Thursday, December 25, 2008

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Hey ...Easier... family,

I cannot believe the year is practically over. Here's wishing you and yours a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year. Remember to show appreciation to the ones you love and be thankful for the blessing of seeing another year come to a close.

TE, TK, Bomboy, Husband and I pray that your life will be abundant with joy and the mercies of the Creator. So, enjoy the season and come back here next week for another hilarious tale about these funny people I live with.

Sincerely,

SolomonSydelle

By the way, here are 10 of the incredibly funny highlights of 2008 at the ...Easier... blog to tide you over -
  1. These Young Girls of Nowadays
  2. What's A Good Place To Hide Money
  3. Coup Plotters & A Bone Crusher
  4. Gorimapa
  5. Potty Training Pt 2: Doodoo Rain Dance
  6. Its Raining
  7. Senior Babe Network: Beware of The Wolf
  8. Disciplining the King
  9. The Mystery of the Missing Koboko
  10. Saturday Morning

What were your favorite posts from the blog this year? Describe it or leave the title in the comments section. I am very curious.

Monday, December 22, 2008

A SNORING STORY

Okay, here is a secret you don't know about my family or myself....


Snoring is pretty common in my house.

Yes, my lovely hubby snores. Quite frankly I find the sound relaxing, sometimes, but have been told that that will change the longer we are married, lol! I, of course, snore. Husband says its a "sexy snore". Hahahahaha. You gotta love him!

I come from a long line of snorers and remember that my granny got surgery once or twice to stop her snoring. Nevertheless, my snoring barometer is measured by a close friend's father whose snoring was legendary. His own wife once said that when her husband's family were all under one roof, the very foundation of the house would shake! Trust me, me and mine have not reached that level. =)

But, I have now discovered that TE has a little snoring problem. It was cute at first, but now it really worries me. She is only 4 and her doctor says she is simply congested and suffering from allergies of some sort. She prescribed some medication which worked, but I prefer the kids take medication for serious issues. Snoring, in my opinion, is not serious. Nor are her 'allergies' because they do not interfere in her daily activities and thus, she should not be medicated for them.

Anyway, as I tried to sleep a couple nights ago in our hotel room (remember, the family took a little trip) I couldn't help but hear all the snoring going on. Even TK, who had played heavily all day was in on the snoring action. The guy own na wa! It was deep and I am not sure where it came from considering his little body, but if you hear the deep base that boy has when he speaks, maybe it is possible. The only non-snorer was Bomboy. Thank goodness! Maybe he might not have inherited the snoring gene that seems to be going around these parts, lol!

But, did I tell you why I was awake and listening to the snoring breathing of my beloved family members?

Um....

Uh...

It is a little embarrasing...

Well, okay I will confess. After all most of you don't know me and for those of you that do, if you ever bring this up, I will never talk to you again!!!!

Yeah, um, I was awakened by my own snoring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I know it is extremely embarassing but look, the truth will set you free, shebi? Besides, I had been travelling for almost 18 hours lugging cranky kids and working on less than 3 hours sleep. So what if my snoring got so loud that I jumped up in the bed, thinking someone was breaking into the room!!!!

And yes, my hubby found it all rather hilarious and won't let me live it down, so you might as well, too!

But, watch, you will see. In a few years from now, some scientists will reveal that we snorers are some of humanities most enlightened and world changing individuals! The snoring gene will be indicative of higher intelligence and ...

Oh, who am I kidding? I cannot believe I woke myself up - from snoring!

*covers face in semi-shame, after all you don't really know me*

lol!!!!!!

Season's Greetings to you all and as you travel for the holidays or work, get as much rest as possible so you don't end up like me thinking there is an intruder when the sound you hear is nothing but your own snoring!

And that is my Snoring story! No more embarrasing revelations from me for at least another 12 months!

God bless!

PS: I know this is late, but please join me in thanking God that fellow blogger Doja's nephew was returned to her family safe and sound after being kidnapped in Port. Read her posts about it and see how officers of the Nigerian Police took advantage of her family by extorting from them in a bid to fulfil their obligations. God have mercy, but I am thankful for that family's blessing this end of year.

