Friday, January 30, 2009

TALK TO THE EASIER CREW: CONFLICTED

Hey everyone, this is the very first TTTEC of 2009. Hope you are ready to provide some good advice.

Easier Crew:
The last time my mom was in town, she dragged me to a Nigerian church. I had to go because I hadn't been to church in a long time and well, I was tired of her nagging.

Anyway, at the church, we met this lady who apparently is the sister of one of my mom's 'owambe' (party/society) friends in Lagos. Once the lady found out that I was a gynecologist, she was quick to ask for my contact information. My mother, of course, gave it to her. 

The lady from the church (let us call her Mrs. N.) called me recently. She told me she is pregnant and would like to get a medical check up. She also told me some long story on the phone about how she is short on cash and cannot afford a regular OB/GYN. She then asked me for advice on how to get Medicare to pay for all her pregnancy related bills.

Now, mind you, when I saw this lady, her husband and her were rolling in a Mercedes Benz GL320 truck, I believe. The reason why I remembered their car is because I thought it was so beautiful. However, I am a new doctor and with student loans to pay back, I will probably never be able to afford that car. Additionally, she was walking around church flaunting her Louis Vuitton bag, fancy gele (headdress) and nice clothes. 

I am shocked that such a flashy woman would start asking my advice on how to cheat her way into getting free pregnancy services. I asked her how far along she was and she told me 4 months. She also told me her husband owns a business and that they have medical insurance, but her family members have used Medicare in the past to pay for their medical expenses and they want her to do the same. Why can they not just do things like everyone else? Use their money to cover whatever medical insurance does not cover? After all, they look like they can afford it.

I told Mrs. N that I would ask around and get back to her with answers, but the truth is, I am disgusted and there is no way I can 'help' her. Why would this woman want to involve me in her scheme? How do I tell her the next time we talk that I cannot help her? I just want to scream at her everytime she calls for an update and I can only tell her I am busy. She calls all the time and at all hours with little regard for my busy schedule. And to imagine, my mother is also encouraging me to find a way to help her!

I am a simple person, but I cannot stand someone who lives their life flashily trying to rip off the system and somehow drag me into their irresponsible and very illegal behavior. Please tell me how to get this woman off my back. Also, how can I explain to my mother that I just cannot help this woman in defrauding Medicare? My mother feels like it would be embarrassing if I am of no help because she has promised Mrs. N's sister that I will surely help the lady out. And, believe me, I have one of those mothers that can never take 'No' for an answer. But, I do not want to compromise my principles.

Please help me,
Conflicted Doctor


PS: For those that don't know, MEDICARE is a government run program in the US that helps cover medical expenses for those that are below certain income levels and meet other specific criteria. From what 'Conflicted Doctor' has said, Mrs. N. would not ordinarily qualify for Medicare and hence she is trying to get 'Conflicted Doctor' to help her. Okay, just wanted to clarify that for anyone that couldn't follow.

So, fire away....

Monday, January 26, 2009

THE KOBOKO CONSPIRACY

You guys know that I have a koboko ever ready to discipline or threaten discipline when necessary. If you are newer to the blog and are not sure what I am talking about then visit Disciplining the King and The Mystery of the Missing Koboko 1 and 2. Yes, oh, this koboko history is a long one in my house and you need to catch up on your reading to get up to speed.

Anyway, the other day, I discovered that my entire family is plotting to get rid of my koboko. While hanging out in the kitchen, TK casually asked his daddy if daddy was going to spank him. Husband told him no and even went further to remind TK that he has not received a spanking since before we went to Costa Rica. He then told TK that he is such a big boy now, there is no need to spank him anymore.

TK smiled and was very pleased with the progress report he got from his father. He took that opportunity to then ask,

"So, daddy...we can throw away the koboko?"

Mind you I had been minding my business and cooking, oh. But when I heard TK's question, I whipped my head around to pay closer attention to the discussion my family was having. And, I couldn't have focused on their discussion any sooner because out came the following from my husband's mouth,

"Yes, all of you are behaving yourselves. We should get rid of MOMMY'S koboko."

Ehhhh?

First and foremost, I cannot believe that Husband qualified the koboko as "Mommy's koboko". Second, I cannot believe he would sell me out so quickly! May I remind everyone that I was toiling over the stove, cooking dinner for him and his kids. Yet, they were talking of getting rid of my koboko!!!!!

Some of you will remember that the children hid the koboko at one point last year. Since then, TK has tried on numerous occasions to break the thing, as well. Husband also knows that the koboko has proven to be a useful tool in getting TK to be disciplined. I even know that when we go to Dominica this year I will be buying some more to share to other parents!

Well, I put my foot down oh! I turned off the pot of stew I was cooking, walked over to the table where they were sitting and laid down the law.

"NOBODY WILL TOUCH MY KOBOKO!"

