the picture with you on Monday, that will be our baby shower game!!!!! Please spread the word, thanks!

Monday, March 23, 2009

AND A NEW WEEK BECKONS...

Last week was a tough one. I had to deal with the reality that one of my closest friends would undergo surgery. And then, I learned that my 'Godfather' was scheduled for surgery as well. Thanks be to God, both surgeries went well and as I write/type, I am sitting with my friend, the kids are eating lunch and I am trying to decide whether to eat jollof rice, a ham/salami sandwich or something else yummy.

But I digress.

I am trying to write a book, people. Well, actually, I have a couple book ideas and have no clue where to start. Regardless, one book will definitely come to life this week. And, I need to stop right here before I begin to ramble aimlessly.

So, have you guys voted in Category B of the Naija Bloggers Award? Abeg, throw a vote or 2 in my favor oh! Like LG says, "scratch my back and I scratch yous, norring do you" lol!

And, can you believe that TE started throwing her breakfast in the toilet? That girl na wa oh! I guess she was protesting the fact that she has oatmeal every morning. But, before anyone passes judgment, please realize that my husband makes his children breakfast all the time and that is a 'battle' I have no interest of fighting. If he wants his kids to eat oatmeal everyday, so it shall be. At least, they are always regular. Hmmm, maybe a tad bit too regular... It is amazing what children of nowadays do. I can't imagine ever tossing my mother's cooking into the trash. In fact, I couldn't do it now as a grown woman. Reminds me of when hubby and I had other dinner plans and didn't want to eat something my mom cooked. Mehn, see dramatics. lol! My mom called me to her room, looked at me and said,

"Is everything okay?"

I told her I was fine and asked why she thought something was wrong only for her to slap her hand on her chest in the most dramatic Nigerian mother fashion and say,

"YOU ARE HURTING ME!"

Can you believe my mom was upset that we hadn't eaten her culinary creation? lol! Now you know where  gets her dramatic side from. Thank God it skipped a generation. =)

Okay, I have to stop now because 'hungry dey catch me'.

I still don't know what to eat...

Thursday, March 19, 2009

TTTEC: CAUSTIC NIGERIAN IN-LAWS

Today's issue is from a reader who is not Nigerian. She is married to a Nigerian and is in a serious bind. We have been discussing this issue for over a week but I have run out of ideas and quite frankly will be unable to help her, based on my suggestions alone. So, please, read her story and offer your best suggestions whatever they may be. You never know what will help.

I will be monitoring the comments to ensure that we all remain respectful given a specific comment from last week's installment. That being said, if you leave a comment that is rude, or obscene, I will be forced to remove it. So, if you notice your comment has been deleted, I apologize in advance, but I have to ensure that TTTEC remains a forum for serious conversation without the fear of insults or disrespect.

Thanks everyone.
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Dear SSD:

I am a stalker of your blog and love it even though sometimes I do not understand the slang you use, lol! I am not a Nigerian, but like you, I am married with children and struggling to stay sane! I need some help from you and your readers, so please hear me out.

My husband is Igbo and is the first son out of 7 children. I have never had a very good relationship with his family because frankly, I wonder if they love him or just see him as a source of money. Plus, they treat me horribly. My mother-in-law is turning 60 this year and as is apparently customary, she is expecting a grand bash to celebrate. We are expected to all travel to the village, during peak travel season, and stay for 2 weeks. As my husband is the only son, he is expected to foot the bill

Now, my husband lost his job 3 weeks ago and is having a hard time finding a new one. As I mentioned, we have 2 children in school, a mortgage and 2 cars but, we are about to sell one. Even though his family knows that he has no job, they still expect him to send money to pay for the preparations. In fact, when we told one of his sisters, she didn't even stop to ask how we were managing, she immediately asked if that would affect Mama's birthday!!!!

I cannot believe how inconsiderate my husband's family is. My husband is losing sleep over how he is supposed to finance this operation. I have always worked hard to not get involved with his family because they always accuse me of trying to take "their son" away from them, but this is ridiculous. I have encouraged him to ask the family to postpone the celebration or have his sisters and their husbands pay for it. We can give them the money back when we get on our feet. He tried my suggestions. His mother got overly dramatic and started screaming about how Mama Nkechi and Mama Patience had the bashes this year and how she cannot believe her son wants to shame her.  His sisters didn't even take the time to ask their husbands about chipping in, they all started complaining about the bills they have. This, despite the fact that my husband has personally given these women and their husbands loans in the recent past.