Friday, December 19, 2008

TALK TO THE EASIER CREW WEEK: WHAT DO YOU THINK?

The following is a suggestion provided on a website for a lady seeking advice on how to deal with her husband's philandering ways.

What do you guys think about this? Is this the advice you would give to your sister or close friend if she was in a similar situation? Have you taken this approach and if so, did it work for you?

I am not judging anyone, believe me, I don't have the energy.  But I am curious about how popular this approach is.

**********
I'M MORE INTO PRACTICAL XTAINITY..
THE ANSWER AND POWER LIES WITH YOU AS A WOMAN OF GOD.
THESE STRANGE WOMEN ARE EVERY WHERE BUT THE HAPPINESS OF YOUR HOME AND MARRIAGE LIES WITH YOU.THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT.
THESE GIRL ARE NO ISSUES,
TAKE CHARGE AND PUT YOUR HOME BACK IN ORDER.
SOLUTION..........
1...SUBMISSION.
2...TRUST.
3...LOVE.
MY DEAR JUST CHECK YOURSELF FIRST,,CHECK IF YOU'RE LACKING IN ANY,
TOTAL SUBMISSION, EVEN IF YOU'RE RIGHT AND HE'S WRONG....SUBMIT.
NEXT...TRUST,TRUST,TRUST..
.........
EVEN IF YOU CAtch him red handed, just trust and finally love tenderly.
try this keys...it works.
let me share this testimony,
sometime back, a cousin of mine came to my house to pick me up for a drink out...
you know ladies nite out i thot....
i followed her and she drove into eko meridein hotel near my house in victoria island.
i asked her why cos i thot we were going to the palm...
she replied that she needed to pick her friends that came from yanki,
so dat they can hang out with us.
We got there and she asked me to come with her to call the girls out.
WE GOT TO THE ROOM AND PRESSED THE BELL AND GUESS WHO OPENED THE DOOR,
MY HUSBAND THAT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE IN ABUJA FOR AN URGENT OFFICIAL ASSIGNMENT sSINCE THE PREVIOUS DAY,
I WAS SHOCKED BUT I JUST LAUGHED AND HUGGED HIM.
I LEFT HIM THERE WITH THE YANKI BABE AND RETURNED HOME TO PREPARE FOR HIS RETURN,I TABLED THE MATTER WITH GOD FIRST AND PRAYED HIM BACK.
HE RETURNED AND I GAVE HIM THE BEST TIME HE EVER HAD,
LOVED HIM THE MORE AND WATCHED HIM CHANGE.
TILL DATE THE MATTER WAS NEVER DISCUSSED.
STRANGE GIRLS ARE NOT ISSUES TO ME, FOR BY HIS GRACE I CAN HANDLE THEM VERY WELL.
INFACT WAT I DID WAS TO CALL FORTH MY RIGHT AND REMAINED GOD OF HIS PROMISES.I PRAYED MY HUSBAND BACK.
AND TODAY,HE'S A MAN OF GOD....
MY SISTER, YOU CAN DO THE SAME,
JUST LOVE HIM ALL THE SAME AND PRAY HIM BACK...
I PROMISE YOU,HE'LL SURELY RETURN.
IT IS WRITTEN,
MANY OF GOD'S DAUGHTER HAVE DONE WELL BUT YOU EXCEL THEM ALL..
BEAUTY IS NO WAHALA AND FAVOUR,CHARM ETC IS DECEIT AND FAKE BUT YOU THAT FEARS THE LORD YOU WILL BE PRAISED ....NO SHAKING.
PROVERBS 31 WOMAN.
THE BIBLE SAYS,
HE THAT FINDS YOU,FINDS LIFE AND ANYONE THAT CAUSE OR TROUBLES YOU LOVES DEATH.
NO SHAKING,THE STRANGE GIRLS ARE PLAYING WITH FIRE.
***************
Share your thoughts in the comments section.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

TTTEC WEEK: MARITAL INFERTILITY

Alright Easier Crew, if you failed to read Marriage Regrets, please go join the conversation. Today's issue might be the toughest one of all. I have given this reader my own opinion and now it is your turn.

