Friday, October 31, 2008

TALK TO THE EASIER CREW: AGE DIFFERENCE

Check out the post below.

Today's issue was supposed to be up last Friday, but I had to change up the schedule slightly. This one na helele! I have laughed so hard about this but when you really think about it, it is indeed a serious issue for some people. Anyway, please take the time to offer your suggestions in this situation.

SSD:

I have a serious problem. My twin brother and I are 23 years old. We have done so many things together and I thank God for giving me a brother for a best friend.

But, I have a dilemma that involves my twin, Taiye. Taiye has been dating Rebeca. Rebeca is a nice girl, but I do not believe that she is right for him. They met while he worked last year at some accounting firm. She is a secretary there. Rebecca is a white girl originally from a some small English village and I can never understand what she says. May I mention that she is 47 years old with 5 children! Her oldest son is even older than Taiye and myself!!!! My brother kept telling me that they were just friends, but now I know for a fact that they are sleeping with each other. And just so you know, I walked in on them in our apartment.

I do not like this at all. Why is he sleeping with such an old woman? She has bad teeth and horrible skin. I can't stand her. She is in our flat all the time. She even left her kpata[1] in the bathroom. So disgusting!!!! I want to tell our mother but it would probably kill her. She made us swear that we would never date any English women and the knowledge that this woman is almost her age would be devastating. But, that is the only way to stop this nonsense. I think he really likes her, but this has been going on for at least 5 months and I don't want her to try and trap my brother. I also no longer want her in my house, eating my food. She is so fat. Should i talk to my brother first? I don't know if my advice can pass the thing that that woman is giving him.

Women that old should not be sleeping with young boys! Help!!!!!

[1] kpata - underwear

I personally think that love should know no boundaries. But as i was asked to share this with you guys, I will leave my comments out of this.


**shaking my head and laughing as I hit "publish post"**

And, make una help me thank God oh. My baby, The King is 3 today!!!! Will update witha proper post on him tomorrow. I am off to sleep! Mommy loves you King!!!!!

FREE JONATHAN ELENDU NOW!

ELENDU'S STORY
On Saturday, October 18th, Nigerian political blogger, Jonathan Elendu was arrested upon arrival at a Nigerian airport. He was arrested and detained by the State Security Service (SSS), which according to the US State Department, reports directly to Nigeria's President. Elendu was detained by the SSS, without charge, and reportedly tortured and forced to starve for fear of poisoning. He was eventually handed over to an anti-corruption agency, the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), but still, he was not charged in a court of law. Although Nigerian law requires every detainee to be charged within 48 hours of arrest, Jonathan Elendu was held for a period of 11 days without contact with a lawyer or his family. Until, Wednesday, October 29th, when word was received that Elendu was no longer under arrest and was receiving medical care. As of right now, Jonathan Elendu is no longer under arrest, but as his passport is still in the custody of the Federal Government of Nigeria, he is not free to return to his wife and child who live in the US.

WHY THE CONTINUED ATTENTION?
So, you are probably wondering why an online rally for a guy who is no longer in detention. Well the clues to that question lie above, but I will spotlight them for argument's sake. Consider the following factors,
  1. arrested upon arrival
  2. detention for 11 days
  3. Nigerian law requires charges within 48 hours of arrest
  4. no legal counsel
  5. torture
  6. hunger strike (for fear of poisoning)
  7. released but not given travel documents
Then, remember that in the last couple of months, foreign journalists have been arrested by the SSS and deported, a local Nigerian station was shut down, its license withdrawn and its staff arrested for legally broadcasting incorrect information about President Yar'Adua. And, keep in mind, that not too long ago, the President's party accused oposition parties of treason, in what I deemed an attempt to suppress the opposition and those with ideas contrary to the administration and its supporters.

I am disappointed in what I see as a dangerous direction for Nigeria and its citizens. The arrest and unlawful detention of Jonathan Elendu is just another piece of a puzzle that spells trouble for Nigeria's path towards entrenched democracy. To simply detain, torture and maltreat another human being is unacceptable, no matter where or why, particularly as that person, in this case, Jonathan Elendu, had not been charged or convicted of any crime. How can we as a people simply turn a blind eye to such action? I understand that we are all busy with the realities of our life, but I hope that Nigerians and people the world over will begin to pay closer attention to the importance of protecting human rights regardless of who, where or why because if not, someday it could be you being persecuted for no concrete reason. For this reason, I, and hopefully the many others that are taking the time to think about Elendu's situation today, encourage the Nigerian government to commit itself to the better treatment of all Nigerians. The government can begin this by returning Elendu's passport to him so he can return to his family. They can always charge him for whatever crimes they believe he has committed and have him returned to face justice, if necessary. To withhold his passport only suggests that the government has nothing to charge him with but instead wishes to use him as another example to discourage opponents and those who might choose to question the actions of the administration and its associates.

