Monday, June 15, 2009

SOFT TOILET PAPER (UPDATED)

COMMENTS HAVE BEEN FIXED OH!

What has a girl got to do to get some cottony soft toilet paper over here?

God bless my Husband but no matter what I do, it appears that he does not understand how important it is for me to have soft, double ply toilet paper. He enjoys going to our local wholesale store to buy the things every family with small children needs in bulk - diapers, wipes, fruits, gallons of milk and sometimes, just sometimes, toilet paper.

Husband bought 36 rolls of toilet paper. They were double ply, alright, but my good Lord! Those things must be industrial grade! The thing was rough like sandpaper.
http://mountaincatgeology.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/chuck_norris_toilet_paper.jpg
I woke the man up in the middle of the night in protest when I had to use some! It felt like I was using sand-paper to clean myself! Haba, na wetin! I try not to endorse or mention products at my blogs especially if I am not getting paid for them, but BJ's so called Premium Bath Tissue, which claims to be "Soft & Absorbent" sucks!!!! I have repeatedly warned my wonderful husband not to buy their toilet paper products, but if I don't specify a brand, he just picks up the first thing he sees. And now, I am suffering the consequence!

I woke him up around 1am this morning and complained. Yes, I woke him up. A wife has a right to soft toilet paper. You better believe it. I told him, "I know that you men don't use toilet paper, but you really have to buy me soft toilet rolls. This stuff is unacceptable."

The man opened one eye and asked in slight irritation, "Of course men use tissue paper, what you think we do, wipe our butts with our hands?"

At this point, the image his comment generated in my head cracked me up, but I had to remain serious so as not to dilute my issue. I immediately realized the problem, and the male readers can chip in to correct me if i am wrong. The issue is that men, unlike women, hardly have any soft bits to them (lol!). If they did, they would understand the significance of soft tissue on skin. Men use much less toilet paper than women, and they technically only use it on their butts which (no offense to my male readers) are rough as #&!!. Consequently, men cannot understand the need for soft tissue paper the way women can. I am considering buying my own special toilet paper, but that would be fruitless, because I would have to put it in one bathroom and use that bathroom only. Considering the way my life is, that makes no sense. I guess I could walk around the house with my own special toilet paper and simply take it where I go. I have to think of something or else I am stuck with 36, well, now 35 rolls of coarse, disgusting tissue paper from BJ's and that stuff can last for months!!!!!

UPDATE: Hallelujah! I have purchased double-ply, extra soft tissue paper to keep my 'soft bits' nice and happy.

What's a girl got to do?

23 comments:

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

testing, testing...and I guess I'm first...

heehee

Lolia said...

I mean, how could you do this to meeeeeee? :'(

Haha just kidding, wooooooooooooo! Seconddddd then! B-)

Better yet 1st and a half :)

Lolia said...

Meanwhile for men tissue paper is tissue paper...It's not even acceptable...*sigh* Haha @ you waking him up to complain though! Anyway glad you got some **soft** tissue in the end and I hope you have a fabulous week Solomonsydelle :)

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

hahaha, no mind me, na you carry first by default my sista. Claiming first at my own blog just was not sweet at all. =)

A fabulous week to you as well, Madam Lolia. Wait, isn't this your second week in a row as 'first'?

Tinu said...

I was supposed to be first o!!blogger wasnt working!!!!hisssss Im even 2nd!!!!
you woke him up to complain about tissue???LOOOOLLLLLLLLL
HOPE the roll of "tissue" finishes quickly!hehehe

chayoma said...

No one disturbing my beauty sleep unless the house is burning down, or we are been robbed!
But me and soft tissues are best friends (Charming ultra soft).
my mum has a sensitive butt (as she says)so i grew up using soft tissue... and that is what my butt has acclimatized to.

Dee! said...

Yes O! We have a right to "soft toilet paper"

Thank God that you were able to buy your "double-ply, extra soft tissue paper"

Have a lovely week ahead!

justdoyin said...

hehehe...u woke him up @ nite to complain abt tissue? no wonder he answered u by opening only 1 eye...LOL...now that u'v got soft tissue, I'd suggest u label it "soft tissue - for FEMALE use ONLY"...lol...

StandTall-The Activist said...

lol. But I am proteting for men o, they use toilet papers too but u r right, they dont get anything sticking anywhere -lol.

Buy the soft type, show ur partner, I am sure, he will like it and buy that type henceforth...

Enkay said...

I tried and tried to post a comment earlier but the thing wasn't working!

But lady you harsh o! Waking hubby up by 1am to talk about toilet paper! The guy must have got THE message about his wife's soft parts..hehehe!

Thank God you finally got yourself some. Really, what's a girl got to do? lol!

The experiences of an achiever....... said...

lol..men hardly understand these issues!! we need soft tissue paper dammit! it's the battle of the tiolet seat all over again. I'm observing a trend o..all these probles originate in the bathroom..hmm

Uzo said...

LOL....Oh the soft tissue thing...But there has to be a abalnce you know...Cos i once got the soft type that disintegrated upon contact with moisture...

Men just dont get it.

doll said...

was supposed to be first...if only the comment thing was working hours ago

As regards men and tissue...dont want to write an epistle

Sweetnothin' said...

Amen to the Hallelujah...enjoy cos i know exactly how much pleasure you get from soft toilet paper

NoLimit said...

Oh no you didn't!!!
you actually woke him up to complain about tissue?!!!lol hee hee hee!!!
whoever says marriage is not interesting must be joking big time!!!lol

pink-satin said...

lol @ the picture you have up on this post...makes me cringe

Naijadude said...

lol.. now thats interesting.. lol..

Well I agree with you despite being a man! I am quite picky about my tissue eh! Gotta be soft and fluffy, because of that I only do the number 2 at home!!

How have you been??

Akin said...

Hello,

This is a very delicate issue of tissues.

I am for 3-ply soft quilted tissue with Aloe Vera.

For the more delicate feel, it is biodegradable wet masque removers with Aloe Vera.

One should be able to sit down after sitting down, honestly!

Regards,

Akin

BSNC said...

lol@ the picture, it can't be that bad. At least you have your own tissue now.

Could it be the BJ's close to the baysox stadium...

Veronica Lee said...

Love the pic!!

NaijaBabe said...

Mummmy this is not fair o! God knows I was waiting for you to hit " publish post" yesterday and let me comment. But no, you did me greasy! If not for my unconditional love for u, I would have told daddy to carry ok buying sand paper tissue.

Hilz

Anyways, I can imagine how you feel when u use public toilets. I don't think those are any better

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tobenna said...

I had this same discussion with my girl a few days ago. What she likes are too soft for my coarse a**. What I like are too coarse for her.
What to do?
I manage the too soft one.
Make the wife happy and be happier!