Sunday, March 30, 2008

CONCEDING DEFEAT: A DIVA HAS A BIRTHDAY

Okay, people. After 50-something lovely comments, it became incredibly clear that 'Team SolomonSydelle' was far outnumbered by 'Team Diva/Bomboy'. **sulk** Well, congrats to all of you 'Team Diva/Bomboy' people. You guys won. My husband found out and sends you all a message. He said that as the father of the children, he has veto power and because none of y'all are bringing him money to pay for owambe and Adewale Ayuba (who Catwalq requested for), we shall have joint parties from now on. lol! You got your wish. TE had a birthday party all for herself. Her baby brother was invited, and attended, but he was instructed by his dear sister that the party was for her and her only. Thank God the boy is a confident young man. He merely blinked at her, garbled some baby talk and crawled off. **Phew!** I was so worried that the discussion between the two of them would degenerate into a serious smackdown. lol!

The birthday party was a resounding success! She had 6 friends, her 2 brothers and loads of Uncles and Aunties. She got lots of toys, books, clothes, gift cards and money. Na wa oh. If na me wey do party for my birthday, I no go even get card, oh! But, this babe got loads of stuff and so many hugs and kisses. She walked around the house like a queen regarding her subjects. hahaha. We the adults 'shacked' (drank alcohol) and we celebrated TE's godmother's achievement of a Masters degree in International Development with a bottle of champagne.

Here are a few pics -
The Enforcer's birthday cake. It was so good!


That is Officer Bomboy trying to toast Sisi Ify

Thanks to everyone who wished The Enforcer a happy birthday. I read the birthday wishes to her and her head was swelling. I think she thinks she is some sort of star, or something.

So, it is now one party down, one more to go. Everyone that came to TE's birthday will be returning for Officer Bomboy's 1 year birthday party. Catwalq has offered to cook jollof rice (and I am holding her to that offer, lol!), "Aunty Maka" (her name is Amaka, but TK calls her Maka) has offered to provide meat pie and sausage roll (yummy!). I will cook chicken, goat meat stew (oooh, yum!!!!), dodo (fried plantain), and I must now find someone to cook moin-moin. I will order some chin chin and some suya. What else should be on the menu?

I am hoping for wonderful weather on Bomboy's birthday so that I can put a small pool in the backyard for the kids to play after we have cut the cake. Ooops, I forgot, Bomboy's god-mother has decided that we shall have cupcakes from some fancy bakery that is apparently frequented by Capitol Hill staff , Senators and other fancy executives. na wa oh! She has never brought me a cupcake from this place, mind you! lol!

Anyway, I was supposed to put up a post on Friday, but for some reason my 'autopost' function did not work and since I was mainly off the computer over the weekend, I didn't notice. So, Aunty Arewa, don't worry. I promise that my post on marriage will be up on Friday, no fail! I will come by your side and let you know once it is up. To everyone, have a wonderful week and see you on Friday! And to those of you 'Team Diva/Officer Bomboy' people, don't worry, I hold no grudges. **wink, wink**

PS: Vera wanted to know the reason for Officer Bomboy's alias, so read, 'Officer Bomboy Is On Duty'. Also, are you a top commenter at this blog? You can find out by taking a look at the Top ...Easier... Offenders list in the right sidebar. And who will take the Number One Spot this week?

Sunday, March 23, 2008

BIRTHDAY PARTIES - Team SolomonSydelle or Team Diva & Officer!

March 29th is my lovely daughter, The Enforcer's birthday. She is turning 4 but I promise you all, she carries herself like a 40 year old woman full of advice and constantly barking orders and demands at everyone. Her baby brother, officer Bomboy will be 1 year old a few days later on April 5th. So, it is birthday party season in my household.

And, therein lies the problem.

I would like to have a joint birthday party for those two, but TE has absolutely poo-pood the idea. Well, "poo-pood' is putting it extremely slightly. The girl threw a diva-hissy fit when she discovered that there was the slightest possibility that she would have to share a birthday party with her youngest sibling. The girl stamped her feet and insisted "I want a birthday party for me. My friends are coming for only me!"

