Monday, May 26, 2008

ENJOY!



A few bloggers are playing the 'Finding N.I.M.M.O.' game. For those of you who don't know, N.I.M.M.O. is a fellow blogger who went off the grid about a month ago. The rules of the game are simple, find the funniest pic or clip and tell everyone who NIMMO is. this way, we won't miss him much longer. lol! So, here is my contribution to the game. A Black James Bond and GNaija, na una turn, now. BTW, the artist is Longombas and is a Kenyan. Tune in tomorrow for the Senior Babe Network PSA...

Saturday, May 24, 2008

14TH & SERENITY...



EPISODE ONE IS NOW AVAILABLE AT 14TH & SERENITY...
GO READ IT AND COME BACK TOMORROW FOR THE SENIOR BABE NETWORK ANNOUNCEMENT.

Monday, May 19, 2008

THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING KOBOKO PT. 2

My people, I finally found the wife leader. It was expertly hidden in the kids bathroom in the closet under their sink. Now, that just happens to be TE's favorite hiding place. Is it just me, or did nobody suggest TE as the potential culprit? Mehn, na wa for you so-called sleuths oh! Only one person got it partially right - Jarrai! Jarrai immediately pointed to The Enforcer as the culprit. Her only mistake was that she implicated Husband in the scheme. =) Nevertheless, let's all give Jarrai a loud handclap for coming the closest to solving the mystery. Oya, kpa, kpa, kpa, kpa, kpa, kpa! hahahaa.

Anyway, I found the wife leader while the kids were having a bubble bath on Saturday night. When I brought it out, all the kids looked at me startled. They all looked guilty. If only I had a camera at the time... I spanked every single one of them on the hand for making me look for the wife leader. But, they especially got spanked because I took the advice of some of you people and accused my husband. lol! Serves me right for listening to some of you! In fact, so many of you got a big, red 'F' on this assignment i.e. Aijay, Smaragd, Jaycee, Afrobabe, Soupasexy, TinTin, Sting, Toluwa Lase, Believer, Olamild, Nigerian Drama Queen, Marin, the IceQueen (who even called my poor husband a "suspect", you go wound oh!), Uzo, Shalewa, Naija chic, Anonymous gal, A Black James Bond! My husband did not take too kindly to being falsely accused. When I told him I found the thing, the man demanded an apology. And an apology he got. =) Ask me no questions, and I will tell you no lies...

Nevertheless, all of you imitation investigators that got an 'F' must now line up to get your own taste of the wife leader. lol! Yes, you guys put me in trouble with my husband and must now face punishment! In fact, just kneel down, or 'pick pin'. Even better yet, 'drive mercedes'. I know the boarding school people know what I am talking about. Nigerians have some very unique forms of corporal punishment at Nigerian boarding schools, my goodness! And imagine that some of you were even claiming Agatha Christie and Hercule Poirot skills. Nonsense and ingredients!

And as for all of you that accused Ms. Catwalq's husband, The King, watch your backs, oh! The babe is out to get you all. heehee. And, Tininu's CSI-analysis of the situation was priceless! Jaycee also provided a seriously thorough analysis. All that book wey una sabi plus long tory, and you guys still got it WRONG! lol!

Just so you know, I will be creating Easier Offender Week. I'm trying to figure out the details but it will definitely include prizes. More information to come. Oh, and remember how I raved about that K Dogg song, "No Yaka Yaka"? You can listen to it right here on this site. It is in the left side bar, just scroll down a little and take a listen. Let me know what you think.

Additionally, I have created a poll to figure out what the next post should be. Should it be a PSA (public service announcement) from the Senior Babe Network - a much needed message to the ladies out there about something I have recently discovered, or a hilarious post about toilet paper and how it reflects the problems between men and women, at least in my house.
You get to choose!

Have a great week, people. God bless!

Monday, May 12, 2008

THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING KOBOKO

Happy Monday, my people. How are you all? I hope all is well.

Well, as the title indicates, there is an ongoing mystery in my humble abode. I am making a special call to all of you who specialized in reading 'Hardy Boys', 'Nancy Drew', 'Secret Seven' and other sleuth books. Please read this post very carefully because your skills are now needed to solve an ongoing mystery.

Remember my post about the 'wife leader'? You know, the one I use to discipline The King? Well, my 'wife leader' has gone missing. It's been missing for the last week and I am becoming nervous because although the 'wife leader' substituted for a koboko when necessary, it was extremely effective as a psychological tool to get TK and TE to behave whenever they got naughty.