THE CONTRADICTIONS
The curious thing about this situation is that it suggests that Nigeria is a dictatorship, when in actuality, for the past 9 years, Nigeria has been a democratic nation. Yes, the term democracy clearly has a unique meaning with regard to Nigeria, but that doesn't change the fact that Nigeria claims to be a democracy and i hope, is working towards the entrenchment of democratic principles. President Yar'Adua has always publicly committed himself to a 'Rule of Law' mantra and has publicly claimed to be a "servant leader" that is focused on providing,
"a purposeful and result-oriented administration that will yield tangible and visible benefits for all Nigerians"
I find this contradiction - for a "servant leader" to resort to draconian measures as payback - very disturbing. Yes, Elendu blogs about corruption and power in Nigeria and yes, some online websites have shared pictures of Yar'Adua's son and/or shared potentially sensitive information about the President or others in power, but it is the role of Yar'Adua as the President of Nigeria to not infringe upon the rights of the very citizens he is charged with protecting and serving. Elendu should never have been arrested. He should have been visited by security forces while in the country and questioned, if that was necessary. Bustling him to a detention center, holding him for almost 2 weeks, depriving him of legal counsel and failing to charge him in a court of law is clearly unconstitutional and violates basic human rights as determined by the UN Human Rights Treaty which Nigeria ratified in 1967.


DOING THE RIGHT THING
I must stress that this act of encouraging better behavior and choices from the Nigerian government is not to be seen as an attack on the President and those who work with him. Every Nigerian citizen has a duty to do what they can to improve the nation. That duty can be expressed in any number of ways. By expressing my disappointment in the choice of the administration with regard to Elendu and encouraging alternative measures, I simply hope to remind everyone, regardless of their nationality, that we must treat each other well. I believe that I, and many others, have a right to free speech. Ultimately, we cannot ignore the fact that every human being deserves to be treated as such and nothing less.

So, I and many others choose to speak up and encourage the return of Elendu's travel documents and his safe return to his family. Until then, he is not truly free and a citizen's freedom is the most important right that every human being deserves.


I hope you will join us, because we cannot make a difference without you.

http://www.usafricaonline.com/jonathan.elendu.jpg



Please read:
- Chukbyke's "FREE ELENDU NOW"
- Waffarian's "FREE JONATHAN ELENDU NOW!!!"
- Akin's "Free Jonathan Elendu Now!"
- Ugo's "FREE JONATHAN ELENDU NOW"

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Monday, October 27, 2008

BIRTHDAY PARTIES AND STUFF

I got interviewed by Standtall. Check it out here.

Life can get so busy, sometimes.

In the last few weeks, I have taken an impromptu vacation without the kids and my hubby. I have helped 'host' an engagement party for a dear friend (which went exceptionally well, thank goodness). I have found time to teach my children many words as part of our daily learning exercises and in fact, little Officer Bomboy now thinks he can spell 'Bus' (he is just too cute when he tries, lol!). Oh, check out some words from the little kitchen board below.













I have managed to do this and plenty more, without much sleep and I am beginning to suffer the consequences.

Oh well! Time waits for no man or, in this case, mommy, so I will have to suffer a busy schedule for at least one more week.

You see, The King's birthday is on Friday and he turns 3!!! I am so excited. I cannot believe my baby is growing up. He has given up on randomly peeing all over his room and even knows how to stand and pee at the toilet! He can say his alphabet and with much encouragement, can spell 'Stop' and a few other words. I plan on having his birthday party on Saturday and hope he will have fun.