And I looked right at Husband who started laughing. Can you imagine? These people are trying me in this house. Let anybody touch that koboko, they will see...

Oh, can I just share one last thing. While watching Miss America on Saturday evening, Bomboy was mystified by the ladies prancing around in bikinis. The guy was watching a bit too intently so i changed the channel, only to be attacked!!! The guy gave me a nasty look and then charged at the remote control, as if he knows how to get back to the pageant. Na wa oh! The guy turns 2 in April and already he is showing serious signs of 'woman wrapparism', yes, that is a word! Even his Grand Aunt Granny B is advising me to keep a closer eye on Bomboy and his brother TK. Thank God TE does not flirt around the way her brothers do. God have mercy.

PS: Can someone leave a good definition for "Woman Wrapper" in the comments section for the no-Nigerian readers? Thanks! Swing by on Friday for the first TTEC installment of 2009. Also, read up in 'Lagos Justice' also known as 'Jungle justice'. The debate on this one is interesting, people are sharing their own personal stories and encounters. Na wa for Naija, oh.

And, if I may just say the Kefee's song, 'Kokoroko', is my JAM!!!!!!! Sometimes, I forget it is a Gospel song, but it truly makes me sooo happy and continuously thankful for life and the blessings I have been afforded. I will add the songa s soon as I can.

Have a fab week and see you on Friday!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

BOMBOY ACHIEVED THE IMPOSSIBLE

I am cracking up right now, I can't even see the keyboard because of the tears falling from my eyes.

Somebody please help me understand something. How can someone pee in their own face?

Really, I need an answer because I can't get over what just happened.
See full size image

Husband and I were getting the kids ready for bed. You know the deal - dump the kids in the bathtub for a bubble bath, yank them out, wrap them in towels, dry them off, apply lotion, apply diapers (TK and Bomboy), apply pyjamas, tell stories, sing a couple songs and haul them to bed.

For some reason, our routine was interrupted this evening by Bomboy's antics. He was hyper and forgot to sit still while daddy got him ready and he got swatted on the hand. The guy started crying and gave his father the evil eye. His father in turn looked at him and said, "You don't scare me."

Well, that made my son incredibly upset. He chose to pee on his father at that moment in retaliation, but unfortunately his plan backfired. The pee didn't shoot upwards and into his father's face. Instead, it shot backwards and into Bomboy's face.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, okay, okay, I know it is mean of me to laugh at my son, especially since he is not even 2 years old. But, it serves him right! Bomboy is an absolute sweetheart and can bring a smile to anyone's face in an instant. But when he wants to be naughty, there is no stopping him. Well, his pee stopped him. I think it burned his eyes because the guy sobered up quickly.  lol!!!!!

Oh my, he is going to be sooo mad when he reads this because I just outed him for his naughtiness so publicly. lol!!!!!! When you read this baby, know that  mommy loves you but you deserved it! =)

And, Bomboy isn't the only one who achieved the previously impossible. Congratulations to Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States of America. The world is one step closer to the 'Dream' the late Martin Luther King spoke of, and the hope inspired will never be forgotten.

Enjoy your day everyone. I just got my hair done and I'm going to spend inauguration day looking cute in my warm cozy house with my lovely kids and my 'dodge your son's pee' husband.

Friday, January 16, 2009

"NASTY BABY" AT THE AIRPORT

Yes, I love my children very dearly, and I pay for that unquestioning love by the embarrassment they can heap on me. But, what can I do, eh?

Anyway, when flying home from Costa Rica, we had a layover at the Miami International Airport. It soon turned out that our flight would be delayed for an additional hour and a half. Thankfully we were well equipped and fed the kids. We all got comfortable to wait for our flight home, but Bomboy decided that he wanted to put on a show. And, so, he dropped not only his pants, but his diaper and proceeded to run around the seating area.


Thankfully, there weren't many other people seated by us because they would have not only seen his 'manhood' (I can't keep a straight face because of that word!), they would have also been witness to something else - a large poop resting in the diaper!



Yup, I love my nasty baby!!!!!
lol!
Have a great weekend everyone and stay safe!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

THIS THUMB SUCKING BUSINESS

So, put your hand up if you were a thumb sucker growing up. Come on don't be shy. We can't see you and if you are at the office or a public place, everyone will just think your crazy, so come on. I was a thumb sucker as a child and didn't quit until I was 6 or so. They tried everything, even putting a whole heap of mashed up bitter leaf on my thumb. It didn't help, because in my sleep, I simply sucked everything off. lol!
http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/dro1271l.jpg
Anyway, of all my kids, Bomboy is the only one to delve into thumb sucking. And by delve, I mean dive head first with a vengeance. He started about a month ago and is ecstatic about the joy sucking his thumb brings to him at all hours of the day. During the Costa Rica trip, he exhibited some champion thumb sucking skills. On a bumpy ride, the guy was asleep and had one thumb in his mouth. But as his thumb kept falling out, he chose to hold his thumb with his other hand to prevent any slippage!!!!!