Na wetin? No, really, what is it? I do not plan on having birthday parties a week after each other for the next 16 years (or thereabouts) just because my diva of a daughter (or is it daughter of a diva) needs to have her 'moment'! But, believe me, my daughter isn't the only naughty one here. Both her grandmothers are adamant that she have her own special birthday. Bomboy's god-mother is even worse when it comes to this matter of a shared birthday party. She, BilliePaige, freaked out on me when I mentioned the possibility of having a joint birthday party for the kids. She insisted that her god-son must have his own special day.

Fine. I will have 2 separate functions, both will be small in size. But, once TE turns 5, she will share birthdays with her brother. She will get her own 10th birthday party and a sweet 16. But most birthdays, there will be a birthday party for her and Officer Bomboy.

Am I the bad guy here?

If you haven't listened to the kids 'advice' for Aunty Waffy that was posted on Friday, make sure you go listen to it and share any suggestions you might have.

UPDATE: From the few comments received, it seems that I am already losing this battle. My children's blogville aunties appear to be in favor of me enduring at least 16 years of separate birthday parties within a week of each other for TE and Bomboy. Shuo? So tell me whose team are you on - Team SolomonSydelle or Team Diva & Officer!

Friday, March 21, 2008

TALK TO THE EASIER CREW: FORGIVENESS

I have never laughed so hard reading my own blog before. No, it wasn't because of anything I wrote, it was simply in reaction to the incredible comments you guys left to the 'Of Mice and My Man' post. Kai! una make me laugh sotey I tayah! (I laughed so hard, I got tired). Thanks so much my people, for all the suggestions. I gently encouraged Husband to put poison in some Indomie Noodles for the mouse (or mice as some of you have scared me into thinking, lol). He thought about it for a moment and said, he wasn't convinced that using the poison would not harm the kids. So, I am back to waiting till June to call terminix. But, my momsie (a proper Lagos woman who grew up on Pike Street in Lagos Island) is coming in a few months. If I dare tell her that vermin have been eating her grandchildren's Indomie Noodles, she will arrive in this country armed with a battalion of Nigerian products to carry out Operation Mouse Eradication! lol! Anyway, thanks so much guys! Now, on to the reason we are gathered here today...

Well, Waffarian posed a question for this week's installment of 'Talk to the Easier Crew'. She asked,
I feel let down (you can use the word "mad", I am mad at her, so they get the gist)by a friend of mine.

Should I tell her how I feel or not?
It was hard getting a proper response from the kids on this one. There could be several reasons for this, one of which is the fact that next Saturday is TE's birthday party and she has been having a diva moment (well, a few), That is making it hard for her to focus on anything other than party preparations and all the gifts she hopes to get. TK was also busy being naughty, so he had very little interest in participating in this conversation either. So, I think that the rest of us - the grown ups - will have to help Waffy with this issue. lol! Nevertheless, here is what the Easier kids thought...

boomp3.com

PERSONALLY...
I honestly think how one deals with this issue depends on certain factors. For instance, I would suggest that one ask themself the following. How close are you as friends? Can you live with what they have done? Will telling said friend affect your relationship? And if it does, do you care?

If the two of you are very good friends and you cannot ignore what they have done, then I suggest waiting until you are no longer too upset and finding a non-confrontational way to express your hurt/disappointment. But, that's just me. I hope that yourself and your friend find an amicable way to handle the situation (whatever it may be). Good luck Waffy!

So, what do you guys think?

PS: Have you heard the interview of Patrick Obahiagbon that I have on my Nigerian Curiosity blog? Have you read the excellent transcript that Waffy provided (in the comments section)? If you haven't you are seriously missing out. That man's English na wa oh! If you try to listen to what he is saying you will think he is from another planet, yet na English e dey speak oh! Hahahaha! Go check it out!