Personally, I have had it. I am ready to call everyone and curse them out because my husband clearly does not have the will to do it, but I know if I do that it will become a problem, and so I will not. But, I need a good way to get us out of making such a large financial commitment during these tough times. How can I convince his sister's and his mother to postpone this ceremony until when my husband and I are back on our financial feet? How do I deal with my caustic in-laws? They don't even talk to me when they come to my own house, yet they will eat my food and treat my house as if it belongs to them, leaving dishes everywhere. I pray about things constantly but I need some concrete advice on how to make sure we do not get deeper into debt over some extravaganza that my mother-in-law and her daughters feel they are entitled to.
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Please share your thoughts, thanks!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

"FOR YOUR COMPUTER FRIENDS?" (UPDATED)

I was taking a picture of my new bookshelf and my daughter, TE (The Enforcer) asked me if it was for my "computer friends." I laughed out loud because she was right. lol. So, here is a picture of the bookshelf,


On the shelf are a couple books, and those two huge things are a pair of marriage vases from the Congo that I picked up at an antique adventure 2 years ago. They are apparently given as wedding presents by the Mandinka Mangbetu/Mambetu tribe, but I could be wrong about the tribe though, so don't quote me. I am still adding to the bookshelf. I will put some pictures of the kids on there and a few more books i have in boxes in the garage.

Back to TE, she insisted that I take a picture of her hair which I did last night. She also asked if I would share it with my "computer friends". Well, I'm going to oblige her, since it's just the back of her head. So check out my diva's hair.
Too bad you can't see her huge grin!

Just found out (thanks GNG) that I got some nominations in the Category B at the Naija Bloggers Award. I am extremely humbled. I had absolutely no idea that I would get any nominations in that category and was only hoping to get and win one nomination in Category A. I congratulate everyone that got a nomination and wish everyone the absolute best!

Please check out the discussion about the new Nigerian slogan that was introduced to help "Nigerians believe in themselves again."

Also, swing by on Friday for the next installment of Talk To The Easier Crew (TTTEC).

See ya!

UPDATED (03/19): Thanks to everyone who voted for me in Category A of the Naija Bloggers Award. I won "Bloggers Choice Award" and "Best Political Blogger". I honestly can't believe it and am humbled by the confidence from all of you who were kind enough to support me. I just want to say thank you and also extend congratulations to everyone who was nominated, to those who won, and to the entire Blogville family. We dey try sha. Congrats to those fabulous ladies who organized the Awards as well. Okay people, I'm going to need your votes again in Category B, lol!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

"NEVER FORGET THAT YOU ARE A NIGERIAN CHILD"

Even though I lived outside of Nigeria for a good chunk of my childhood, I never ever 'tested' my mother. In fact, my mom recently thanked God (and of course, not me, hahaha) for being a good child that gave her no trouble. Anyway, as much as I love my kids, I have no intention of having my children run me out of my house. As such, I rely heavily on my genetically ingrained Naija mommy skills. Those skills came in handy when I decided to teach him a simple lesson over the weekend - "Never forget that you are a Nigerian child".

Well, on Saturday evening we had dinner with a group of friends to celebrate a neighbor's birthday. (Happy birthday Aunty 'Maka'!). The kids couldn't believe their luck. They were hanging out, at a restaurant, in the evening, with adults! Unfortunately, Bomboy allowed his head to swell! Instead of focusing on his food, he decided to get into a war of words with Uncle 'Pharoah' (lol, if I even try to explain where this nickname came from, una go laugh tyah, but that no be my gist to give).

I tried to coax the boy. For where! I talked to him sweetly, sef. The guy just pushed me to the side and started trying to flirt with various Aunties sitting in his proximity. Finally, I got tired. Haba. Abi, is he my oga? And, since when? Mmssschew!

I picked the boy up and looked him in the eyes. I explained to him that unlike when we are usually surrounded by strangers, we were surrounded by a group of Nigerians (my hubby qualifies, lol!) and one Cameroonian - basically people who are used to, and expect a child to get a good spanking, no matter how small he might be!

Can you believe the boy laughed in my face and 'talked back' to me? In a very loud and condescending voice the guy said,

"MAMA!!!! Da ba bada baba!!!"

And, he pointed his finger as if he was 'warning' me!!!!

WHAT!!! I didn't even know what took over me, I threw that child over my shoulder and spanked his diaper-protected backside (lucky child)! Ehn! The guy sobered, QUICK, QUICK!!!!! hahahaha. He just looked at me! He couldn't believe the indignity of such a public spanking. Silly boy!

I whispered in his ear that his behaviour was unacceptable and that I expected him to eat his food with no problem and quickly.