*********************
My wife, Emily, and I have been married for 5 years. During this time, we have been trying to have children. For years, Emily refused to see a speciallist about the problem. She always argued that she didn't want to involve anyone in the issue and stressed that God would provide our children at the right time. I am a peaceful man, and so, I agreed to let the issue be and continue doing what we could to get pregnant.

As time went on, she refused to talk to our pastor, and continued to refuse professional help. But, this year, I just couldn't take it anymore and insisted that we see one of London's best specialists while we were there for a quick trip. Well, when we went to hear the results of the tests, the doctor told us that we will never have children because my wife's womb is scarred beyond repair or something like that. I couldn't even take in what the man was saying but I know he told me that children are out of the question for us. Emily was simply quiet and said nothing to me all the way to the hotel room. Once there, she began weeping uncontrollably.

Then she got down on her knees and started begging me. I had no idea what was going on until she confessed that she had had some abortions in her younger days and that that was the reason why she could not bear children.

I was stunned and numb. I asked her when she knew of this and she told me she knew this even before she met me. Now, I have always made it clear from the beginning of our courtship that I want to be a father. I grew up in a family of 3 boys and one girl with parents that were very loving and encouraging. I have always wanted to provide the same structure for my own children. But now, this woman has cheated me of my dreams and my future! I feel like I have been 419ed into marrying someone who deliberately lied to me by making me believe that we would have children even though she knew that would be impossible. Had she not lied to me, things would be better. I have always loved Emily but this lie has shattered me to the chore.

My mother and father have refused to offer any advice on this matter other than to tell me to follow my heart and take it easy. I wonder how easy they would take it if they knew that Emily has now confessed to sleeping with anywhere between 35 to 40 men before meeting me. This, despite the fact that she once told me she had only slept with 2 men before me. I keep wondering what else I am going to find out about this woman and I cannot take it.

My older brother tells me to forgive her. But, that is easy for him to say. He has a wonderful wife that he trusts and 5 healthy children. He is the envy of everyone in the family and especially me. My older sister, on the otherhand, has expressly suggested that i get a divorce and start afresh. But, she never quite liked Emily at the beginning of our relationship and even though somedays I think she is right, I can't help but feel that she is overly biased.

I have done everything for Emily out of love and I have received deception and lies in return. I cannot figure out what to do. I don't want to adopt. Why should I adopt when I have perfectly fine sperm and my wife chose to destroy her own womb because she was loose! My father would never approve of me bringing another woman into the marriage and that would probably give my mother cause to kill me. But, I am seriously considering moving on with my life. Emily seems contrite, but can I actually believe her? Or is this just another lie on her part so as to keep me in her life.

I am very confused.
********************

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

TALK TO THE EASIER CREW WEEK: MARRIAGE REGRETS

Thanks for stopping by to read and participate in TTTEC Week. If you are yet to read Dumped on Facebook, or the other issues discussed thsi week, please do so and join in the conversation.

Now on to today's issue.

******************
My husband and I have been married for 4 years. Before marriage, he used to take me out, buy me flowers, perfume, and teddy bears. He was always so attentive and treated me like a queen. Now, he hardly looks at me and for the last 3 years, he has never bought a single gift for me.

We have a 13 month old daughter and he refuses to carry her. He has never changed her diaper and will not even stay alone with her. Thank God for our nanny and our mothers who are always willing to come take care of her when needed. In fact, when he found out we were pregnant, he did not take the news well. You see, we had agreed to wait at least 3 years before having a child, but, for some reason, God decided differently and gave us this incredible girl. She is the love of my life and brings so much joy to me. He thought I was going back on our agreement even though I did no such thing.

I have talked to my mother about this and she has encouraged me to buy lingerie and pray. I have spent the last 3 years praying and nothing has changed. My drawers are full of lingerie, to no avail. His mother was of absolutely no help when I tried to talk to her. In fact, she chastised me for complaining about her son. She asked me if her son was put on earth to change diapers or buy me gifts. I never brought up the subject or any other dissatisfaction with her again.