As you all know from reading the 'Disciplining The King' post, the wife leader had its own dedicated resting place atop TK's bedroom door.
Well, here's what it looks like now!
Can you believe it??????

So, here is what I need you guys to help me do, particularly all the sleuth-inclined readers. Solve the mystery, figure out WHERE IS THE WIFE LEADER?

The suspects are as follows:
  1. HUSBAND: He has unequivocally denied touching the thing and even claims to not know that it was ever located atop the door. I am not sure if I believe him because, quite frankly, at over 6 feet, he is the only person that could have reached the wife leader...
  2. THE ENFORCER: That girl is capable of using the 'koboko' to wollop her brothers. I hear her in the morning barking orders at them. But, I think that if she had seen it fall to the ground, she would have told me.
  3. THE KING: Being that he has been the main reason why the wife leader emerged in the first place, I can imagine him slamming his bedroom door enough times until the poor wife leader dropped right in front of his door. Furthermore, I can see him picking it up and hiding it in one of his numerous hiding places. If that is the case, I will probably never find my wife leader again. **sniff, sniff**
  4. OFFICER BOMBOY: His dimpled smile and bright eyes have fooled many an unsuspecting aunty or uncle, but not me. Oh no! I know he is capable of finding the wife leader on the floor and playing with it without informing me. The only puzzle is where he would hide it. Bomboy isn't that skilled at hiding things like his older siblings, but I still would never put anything past him.
  5. SOLOMONSYDELLE: It wouldn't be a proper mystery investigation if every angle wasn't analyzed. So, for that reason I will volunteer myself to be added to the suspect list. But, I can assure you all that I had absolutely nothing to do with the disappearance of the wife leader. I am desperately seeking the return of my trusty obedience enforcement device. Hence, my request for all your help!
So, any takers? No, really, any takers? Please help!!!!

PS, did you visit Nigerian Curiosity to join in the Mother's Day (US/Canada) celebration? And, just in case you were wondering, I had an excellent Mother's Day! I woke up to a large diaper box filled with my favorite spicy chips, which was later followed by an incredible lunch (and I do mean incredible) at Eastern Moon (a new neighborhood restaurant) and the day ended with my real present - a new Belgian waffle maker (which replaces my old one that died recently)!

This weekend is Godmother's Day and I am waiting to hear where my children's godmother's will decide to go to. Abeg, let's pray they don't carry me to some place that charges $100 per plate because that will mean a large bill for me to pay. lol!

Anyway, don't forget, your help is needed to solve the mystery...

Saturday, May 10, 2008

MOTHER'S DAY, GODMOTHER'S DAY...

We are celebrating Mother's Day (US/Canada) at Nigerian Curiosity with a song tribute from Asa (pronounced Asha). Come on by and join us...

Next weekend is Godmother's Day. Yes, I know no such 'holiday' officially exists but because my kids have some of the greatest godmommies in the world, I created their own special day when I simply take them out to have a great time. Godmother's Day falls on the first Saturday after Mother's Day and is simply a day to show the godmothers of my children some appreciation for their constant support and love. Last year, we went out for brunch. Not sure what the plan is this year, but they get to chose and I get to pay. lol!

Anyway, have a wonderful weekend and stop by on Monday for the latest. I promise it will be a delicious mystery. Just wait and see...

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

WHY, OH WHY, CAN'T I BE 'MEME' FREE?

My people, how una dey? Na struggle wey I struggle take post today oh! Sorry that my post is late, but the new spring season has brought much activity to my humble abode and thus, blogging has become a little difficult.

But, it appears that blogville is 'on a roll' with all these 'meme's all over the place! na wa for una oh! I never tell una say the ...Easier... blog is now a 'meme' free space? Eh? Jaycee, La Reine, NaijaLines, Standtall, Shalewa, Traycee, LadyGuide (wey dey shakara for person sotey e don change im name to become LG)...na so una dey come my place just dey threaten me with "tag", "tagged" and even "tag, "you're it".

Abi una won give me high blood pressure? God forbid bad thing! I rebuke it in the Lord's mighty name. Can I gerra Amen, people?

Yes, after the last meme I did, I swore that I would never do another one. The thing was way too much work! You guys remember now, the "8 weird things about moi" meme. It was very well received oh, thanks to you guys, but the thing na work oh! Bloggers were using the meme to show off language skills, GNaija used her own to blast us with her Portuguese and me na Japanese wey I throw back, wetin! Me sef I sabi book. lol! =)

So, all this long tory to tell una say, 'meme' dey make me fear!!!!