See as the boy opened his mouth wide for his food, lol! He ate properly and gave no more trouble. All signs of Bomboyism ceased and we all had a lovely evening. Later that night, my husband congratulated me on my skills, lol!!!!!!

Poor child thinks that he can just flash his dimples and that even I, his mother, will be captivated. Yeah right! I doubt he will ever try me again! hahahaha.

Well, people, voting ends in about 6 hours so please, cast a vote in my favor at the Naija Bloggers Award! Also, last week was a tough week for me. Lots of bad news, but I thank God because despite the tribulations, I am grateful for blessings and strength. I engaged in some retail therapy however, lol! I got a pair of ABS by Allen Schwarz shoes, some nesting tables and of course, I also have boxes of furniture ordered after the 'husband hyperventilates over spending issue'. Oops, didn't I plead the fifth on that one? Oh well. And for the last 5 nights, TE has woken with a dry diaper! One step closer to fully potty trained, yay!


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Anyway, swing by on Friday for a new TTTEC installment and sorry, I do not have an update on 'Michael' and his wife. But, I will let you guys know when I do.

Have a blessed week!!!!

Friday, March 13, 2009

TTTEC: SEX, MARRIAGE & GOD

Hey Easier Crew, how una dey? Today's installment raises some serious questions that either we or someone we know has had to deal with. Also, some of the issues related to his installment are of a controversial nature. So, I must implore everyone to be respectful of each other's opinion and of course, respect the reader who sent this in. It took guts to share this with us.

Okay, let's get right into it.

***********************
I met my wife at a function during a Christmas visit to Lagos and fell in love with her immediately. She was quiet and reserved but extremely beautiful and warm. Within 8 months, my family and I 'knocked'* and were well received by her family. 6 months after that, we were married, she moved out here (the U.K.) to be with me and we have remained faithfully married for the past 13 months.


When I met my wife, she told me she was a born again and a virgin, saving herself for marriage. I accepted this and because of my love for her, I went without sex for more than a year. She has always been 'shy' about sex and I accepted that, but I thought that once we were married, she would open up to it and no longer consider it something dirty.


Unfortunately, after 13 months of marriage, I can count how many times we have had sex. Each time we 'do it', she just lies there, with no interest in it and that also makes me disinterested. I had a very satisfactory sex life before I met my wife and I think about it daily.


I have tried to talk to her to encourage her, but she always lets me know that she finds it ungodly to do more than lay there, even if I am her husband. There are things I expect from her sexually that she believes are disgusting and revolting. How am I supposed to stay married to a sexually frigid woman? I need advice on what I can do to help my wife realize that sex, in all its forms, is beautiful, especially with her husband. I love my wife very much, but I cannot completely give up on the sex life I expected to have once married. What do I do?
***********************

Easier Crew, just in case you were wondering, I already recommended that he and his wife find a sex therapist and/or marriage counselor, but Michael's (not his real name) wife refuses. And, they do not yet have children.

Okay, please offer as much advice as possible. Thanks.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

FEEDING A BABY IS AN OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD

Bomboy now has a full set of baby teeth. We thank God for that. My mother is especially happy because she wants to introduce him to shaki, kpomo and bushmeat in the near future. In other words, "assorted meat." My father's village is the bushmeat headquarters for Ondo State, but, that is a story for another day.

Anyway, The Enforcer (TE) takes her big sister duties very seriously, and so, the other day, she offered to feed her baby brother some grapefruit. Never mind that the boy can feed himself, she insisted on feeding him because she sees her father feed me grapefruit at dinner. But, once again, that is a story for another day.

Where was I? Oh yes. TE picked up a piece of grapefruit, walked over to her brother's highchair and proceeded to feed him grapefruit. Who no like betta thing? Bomboy was happy to be spoilt and eachtime, opened his mouth wide with an "AHHHHH" each time the grapeftuit approached.

Well, it took no time for the love fest to end, however. TE was busy talking away, as usual, not watching what she was doing when all of a sudden we heard,

"Ouch!!!!"

which was followed by a seriously dramatic wail and a rush of large tears!

Bomboy chomped down on his big sister's fingers.

I can't lie, husband and I laughed when it happened, but here's why. We warned her to be careful. Besides, the same happened to me earlier in the day when I was feeding him cheese. And, it happened twice, as the boy liked the reaction he got when I screamed in absolute pain, lol!

She has now sworn off feeding either of her brothers, which I thing is definitely a good thing. She has now learned what I learned, that hand feeding a baby is definitely an occupational hazard to avoided at all cost. Particularly, when that baby has been blessed witha fulls et of sharp teeth.