But, herein lies my dilemma. Saturday, November 1st, is actually my birthday. Yes, on that day, I will be a year older and wiser and hopefully a little less sleep deprived. On that day, I would love to have TK's birthday party in the late afternoon and early evening, and then go out with my friends for a few drinks, and lots of laughter. However, the way I've been going without sleep for the past couple of weeks, all I want to do on my birthday is crawl under the covers and pass out into a deep, uninterrupted sleep! The thought of cleaning up the house and then cleaning myself up, putting on a birthday dress (yes, I would want to wear a party dress, I even know which one) is utterly exhausting right now!

It is so sad that I will technically never have my birthday the way I used to again. I will always either celebrate TK's birthday on his birthday or on mine and/or will be too tired to think about having a party or anything of the sort for myself. lol! That is the joy of motherhood! Or at least until TK is old enough for me to not have to throw him a birthday party.

Ah, so what do I do this weekend? Should I sleep? Should I go out for drinks?

You know what, why don't you tell me what you think. Maybe I can get some energy from you guys.



And, if you vote that I should not have any enjoyment and/or 'jollification' for myself, make sure you identify yourself and explain, oh! I can even imagine the people that will make such comments sef. lol!

Stop by on Friday when I will announce the most popular decision and also put up another TTTEC instalment. Sorry I had to postpone last Friday's issue, but given the fact that a Nigerian blogger was arrested in Nigeria, I thought it important to ask for your prayers for him and his family. Thanks to all of you who obliged. He is still under arrest, but I hope he will be released unharmed very soon. God bless and have a fantastic week!

Friday, October 24, 2008

TALK TO THE EASIER CREW: JONATHAN ELENDU

For this week's TTTEC segment, but given that a fellow blogger, Jonathan Elendu, is now in SSS detention, I thought I would take a quick second to ask you all to say a prayer for the guy and his family.

Hope all is well with you guys and I'll see you all on Monday.

God bless.

Monday, October 20, 2008

TK'S LOVE CONNECTION

My son, TK, likes women. There is no doubt. He has always tried to "holler" at older women, never girls his age. I remember when he was barely one year old at a restaurant and he kept reaching out to this lady who was there with her boyfriend. Thankfully, the guy did not take mys on as a threat, because his girlfriend spent their entire meal playing with TK!

Young girls have no chance with him. In fact, he has a little friend that is always chasing him around for a kiss. He typically allows her to chase his and will politely receive the kiss like a gentleman, but he has no 'interest' in her, whatsoever. I guess she is a little too young for him. Oh, and did I mention that he is only 2 weeks from turning 3?
http://www.worldofstock.com/slides/PCH6496.jpg
Well, on Saturday night, Husband, the kids and I went to a friend's party. It was chock full of old friends, Indian food, drinks, happy kids and serious gambling tables for craps and blackjack. Everyone had a good time, but no one enjoyed themselves more than TK who fell in love with a beautiful 10 year old girl called Isabela.


I could not believe it. TK was in love!!!! My son followed her everywhere and would not let her out of his sight. He held her hand, played with her hair and literally 'protected' her from the other boys there (the other boys were all 2 years old as well, lol!). When it came time for her to leave with her family, my son threw on his coat and dutifully walked her to the door. Well, actually, he was trying to follow her home and would have, if another friend hadn't grabbed him for me.


Since that night, the boy has been asking for his "friend". Na wa oh! See love connection. I have to find some way to let my little boy know that he should leave them older girls and women alone. He isn't even 3 for Christ's sake! I don't know what I will do when he gets old enough to truly 'fall' for a girl and start doing stupid things. Please God help me! I feel that I would rather have him keep slapping voluptuous backsides in stores, instead of this love-sick thing. Oh, I didn't tell you he likes to hit womens backsides? The boy is a little truant, I tell you, but I am working on him. lol!


Anyway, how are you guys doing? Thanks for your help to our friend from the last TTTEC question. She has decided to not take the 'pole dancing' class. I encouraged her to ditch her boyfriend Akin, but unfortunately, she has chosen not to. See you on Friday for another TTTEC installment. If you aren't sure what that is, take a look in the right sidebar for a list of past issues. Catch up and prepare yourself for the latest one.


God bless!
PS: When will 9ice come out with a video for 'Photocopy'? I have been reminded that if he is yet to come out with a video for 'Gongo Aso', then I will be waiting for a long time. Kai!

UPDATE: Did you know that an American-based Nigerian blogger was arrested in Abuja? Na wa oh!

Friday, October 17, 2008

TALK TO THE EASIER CREW: POLE DANCING

Easier Crew, how una dey?