Enjoy your weekend and Happy Easter, people!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

OF MICE AND MY MAN

Na wa oh! Let me simply confess that I have a mouse that has pestering my household for over a year now. Yes, I confess, over a year.

My name is SolomonSydelle.
I live with a mouse.

My people, I am only sharing this story out of pure, unadulterated frustration! My husband, God bless him, has known that there is a mouse in the house and over the course of a year, he has bought every kind of rat trap and gadget that they have in this obodo Yankee (America). Traps that look like a house - Check! Traps that have glue in them - Check! Traps that supposedly smell good (and taste good) to mice - Check! Despite all this, that mouse continues to roam my house with abandon late at night. In fact, one night or rather, early morning, when Oficer Bomboy woke up and refused to sleep, we went downstairs to the kitchen and what did we see? The mouse was in my pantry, on a shelf, staring us down as if we had interrupted it's beauty sleep! E no go betta for that useless rat!

Oh, and did I say that this useless mouse only eats Indomie Noodles? I have never seen evidence of it eating anything else. But, when it comes to my Indomie Noodles (imported from Nigeria and not cheap because Iya who owns the local Nigerian store marks up every single item), that useless mouse knows how to eat. It eats all the noodles but I have no clue until TE demands Indomie and I grab 2 bags only to realize that they are practically empty. This happened the other day and when I had to give my daughter eba instead, she cried, because she had banked her hopes on Indomie Noodles for lunch. As she ate her eba, my daughter looked at me with tear stained cheeks and asked, "Mommy, what happened to the Indomie?" I had to explain that the mouse ate it. (Yes, my daughter understands that there is a mouse in the house. That is how long we have had it for a housemate!) She responded "The mouse needs to go eat his own Noodles!" Amen!

But, I digress. This post is about the mouse and my husband. They have been playing a game of man and mouse. Every time my man puts a new contraption in the kitchen and the mouse lays low for a couple days, fooling us into believing that it has left only for us to realize that it is alive and feasting on Indomie Noodles. I have shouted, I have pleaded, I have nagged, I have cajoled. Instead, my husband has purchased all sorts of gadgets to catch that useless vermin! My husband read that there are various gadgets that emit sounds and 'rays' that will dissuade mice from coming to your residence. He says that he doesn't want to use poison because it could harm the kids. Now, that is true, but, haba! I asked him to get rid of the mouse, not buy it electronics! You should see the latest tool we have in my house for 'Operation Mouse Eradication'. Here it is -
Na wa oh! Well, what can I do? I don't like mice and have no plans of killing it myself. I will however, give my husband until June to get rid of his 'friend' and then I will be calling Terminix or someother pesticide company. Don't get me wrong, my Husband is a wonderful man. But, when it comes to handling this useless mouse, it has been an interesting adventure. Lol! And talking about Husband, why do I have to beg him to give his chicken bone to Bomboy? The man says that the child cannot truly appreciate the yumminess of chicken bones. Na wa for the people in this my house, sha! Hahaha!

PS: Aunty Waffy: Thank you for submitting a question for the Talking to the Easier Crew segment. I will put up the kid's response on Friday. Take care, everyone and swing by on Friday! Oh, and will Sasuke get the number one spot again this week? Let's see who will get it! Finally, check the right sidebar to see where you rank on the list of ...Easier... 'offenders'!

Monday, March 10, 2008

EVERYONE WANTS ATTENTION

MOMMY AND DAUGHTER
I was just thinking that TE has it hard. Living in a house with two precocious brothers that get lots of attention must make it hard for her. Well, on Saturday night, after giving both TE and TK their nighttime baths, I carried both of them on my lap, put their heads in my chest and sang lullabies to them.