Husband tried to frighten him and the other kids away from thumb sucking by telling them that if they suck their fingers, they will lose the finger and not be able to hold their juice cups. It resulted in terrifying TE and TK who started threatening Bomboy with the story as well. But, Bomboy is a harder boy, he would just giggle and slip his finger right back in his mouth.

Bomboy's grandaunt started a pretty good anti-sucking campaign by saying "YUCK!" anytime she sees him put a finger in his mouth. The boy is genuinely entertained by it all and cracks up each time any of us use the same tactic. It seems to be working. I hope it works because this thumb sucking thing is becoming worse. When you tell Bomboy to remove his thumb, he simply puts the other one in. lol!

Anyway, I hope your weeks are getting off to a great start. I managed to get some sleep over the weekend, but Bomboy isn't feeling too good. Hopefully he will get better today.

Oh, and after you leave a comment, come see why I blog about Africa.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

I AM SOOO MAD AT BOSSIP!!!!!!!!!!!

I visited Bossip yesterday evening and ended up with adware and God knows what else on my computer.

***STEAM***

This is just unacceptable. I am not ashamed to say I read Bossip. It provides the distraction I need when I am doing a lot of my hard core writing for my other blog. But, this hurt me to the chore! And now I am hearing that Sandra Rose warned her readers about it. Why didn't you warn me, Ms. Rose? I think I will add your site to my reader.

I just finally got that mess off my computer but it screwed up my Saturday night plans. Plus, it revealed that my McAfee Virus protection is absolute CRAP!!!!! When I called customer service, I spoke to some lady in Hyderabad (fine i don't know if she was in Hyderabad, you can pick your own Indian city and fill in the blanks) and all those anger management classes flew out the window. Okay, just kidding. I have never had the good fortune of anger management classes, but really, she was sooooo unhelpful!!! It took the sacred blood of Jesus, plus images of okada drivers with buckets on their heads to keep me from losing it.
[Nija's.jpg]

And she had the nerve to ask me if I would rate her performance. mmmsschewwwwww.

Anyway, now that I have gotten that off my chest, I have a message to the administrators at Bossip. You know I did not deserve to get that adware on my computer. You guys need to work on that little problem. My message to myself (and you,a s a consequence of reading) - that's what you get for procrastinating when you should have been working on the things you were supposed to be working on. You lost crucial online time because you were looking at a gossip site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGH!

Rant over! Proper post in oh, let's say, 24 hours. Cool?

Shout out to Babajidesalu for the pic. He, and everyone else, has no idea how that pic saved that McAfee lady from having my true Isa l'eko (real/old Lagos) self unleashed on her. You really should check out his blog, ...diary of a Nigerian returnee. Interesting and hilarious stuff. That goes especially for you, Ms. Sting.

BTW, I used Malwarebyte's Anti malware. It is free right here and my computer is now spotless! And, I'm so excited, Nigerian Curiosity is now listed on Global Post as a recommended blog on Nigeria. Yipee!

Friday, January 9, 2009

PICTURES!!!!

First off I must apologize to those of you in Europe. This post was meant to be up much earlier, but alas, I had approximately 600 pics on my camera and my computer didn't take too kindly to uploading them.

Anyway, here are various pics of items I acquired on my recent vacation in Costa Rica. The first picture is a Chess board that uses Mayan characters on the left and Spanish Conquestadors on the right. The second picture is of a coral necklace and a jade necklace I acquired in Manuel Antonio, a beautiful town with an incredible National Park and astoundingly beautiful beach. The third is a picture of a ring made from a Tagua nut. It is some kind of palm nut. Very creative isn't it? But the creativity goes up a notch with the next two items. The fourth picture is a necklace/earring set made of beans (yes, edible beans painted red) and the tagua nut in the center. The minute I saw this, I thought of my mother. Not so sure what she will think about wearing beans around her neck and ears, though. lol! The final picture is another ingenious piece of jewelry. The necklace and matching earrings are made from pumpkin seeds which have been dyed and treated so as to preserve them. I could not walk away from this. I feel that this piece will be an excellent addition to my growing collection of unique jewelry and antique jewelry and gemstones.

Hope you like the pics. I have another pic I wanted to add of the stunt Bomboy pulled at the Miami airport while we waited to fly to Washington D.C. but I think I will save that for another day. Anyway, have a blessed weekend!

Monday, January 5, 2009

BACK FROM VACATION TO FACE A NEW YEAR

Yes, my people, 2009 don knack! As in, 2009 is most definitely here! I am so thankful for the blessing of seeing a new year and pray that we shall all be blessed with a 2009 that is fulfilling and successful in every possible way. Thanks so much for taking the time to participate in Talk To The Easier Crew Week 2. Your comments have proven useful to the readers who sent in their issues for consideration. I also thank you for your kind Christmas and New Year wishes. Hope you had a great Holiday Season.