Okay, today's issue is not that complicated, but the wahala it has created is incredible.


Solly,

My friend Sola and I were recently joking about taking a pole dancing class after watching something on the news about how women are taking these classes to get their bodies in shape. We live in Atlanta which is technicall, the Stripper Capital of the World!

Anyway, we were on the phone with each other and we were watching various clips from YouTube that showed women dancing on poles when all of a sudden, my boyfriend, Akin, walked in. Well, he saw what I was watching and for no explainable reason, he started shouting at me. He called me an ashewo[1] and was complaining that only loose women did things like strip. I explained that I was not trying to strip but that I wanted to take a pole dancing class. He then told me he could never be in a relationship with or marry a prostitute, he then stormed out of my apartment.

We have not spoken on the phone in 2 weeks. We have sent text messages and emails back and forth and each time, he has managed to hurt my feelings and insult me even further. We have been dating for 8 months and I really love him, but I do not think I can take the insults anymore. And, now, he told my younger brother that I want to be a stripper. My brother and his big mouth told my sister who then told my mother and now, my entire family thinks I want to become a stripper.


All I wanted to do was take a pole dancing class. I don't understand why that is such a bad thing! My friend Nnenna said I should just apologize to everyone and get it over with, but I wonder if that is the right thing to do. This has been blown out of proportion and I do not think I am a bad person. What should I do?

********************


Alright folks, I don't think this issue is too complicated, but I leave it to you all to offer your advice, suggestions and recommendations.

Make una begin yarn and go check out pictures of Colin Powell dancing to 'Yahooze'.

[1] Ashewo - Yoruba/Pigin English term for a 'loose' woman or prostitute.

Monday, October 13, 2008

CONSPIRE AGAINST MOMMY!

Na wa oh!!!! Have you ever 'reported' your own mother? Or conspired against her? Before I even begin, thanks to all of you for stopping by to take a look at the first instalment of Images From My Life, Friday. TE was excited to see her wide grin on the computer. She's such a diva!!!!

Alright, back to the subject at hand. The last few weeks, TE, TK and Bomboy have been getting brave. For instance, the older two will sometimes 'talk back' to me, particularly in public. After a few of these mistakes, and the swift punishment I doled out at home and in public, the kids learned their lesson and now refrain from getting 'smart' with me.

Bomboy, as usual, is still up to his usual Bomboyisms!!! In his case, he has chosen to chastise me strongly when I discipline him. Specifically, he points a finger at me, actually, sticks his entire arm at me, and begins to say "Nuh! Nuh!" and then he shakes his head vigorously. Its actually quite funny, being rebuked by an 18 month old baby. But, most times I am not in the mood and threaten him with a dangerous 'mommy will get you stare' that sends him running for cover. That works just fine.

Unfortunately, my kids are quick at adapting. And by "unfortunately", I mean unfortunately for me. lol!

These children have shown me serious pepper oh, my people! They have consppired to 'report' me to as many people as possible. God help me. The other day at the supermarket, my jolly children spent their time saying "Hi" to every passerby. One particular old white lady actually stopped to coo at Bomboy, who was giving her his flirtatious eyes andshowing off his dimples. In a bid for attention, TE said to the lady,

"Do you know what my mommy did?"

The lady beamed at her and asked, "Why? What did she do, dear?"

TE, my lovely daughter, looked at me witha  cheeky look and proclaimed, "My mommy beats us!"

Now, did I mention that TE said this very loud? Also, did I mention she said this to an old, white lady? Now, I don't have anything against old white ladies, but this woman looked practically saintlike, like she could be Santa Caus's wife if she wore the right getup. Ah, my heart stopped and I couldn't help but wonder if the woman was thinking I was a 'bad' mom that 'abuses' her children. I stayed calm and just told the kids, "Comeon, guys, let's let the good lady get back to her business." As I walked away, I smiled at the lady and I could have sworn that she gave me a funny look. I finished my shopping and went home. Thankfully, Child Protection Services were not waiting for me when I got there.

After a harsh lecture with my musketeers, I though that would be the end of it. But, I was wrong. Last week, when their father walked in from work, TE sold me out. When asked by her father how her day was, she replied,

"Mommy didn't take us anywhere, daddy. That is unnacceptable!"