TE was in absolute heaven! She closed her eyes and hummed along to the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song. It was a nice bonding moment. I probably enjoyed it more than she did. You see, I hardly get to spend such sweet lullaby time with my older two. For one thing, they just don't seem to want hugs and kisses the way their younger brother, Bomboy, does. In fact, when I kiss TK, he always pushes me away with a cheeky smile on his face and the words, "Don' kish me, mama!" (I hope I don't need to translate TK-speech, here, lol!).

Well, I think I will have to have some mommy-daughter time sometime soon. I think I know exactly where to take her. They have these places where you can build a teddy bear with you kids. That would be an exciting experience for both of us. It is exactly the sort of thing she loves to do. You know she's a complete Diva! Let me tell you, the night I was getting ready to attend the Howard University African fashion show, my daughter sat attentively at my feet and kept telling me, "You're fabulous." (a word she uses far too often nowadays). Hahaha. I would in turn tell her that she was very pretty and she would continue, "Yes, I'm very pretty and TK is cute. Bomboy is cute and Daddy is cute. But you're fabulous and I'm pretty!" Did I tell you all she has a pair of cute red, sparkly shoes that she wears all day! What a diva!
THE BOYS ARE UP TO NO GOOD. AS USUAL!
Anyway, I know you guys are dying to hear what schemes the boys were up to last week. Well, I won't disappoint you. First off, I want to know why boys are sooooo disgusting???????
These boys of mine! It's as if they are seeking my sttention by any means possible. The things they do to out-do each other - eeeeeewwwww, inyama! Listen, TK spent all week pulling catarh/snot from his nose into his mouth like it was candy. With the lip smacking and everything! Now that he has no more catarh, he is blowing his nose very hard to produce some. Instead, his nostrils are beginning to bleed! And he keeps saying, "My nosh harts!" (okay, I'll translate this time "My nose hurts"). Oh, and he thinks it is cool to spank his mother! lol!

But, if you think that is nasty, well, Officer Bomboy has outdone him! On Friday morning, the kids were playing in the play room while I ran up to the kitchen to get some bananas. Next thing, I heard TE screaming, "MAMA! MAMA! Mama, come quick!" I sped down the stairs and in the bathroom I saw an incredible sight! Officer Bomboy had his entire right arm in the toilet bowl! The boy turned and looked at me with absolute glee! Can you believe he was hitting the water and spraying toilet water all ovr the bathroom? He had already soaked half of his older sister's shirt. I guess she got too close while trying to extract him from the bowl. hahahaha. (It's funny how I can laugh heartily about these things after the dact). I grabbed him away from the toilet bowl and he emitted a blood curling scream! The bobo was kicking his feet and his arms were flailing everywhere. Na wetin? Because i removed him from the toilet bowl, now I am a criminal, eh? Ah! Being a parent is just not easy, oh! But, I thank God!

Hope you are all well! I will be better at responding to comments this week. Thanks for all the constant encouragement and kindness. God bless you all!

Friday, March 7, 2008

CARNIVAL TIME!

I try to keep this blog funny and light. I also try to keep it free of foul language or images. However, I had to put up this picture from Dominican Carnival 2008 that I received from my sister-in-law. (Remember, the Dominica I talk about is not the Dominican Republic, but the incredibly beautiful and bountiful Commonwealth of Dominica). If it offends you, I apologize in advance. Please keep in mind it is NSFW (Not safe for work)!

To see more images from the Mas (Festival) visit J's Picasa Album. Did I ever tell you guys that there quite a few Nigerians in Dominica? And, that Dominicans look a lot like Nigerians and have retained some of our customs and love Nollywood?

Here is a short clip from the opening Parade last month. Enjoy your weekend!

Monday, March 3, 2008

CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION...

It seems like my house keeps mirroring various hit television shows. The new bolt on my front door reminded me of Prison Break and now other behaviors from my boys are giving me flashbacks of one of my favorite television shows - CSI - Crime Scene Investigation. Or maybe, its COPS. You know COPS, the one with the 'Bad Boy' theme song that goes, Bad boys, bad boys, What you gon do, what you gon do when they come for you..." In fact, here is a video tribute to the show that I found on Youtube to give some of you an idea of what I am talking about...