My sister and her husband just celebrated their 7th wedding anniversary. Her husband is so attentive and he even cried at the party when he was giving a speech about her. I just sat there close to tears and for the first time, I regretted marrying my husband. I have asked him what is wrong and what it is he wants from me and he just refuses to talk to me about it. I am at my wits end.

What can I do to stop thinking that I made a mistake marrying my husband. What can I do to make my marriage better? I cannot even remember the last time my husband touched me and now, everyone keeps asking me when are we going to have another child. If only they knew that my husband has no interest in me anymore.

Please help.
******************

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

TALK TO THE EASIER CREW WEEK: 'DUMPED' ON FACEBOOK

Thanks for coming by to read this second post from Talk To The Easier Crew Week. If you did not read the last post, To Tell The Truth or Not?, please read it and participate in the conversation.

And now for today's issue....



Solly:

I feel so horrible right now. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 8 years and became boyfriend and girlfriend in secondary school. he now lives and works in England, but comes home frequently, so I see him often. We have had a good relationship although at one point we broke up for a brief period of 7 months and during that time he dated this girl at his school, Bisi. Since then, Bisi has never neglected an opportunity to remind me that herself and Ranti were in a relationship. She is even friends with him on Facebook. Whenever she comes home, she always spreads mean rumors about me that always get back to me. And, she always finds her way to visit Ranti, and if he isn't in the country, she will go visit his siblings (Ranti's big sister was her school mother in boarding house).

Not too long ago, my best friend called me to tell me that I should go on Facebook. She refused to tell me why but I was able to find out soon enough. Ranti's status no longer said "In a Relationship" with me. I was devastated. We had talked a few days earlier, and we had an argument because he said he would not be coming home for Christmas as originally planned and he told me that I should not travel to Jand because he was going to be busy. But, there was no indication that we were breaking up. Well, I signed into Facebook using Ranti's password (yes, I have the password and have had it for a long time) and the things I saw were disgusting! First of all, she has been sending him sexy messages asking him when he will visit her room. Secondly, a look at Bisi's FB page showed that she is "In a relationship" and her status said, "Can't wait to be with you again Big R."

I am soooo angry! This ugly girl is chasing my boyfriend and Ranti has refused to talk to me. I have called him, and emailed him, but he will not answer my questions. It has been 2 weeks so far. I am so angry, I wanted to buy my ticket and go find him in London, but now, his sister told my best friend that he is coming home next week. Why did he lie to me, and tell me he wasn't coming home for xmas? Is he cheating on me with Bisi? I want to go wait for him at the airport and abuse him for the idiot he is. I am feeling very hurt and confused, because I really though that I would marry him someday. I love him and he has told me he loves me and I believed him. Please give me some advice.

Monday, December 15, 2008

TALK TO THE EASIER CREW WEEK: TO TELL THE TRUTH OR NOT?

Hey people, the second installment of Talk To The Easier Crew Week begins. this issue was addressed directly to you all, so I just copied and pasted it for your suggestions. It is a tad bit long, but worth the read. Remember as always that we are all trying to offer the best advice, so let's get to it.

Dear Easier Crew:

I have been in a relationship for 5years now, AND in the first 2 years,we never had sex. After 2 years of dating, i felt comfortable with my boyfriend. He proposed and I said yes, even though i wasn't ready for marriage then. Not too long after,he said something about having waited enough for me, he's a young man that has been having sex since age 15,cos of me he stopped at 28. He was really upset and for someone that hardly got mad at me no matter what, I soon softened. Exactly on our 2nd year anniversary, i allowed him, i was very very scared but he made me relax.

He asked if i was safe and of course i thought that meant if i had a "disease" or something, i said yes. Of course i was silly, i wasn't and as God will have it,i got pregnant. I was very disappointed in myself, told him off, told him it was all his fault but he was the perfect gentleman, he thought we should just tell our parents so we could get married anyway since we already agreed to that previously,i refused because i just couldn't stand the shame so i terminated the pregnancy and of course had to read up all about sex and pregnancy.