My family and I had a 2 week vacation in the wonderful nation of Costa Rica. Did I mention that Costa Rica was wonderful? Costa Rica, in my opinion, is a beautiful country full of excellent beaches, incredible mountains (I stayed in a cabin located in a 'cloud forest', 5000 feet above sea level!!!!), great art and jewelry, tasty food (but not enough beef! I'll explain that later) and some of the kindest people in the world!

We traveled all over the country seeing so many parts of Costa Rica, stayed in 5 different hotels and I spent far too much money considering the state of the U.S. economy and the fact that I bothered my husband and you, my Easier family, about hiding money in case banks fail. *shaking my head* Ooh, I should put up pics of some of my purchases. Well, maybe on Friday.

Anyway, my only complaint about Costa Rica has to do with food. First and foremost, Costa rica has some great food! Don't want to confuse anybody. But there was something missing. Okay, many of you know that I live with people who can eat chicken in the morning, afternoon and night. Well, Costa Rica was heaven on earth for my family members. They ate chicken in abundance and with absolute glee. Me, on the otherhand, I was constantly in search of 'carne', the spanish word for beef. Na wa oh! Costa Ricans love themselves some chicken. Chicken must be their national animal or some sort of deity because there are chicken joints EVERYWHERE and even some businesses that have nothing to do with chicken or even food had chicken symbols on their buildings. Ah! At one point, I had a complete beef-deprivation meltdown! After a day at the Manzanillos beach, I forced my husband and children to drive me around for an hour in search of cooked beef! can you imagine that after all that, I still ended up eating chicken?!!!!

lol!

The next day, I met a Lebanese guy who had just opened a chicken (argh!!!)/ shawarma/ hooka joint. Once I saw the shawarma meat, I forced my husband to hit the brakes. The car behind us almost hit us, but thanks be to God on that day I was able to get some beef without causing undue hardship on my husband and kids and also, there was no accident. God is most definitely good.  Anyway, the guy who owned the place turned out to have been born and raised where?????

Lagos!

And, where did he go to school?

University of Ife!

Incredible, a Lebanese/Naija guy in Costa Rica!! His name was Samir and once he learned I was Nigerian, he took some time from the busy restaurant to talk to me a little. Anyway, if any of you will be in Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica, make sure you swing by Samir's spot and tell him I sent you =) Oh, and if you are in Puerto Viejo, make sure you stay at Tierra De Suenos with the lovely Angie and Brendan. Their cottages are fabulous and I was awakened in the middle of the night by 'howling monkeys'. That was quite an experience. They aren't as cute as you think though. Those things scared the scrap out of me when they started making noise. So much so, that I was up in bed at 3 am creating escape plans for my children, just in case some horrible creature attacked. Ah! it was scary! But, at Tierra de Suenos, I also saw Tucans (a delightfully colorful bird native to Costa Rica), Hummingbirds, and many other creatures that woke me up every morning and shared their beauty with my family and myself. Can you tell that i want to go back? lol!


I came home sunburned! I still cannot believe it. How does a conk (strong/serious) Nigerian babe like me get sunburned? I mean my chest was bright red and days later, the skin started to peel. My husband thinks it is funny and is teasing me for being a fake-Nigerian! *rolls eyes* Na wetin be dat? I thought my skin was tough like sandpaper before, after all I lived in Nigeria and attended school in Yaba, Lagos, being punished with my entire set under the hot Nigerian sun. But, I'm not sure what they put in their sun over there in Costa Rica. Or maybe like everything elese, it is just pure, hence the catch phrase for Costa Rica - la pura vida! (the pure life).

Ah, let me stop before this post gets far too long. Anyway, una sabi seyIi get tori plenty with regard to the kids. As usual they were up to their antics and husband, myself and several Costa Ricans laughed along at the entertainment. So, lets see...I will put up some pics on Friday and get back to regular blog programming next Monday with some of the kids hilarious exploits from Costa Rica. Also, if I am yet to stop by your blog, please forgive me, but I am working hard to swng by and salute una propa! I can't believe how many blogs I vist on a regular basis. Na wa oh!

God bless!!!!!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

TALK TO THE EASIER CREW WEEK 2: THE COLLECTION

Here are the installments from the second Talk To The Easier Crew Week 2

  1. To Tell The Truth Or Not?
  2. Dumped on Facebook
  3. Marriage Regrets
  4. Marital Infertility
  5. What Do You Think?
Feel free to read these, the issues presented in Talk To The Easier Crew Week 1, and of course the entire collection of Talk To The Easier Crew issues which are located as a list in the sidebar.