And, she wasn't the only tatafo[1]. Bomboy was also in rare form. Husband asked him, "Did you have a good day, Bomboy?" and the child shook his head, and uttered "Nnnnuh!!!"

And, that wasn't the end of it. The other day, Husband and I had some friends come over. They are a nice white couple with a young son of their own. As we all laughed and had a great time, TK got into some trouble and after I disciplined him, he frowned, looked at me and screamed,

"Mommy! Stop beating me!!! You are always beating me!"

Haba! See me see trouble? Na Wetin? These kids are trying to set me up and make me look like a bad mom. Its a consporacy! What should I do?


I hope everyone is well. Stop by on Friday for an interesting discussion on, um, 'poles'. lol!

[1] Tatafo - loud mouth

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

EYES IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD

Do you remember being a kid and somehow your mom could always tell what you were doing, no matter where she was in the house? I remember being younger and the minute I was about to do something even remotely naughty, my mother would shout "Eh, move away from there," or "What are you doing?" How did she ever know what I was about to do? The mystery puzzled me for decades.

But, not any longer.

I have become that mother that can instinctively tell when her children are up to no good.

You can call it 6th sense. My girlfriend recently joked that I was a "winchy winchy" but I am telling you, my ability to 'catch" these children is "hella good!"

Case in point, yesterday, TK and Bomboy were in the playroom doing what they usually do - destroy toys, fight each other and then somehow kiss and make up. Anyway, I left them to go check on a pot of chicken stew. As I turned the pot, I noticed the usual sounds from the playroom but then all of a sudden, things became very quiet. I crooked my neck so my ears could pick up some sound, but nothing, nada, zip!!!!

I put my cooking spoon down, and tip toed over to the top of the stairs to listen better. I could hear them, but they were trying to move like stealth soldiers, and I knew something was up. I didn't even bother to go downstairs, I just shouted,

"wo, tim ba mu e bai!!!" ( "If I catch you...")

Mehhhnnnn, you won't believe what happened next. With serious and exact speed and alacrity those boys just scattered! I heard their father's putter (which I have hidden a thousand and one times) fall to the ground. That had to be Bomboy, because everyone elese knows that the putter is off limits. I also heard a small body jump out of the computer chair. That had to be TK because he fancies himself a typist of some sort.

I returned to my stew. Added a few more ingredients and came downstairs. The evidence of a crime confirmed my detective inclinations. The putter was lying on the floor and Bomboy had put himself as far away from it, as possible. The computer screen showed an advert that I would never have clicked on and unfortunately, my computer developed a nice little virus that I spent the entire Monday trying to get out of the computer's system (hence the delayed post).

Now, if only I could simply read their minds far before they do anything naughty. That would be an incredible skill, right? Actually, I'm not so sure. Sometimes, the things Bomboy says in gibberish sound like straight up insults. I don't think I would like the translated version which is what I would get if  could read his mind. I will just be thankful for the eyes at the back of my head skills. Thats all I need for now. lol!

By the way, I saw Uncle Tobenna's wedding site and would just like to say, him and his wifey are simply the CUTEST COUPLE!!!! My girlfriend knows a friend of his and that babe sabi put 2 and 2 together, sha. I cannot lie! Sorry, I will not divulge Uncle Tobenna's secrets,  but if you would like to know his website's address, please wire $2 million to my Carribean bank account. Em, no, I'm not taking dollars, let's make that pounds. For wiring instructions and additional information about my off shore account, shoot me an email so we may complete the transaction. hahahahaha.

Aunty Verastical!!!! Here are the drawers!!!! lol! For those that don't know, Vera did a post about boyshorts, that compelled me to go buy a few. Well, a little more than a few. I like boyshorts and bought a few more this weekend. Anyway, here is a pic of my boyshorts and matching top which was my Independence day outfit, of sorts. Enjoy!!!!
See you guys on Friday. It won't be a TTTEC installment however. After dealing with the last issue, I feel a little depleted and so, I will provide an Image From My Life. I figure we could all do with some laughter, so this friday, swing by to see a funny picture from my life. By the way, Wunmi has not yet decided whether she will go through with an abortion. But, after chatting with her on Saturday, she is definitely taking a little more time to consider her options. I'll keep you updated once she gives me permission to do so.

God bless!!!


Ah, I just remembered what I was supposed to blog about. It is sooo funny. These children embarassed me again oh!!!! Well, we'll save it for Monday's post. =)