We remained together and soon began to have sex more frequently. But, i didn't enjoy it because I was not satisfied. I have never ever come but what i am scared of most importantly is that he comes too soon. I actually spoke casually about it to a friend of mine and after her description, it feels like i have been suffering.

Now here comes the problem. I met this guy at a friend's wedding. 3 months down the line,we were very friendly and went clubbing. Later that night, we had sex and it was my best time ever. I must have come like a zillion times and he was all about ensuring my satisfaction. We continued at this for about a week before i decided to do rain check. Now my whole perspective of sex has changed. My boyfriend is like a joke to me, and he does not know how to make me happy in bed although he makes me happy in all other areas of life. I have not been promiscuous in  my life but i have discovered i like sex, but not with my boyfriend.

I feel the honorable thing to do is explain that i cheated on him and break it off but it could go a lot of ways. I feel so guilty because he has stuck with me for 5 years. And, I do love him. I would like to tell him and have us work on it. But I once asked a long time ago what he would do if I ever cheated on him and he told me he would definitely break up with me. I am so confused.

So what do i do?

Friday, December 12, 2008

DOODOO DELIVERIES (UPDATED W/ PICS)

I have spent the week AWOL, not by any deliberate choice of my own, but out of necessity. You know how something happens to throw off your 'mojo'? Throws off your balance? Well, that 'something' happened recently and I am still suffering the after-effects.

Those of you that are my friends on Facebook saw my status comment on Thursday last week which read - "Solomon is surrounded by 2 stinking boys! I'm congested but can still smell their stench!"

Although it was funny at the time, the fact that TK had pooped in his underpants, played in his poop for almost 30 minutes, and then come up to me to tell me he had pooped on himself, was the stick that broke this mama's back! And, may I let you all know that the poop had caked all over his legs and backside. Washing it off was quite an experience. =(

Why?

Because I have been potty training TK for almost 6 months and while the serious accidents are few and far between, they can be quite demoralizing. I am trying to shed my Secret Agent Agbepo status, at least until I have to get back into character when its Bomboy's turn for potty training.

And then, Bomboy followed in his big brother's footsteps with a nasty mess.
Yes, that picture is of Bomboy's doodoo filled crib! See that diaper? His own father shouted in shock at the condition of the diaper. He had never seen a diaper look like that before, but as I am Agent Agbepo, I was more than immune from the shock. lol! The last time he 'delivered doodoo' in his crib, many of you derided me for failing to provide a picture. So, because of you all, I took that picture with my breath held for many seconds! For that I deserve a nice Xmas present. Send it to Vera's house, I'll pick it up from there. lol! And make sure the gift is a nice one, especially considering the hard work I put into washing the guy off. lol!

I hope you are all well. I will be traveling with the family over the next 2 weeks and my internet access will be random. Nevertheless, I have scheduled a whole bunch of posts for you guys. And, all next week is the second installment of Talk To The Easier Crew Week. It will be 5 days of readers airing their issues in search of meaningful suggestions. The following week will feature a post about a hilarious 'situation' on December 22nd and of course, a jolly post on the 25th celebrating Christmas Day!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

THESE YOUNG GIRLS OF NOWADAYS!

How many times did you hear your mom or your grandmother or some lady in your area say those very words when you were younger? Well, my people, I have become one of those women! Yes, I have become that woman who puts her hand on her hip, drops her head to one side, acquires a worrying frown on her face and watches some young girls, thinking, "These young girls of nowadays!"

So, what exactly am I going on about, eh?

Well, the other day, the kids and I went to a neighborhood store to get a new broom and some candy. I somehow veered into the cosmetics aisle and was busy looking at the ingredients in some hand creme product when all of a sudden, I heard "Bebe! Bebe!"

I looked up from the ingredients list and saw this little girl happily coming down the aisle. She wore a brown shirt with a matching brown puffer jacket, a pair of jeans and she had cute ribbons in her hair. As she said "Bebe! Bebe", I noticed her eyes were on Bomboy, and nobody else. I jejely put the hand creme down, and prepared myself for some entertainment. However, I had no idea that the girl was a baby flirting pro!

