TTTEC: THE BLACK SHEEP

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I am the oldest of 3 children. My brother, 'Bode', has always been a genius. He could never do any wrong. My baby sister, 'Lape', was always the apple of my father's eye and like Bode, was considered perfect. As children, Bode and Lape were spoiled beyond belief while I, the family's black sheep, was always chastised, beaten and ridiculed by our father for even the smallest things.

My mother was kind to me, no doubt, but could not truly show her love for fear of offending my father, who always told me I would amount to nothing. She would comfort me when no one else was watching and encourage me quietly. While Bode and Lape were sent abroad for school and showered with the considerable money our father had, I was forced to stay in Nigeria at a university that was always on strike. Thankfully, my mother's sister, Aunty Kemi, sent for me to come to England and with her help, and money from my mother, I worked my way through school and now have a simple job and quiet life.

My father recently died, and unlike everyone else, I never cried a tear. It is amazing how much relief I actually felt when I heard the news. He had tormented and terrorized me my whole life. I am glad he is gone and pray that he will receive more mercy than he ever showed me.

His death, however, has not been as comforting as I thought it would be. My father's lawyers informed the family that all heirs must be genetically tested in order to receive from his estate. Being that I had made my own life in England and had no need for his money, I chose to not get the test done. My refusal to get the test done, however, has apparently held up the entire process, because all 3 children must get the test. I have relinquished any and all rights I have to the man's estate and did not understand why he even made such a requirement. My siblings, nevertheless, believe I am stalling to aggravate them and send me threatening emails and leave vile messages for me.

With all the fighting going on between my siblings and I, my mother came to visit me. One evening, she got on her knees and started to beg me. Like any other Nigerian child, I jumped off my chair to force my mother to stand and could not understand her incoherent babbling. She was even crying. She eventually told me that the man who treated me like the scum of the earth was not my father and that that is why he had been so horrible to me. Her husband had always suspected, and she later confirmed, that I was not his child and that had been the main problem in their 60 year marriage. The DNA testing requirement was a way for him to prove it and get his revenge on my mother even in his death. It seems he wanted to embarrass her and myself.

I am shocked and disappointed beyond imagination. Even though I always wondered why I was put in my family, they were the only family I had, and despite the issues, I have loved my siblings dearly. But, to now discover this, I do not know what to do. With the way Bode and Lape are acting, I now want to do the DNA test so that they can leave me alone. However, now, my mother is insisting that I do not get the test because of the embarrassment it will cause her. Her brother, Uncle Akin, is a lawyer and said that if I just wait it out, my father's lawyers will eventually get a court ruling that will allow for the division of property between Bode and Lape, as I have relinquished my rights. But, I want to deal with this head on. I am even proud to not be that wicked man's child. I want the family to know that even though that man hated me, and I am not his biological son, I do not need anything from him to survive.

What should I do?


Disappointed 'Damola'
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I apologize if this is too long for some, but I edited it as best I could without losing most of the issues as presented by 'Damola'. If anyone has any advice for him, please share. He really needed to vent and wants to know what others would do in this situation. Thanks so much!