=)

Check out this discussion on Nollywood and swing by on Friday for another Talk To The Easier Crew (TTTEC) installment. Remember that if you would like me or the Easier Crew to help out with a question/issue, simply contact me via kontactr.com/solomonsydelle.

Monday, March 9, 2009

MY NBA '09 CAMPAIGN!

Yes oh, people, no be joke oh! After seeing the great video that Miss Opeke put up on her Youtube page, I had to make one too! It took, um forever, but I finally made it. Please watch and please vote for me at http://naijabloggersaward.blogspot.com.

Congratulations to all the nominees and I will already confess that I voted and it was very hard in many categories because I am familiar with at least 85% of the bloggers nominated. My goodness..

Anyway, watch the campaign!

Friday, March 6, 2009

TTTEC: MY MOTHER OR MY BOYFRIEND?

Dear Easier Crew:

I am really hoping that you guys can give me some good advise because I really need some help.

I have a great boyfriend. He is very kind and loving. He always makes me a priority and I am very happy. He has met my family and my father is just in love with him.

However, my mother wants me to break up with him.

My mother is convinced that because I am older than my boyfriend, he will not be ready to settle down and get married when I am ready. The difference in age between us is not exceptional but my mother does not care. Now, my boyfriend has never given me reason to worry and in fact, he has never given my mother reason to worry either. He likes my mother and other than the age issue, she likes him as well. I just cannot get her to stop worrying about this age issue and she says this is causing her "heartache". I think that my parents marriage, which like other marriages, is not perfect, is influencing her opinion on this matter.

My family is close knit and my mother's opinion is very important to me. I do not want a situation where we are not talking or she is mad at me as that has never been the case before. However, should I leave him because my mother wants me to? If that were to happen, I know I would be very sad, because my boyfriend has done nothing to force a breakup. He really is a wonderful guy.

What am I going to do? This is really stressing me out and my boyfriend keeps asking me what is wrong but I do not know whether I should tell him or even how. I seriously need some help.

Sincerely,
Do I have to choose?
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Okay Easier Crew, make una begin yarn....
And when you are through here, please chime in on a serious question presented by Mogaji here.

Um...Padosh is private now? Since when? na wa oh.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

I WON!!!!!

Join me people, and sing to your heart's content!

Wina oh oh oh,
Wina!
Wina oh hoooh
Wina!
SolomonSydelle ee don win oh
Wina!
Kpata, kpata she go win again oh!
Wina!!

Sidenote: "Wina" means winner. I spelled the word as closely to the way we pidgin speakers would say it. lol!

Yesterday was a snow day for us over here. We got a total of 5"and that meant that the whole family stayed indoors most of the day. Hubby worked from home in the comfort of his bed while listening to a cricket match online. He was so happy! The kids and I played, snacked on fruit and I was forced to blow bubbles on their tummies. By nap time, my kids were giddy, filled up with food, kisses from mom and dad and I, of course, was exhausted.

The kids woke up full of energy and were soon off with their father to clear the snow. They dragged me out with them, which was fine, as I like the snow. I jumped up and down in the white fluffy stuff so much that one of my neighbors started giving me the 'stank' eye, but I didn't care. When my fingers started getting cold, I ran into the house, turned on the fire place, sat at my computer to twitter and watched hubby and his children clear the snow.

Then, I remembered all the crawling competitions I had lost to the kids. Yes, we have crawling competitions, we are a house of big and small athletes, you didn't know? Anyway, I put my boots back on and went outside determined to start a snowball fight, but TE beat me to the punch. I stepped outside and right into a little snowball that landed at my feet. It was on! I grabbed some snow in the yard and launched one right at her tummy. She started laughing and enlisted her brothers to join her, but they were no match, hahahahaha! Yes, I took care of all three of them. Then, Bomboy started calling for his "Daddeee!" and for a second, the tables turned because the force with with that man dazed me at the back of my head, ehn? In fact, he is still suffering the consequences more than 12 hours later, but that is another story. Eventually, hubby got tired and decided to go inside with Bomboy, leaving TE, TK and I. They knew what was good for them and soon gave up. Therefore, I WON THE SNOW FIGHT!!!! Yippee!!!

But I shouldn't have announced my win on Facebook (that devil), because see the responses I am getting from folks,


"don't dance yet, the results are flawed!!! You had height and size advantage!"
"I can't believe you won't let the poor kids win"
"poor kids .lol"

Ehennnnn? When my children are beating me because they say I looked at their father the wrong way or spoke to him the wrong way (they are such a bunch of Daddy defenders!), nobody takes my side oh! And when I lose crawling competitions left and right because of ojoro (cheating), nobody takes my side oh! I finally win something and now I am the bad guy? Na una sabi! I am still the winner!