The girl walked right up to my son and gave him a long kiss ON HIS LIPS!!!!!

????????

I was not ready for that and started blinking my eyes rapidly to clear them of anything that would cause me to see daytime apparitions or the like. May I remind you all that Bomboy, my youngest child, is all of 19 months old and has no business kissing or being kissed by some young girl. Granted, this 'fast' young girl was just about his age.

Well, clearly TK was thinking the same thing I was thinking because he shouted, "Hey, don't kish my bu-ruthaaah!"

The girl immediately took a step away from Bomboy and looked at TK questioningly. She then dipped her hand into one of her pockets, brought out a cookie and offered it to him. Una sabi TK nah! Im sabi chop, nothing like food bribery to win over a guy like him. Thus, TK forgot that he was supposed to 'block' this girl from his brother and instead took the cookie from her and stuffed it in his mouth. lol!

I rolled my eyes in exasperation! This little girl knew what she was doing, disarming all opposition with speed and alacrity! I decided to put TE on the case and tapped her on the shoulder. TE, who was busy looking at some lipstick (yes, ever since her Grananana put lipstick on her lips over the summer, the girl believes that she will get some of her own!). I told her, "TE, abeg, go bring those boys over here."

TE looked the little girl up and down, walked over to her brothers and in a commanding voice said, "BOYS! Time to go!"

TK looked at the girl, told her thanks, while Bomboy,his head swelling from the serious attention lingered for a little while. I just shouted, "My friend, come over here!" and he told the little girl "Buh bye!"

I have not been able to get over that incident. How is it that a little girl, she could not have been more than 2 years old, knew to not only kiss Bomboy on the lips, but bribe his older and 'sensible' brother with a cookie? These are tricks that Senior Babes use to disarm their opposition and potential critiques. Now, that I think about it, I should have asked that little girl for tips. But, you know say she no sabi talk English. Na baby talk she sabi. Imagine me trying to get tips from a babe who only knows how to say "dab daba daba, be dada, ta da?"

These young girls of nowadays!

Monday, December 1, 2008

I BELIEVE IN GOD; WORLD AIDS DAY

Over the weekend, I got a slew of emails from various bloggers. The topic of discussion was the "I believe in God" post that was organized to give bloggers a unifying event.

Upon further 'investigation', I discovered that the organizers planned this 'blog-event" as a response to the recent "No God" advertising campaign in the U.K. and U.S. by the British Humanist Association and the American Humanist Association, respectively.

Now, my understanding of Humanist theory is that Humanists believe in being good people not because there is a God or consequences after death. Basically, they do not need "God" to be good people and hence, their controversial ad campaign right here in my neck of the woods - Washington, D.C.
believe
As many readers know, I am a Christian. What most of you do not know is that I have seen the power of faith and prayer, not just in my life but in the lives of those around me. Those experiences have reinforced for me the existence of a God who I do not necessarily understand, but place my trust in.

Despite that, I completely understand why some people would not believe that there is a God and frankly, do not begrudge them their opinion. I have had the good fortune to have passionate debates with Atheists (never any Humanists, however) and the one thing I have always taken away was that God gave us the power of reason and the ability to think critically. As such, every human has the right to question God's existence, in my humble opinion. Their attitude towards God does not threaten my faith.

So, why am I participating in the "I Believe in God" blog-event?

Well, the answer is simple. I believe in God. And, when next will I have an opportunity to join my fellow bloggers in making such a declaration? Besides, today is World's AIDS Day, and as I look at my healthy happy children, I recognize that many other children all over the world are afflicted by HIV/AIDS through no fault of theirs. I thank the God that I believe in for the many mercies upon my family and believe that the cure for AIDS is on the horizon. We all just have to keep ourselves safe and work together, Humanist/Atheist or not, to find a cure.
Swing back tomorrow, for my Senior Babe Network message to the young girls that are 'chasing' my 19 month old and 3 year old boys. These young baby girls need an intervention, already!