I go begin my blog rounds today to support all you 'meme' people, and if e be like say this new 'meme' dey easy for those of us with 3 boisterous kids, numerous blogs (yes, people, I have hidden sites that require regular work. I am a busy bee) and are WAY behind on phone calls (Aunty Vicky, abeg no vex, I go phone you, Nogo, no vex, but how you send me all that load via Skype? Aunty Catwalq, a ma soro, Fabulous chick, sorry I couldn't make it to dinner, but Godmother's day is coming so we'll see each other...), I will cave into the demands for a new meme on Friday.

Until then, I don create my own special meme, yes oh! As e be like say meme na big business...

5 ways you know you don't need to have more children...

You know you have enough kids when -
  1. You constantly mix up their names: My people, I call Bomboy by TK's name all the time. I can't keep all these kids straight. =) TE just rolls her eyes and says, "No, mom, his name is Bomboy not TK." See me see wahala! I even called Husband TK once. hahaha, that one na long tory.
  2. It takes you 10 or more minutes to remember their birthdays and tell someone when asked: This happens to me every time. No fail! Very embarrassing because all these moms can recite the stuff like national anthem in 60 seconds flat. =( I swear, some mothers are way too competitive. But watch, if it comes to eating Indomie Noodles, any of my children, including Bomboy, who is only 1, would out eat any of their children, anyday!
  3. Using the toilet in peace requires a Presidential order: Yup! my children must follow me to the bathroom and ask me "Mommy, are you using the potty?" Or, TK will simply scream, "Mommy do a stinky doodoo! Stinky chicken doodoo!" And it doesn't matter if I am only peeing, the gang starts singing the "stinky chicken doodoo" song. With all my kids dancing in the bathroom. Don't ask...
  4. Instead of getting the GL450, your spread sheet tells you that to ensure that you can send your babies to college and post graduate school, you have to become part of the Toyota Nation!: Hahaha. No, buahahahaha! I shouldn't be laughing about this one, but with 3 pickin, we no fit 'floss' the moto wey we like, but, we can still take nice vacations sha. And my children can go to whatever school they want. This isn't about too many kids - its about responsible parenting. BE ABOUT IT. Abeg make una thank Husband for getting a larger kidsmobile and no, its not a family van. lol!
  5. And talking about family vans, you know you have plenty pickin when considering the soaring price of oil, You take a good minute to think about buying yourself a family van: My people, I only took one minute oh! lol! Fine babe like me, I cannot be driving family van o! Lai lai! We just for continue to manage de first moto if na dat one! Nothing wrong with driving a family van oh, some of those things are luxurious, no lie. But for this Senior Babe, I no fit. Na my 4x4 wey I dey drive now and that is just how it will stay. kai! lol!
And in more random information, at the park the other day, this woman and I were talking and she recommended that I get the children a pet. I told her that my hands were quite full already. She then told me, "Oh, it doesn't have to be a dog, you can always get them a mouse."

The way I laughed, eh. Because she was a grown woman with children older than me, I didn't want to spoil things. I be one tell am say, e no know say I already get Mice or pet for my house? I for just direct am to my 'Of Mice And My Man' post. mmmssschewww. Mouse ko, cockroach ni. God bless the woman, but there will be no pets in this house until TE is old enough to take care of them and ensure that her brothers do their bit.

Okay, people, I hope I have appeased the blog 'gods' and 'meme' gods with this post. Stop by Nigerian Curiosity as the topic is going to be 'Money Rituals'. I really want to know what people are thinking when they do these things. So, if you can comment, stop on by.

God bless you all!

PS. Tobena, wissai you dey? Na TinTin wey dey teach boys how to do bad things oh....lol! And people, have you guys heard the song "No Yaka Yaka" by K Dogg? OMG!!! This is my jam for real. You cannot reach my house and not dance to it as that is now the price of admission. Big shout out to DJ Mighty Mike who provided a free download to his 'Heavy Something' mix. Abeg make una reach im side and collect your own, or simply buy de thing. Lets support good people doing good things! Nogo, you will love the mix, I swear and no worries, I have got your back with your moms ok? lol!

"Ma jaiye mi, no yaka yaka oh!"
"eh jodi, jodi, playing with my feelings"... lol! Go check the mix out!