Anyway, back to the story. It's so funny how children just can't pretend when they have done something naughty. From the very beginning all my children let you know that they will do something wrong and if for any reason you weren't around to see the signs, they definitely make it easy to determine who 'violated' the rules. lol!

For instance, Husband, Bomboy, TE and I were sitting downstairs in the playroom while TK had was on the second floor 'exploring'. before we knew it, we heard a large thud and the sound of glass shattering on the kitchen floor. Husband went upstairs while I followed at a distance. I definitely did not want to deal with whatever mess my precious son had created. Well, no sooner had we reached the top of the stairs than did we see TK running past us with incredible speed. We both whipped our heads and watched him run. In his hand was a large plate. Husband went into the kitchen while I tried to talk to TK and discover what in the world he was doing with a plate. It turned out that the boy wanted to get something from the dish rack and so, pulled the entire dish rack full of glass dishes, glasses and cutlery down to the floor. The boy didn't even have the good sense to get rid of the evidence before coming out of the kitchen! Husband an I had to hold back the laughter! Imagine!

And, remember how I had to put a bolt on the door because TK and his partner in crime, Officer Bomboy, were trying to 'escape' from the house (hence, the Prison break reference)? Well, my people, I think I need to put a bolt on my fridge as well. I know that boys eat a lot but haba, my boys are 2 years and 11 months old, should they need a little more time before they raid my fridge?

Well, apparently not! As i was typing this post, I noticed that the boys were too quiet and my fears were confirmed when I heard TE screaming at her brothers, "Stop being naughty!" (She is forever the disciplinarian. What would I do without that girl?) So I went upstairs to investigate. My eyes were greeted with the sight of TK in my fridge and his baby brother Bomboy was on the floor with a gallon of milk! The boys were emptying the fridge! I shouted, "Hey, out of my fridge" and TK slammed the door shut and ran leaving his baby brother at the scene of the crime with a gallon in his hands! Hahahaha!

I wanted to spank them both, but something about the whole thing was quite hilarious, so I reprimanded them and sent them on their way.

My advice for any offenders, my boys included, is that when you do something naughty, try not to get caught with the evidence!!!!! lol!

PS: Have you read the last post and listened to TE, TK and Officer Bomboy's advice to a reader's recent question on bathrooms? If you haven't make sure you read the last post and feel free to send in your questions for the ...Easier...crew!

Have a blessed week!

Saturday, March 1, 2008

TALK TO THE EASIER CREW: BATHROOMS

Hahahahaha! I am down with the flu but just had a conversation with TE and TK about a question I received via email.

Here is an excerpt from the email. I will keep the sender Anonymous, until she gives me permission to release her Blog identity.

Dear SSD:
I am so glad that your kids and you are willing to address questions from readers like me. Na wa for una o...

Anyway, my question stems from a situation I am in right now. My boyfriend of 2 years wants me to move in with him. I am willing to do it even though my mother has forbidden me. lol. However, I'm concerned about using the toilet when he is around. Especially doing, you kknow... He always teases me that as long as he has known me, I have never even farted in his presence. He even asks me if I even know how to poop because he has never seen me do it. I am a very private person when it comes to such matters and cannot imagine having him in the bathroom with me or even in the house when I do the doo. So, please, make una tell me. Is it okay for me to poop while my boyfriend is in the bathroom?

Wow! I know that my kids are pros at pooping and farting but this question na wa! I wasn't sure how to ask the kids about this. After all, they don't understand the nuances of boyfriends and girlfriends or even bathroom privacy for that matter. hahahaha. All I can say is that I understand. Your boyfriend does not nee to know what goes on when you are in the bathroom. But the fact that you have never done "the doo" when he is in the house is quite funny. lol! What will you do when you marry, abi you will have a special toilet away from your mate?

Anyway, I asked The King first and all he had to say was that girls should not use the bathroom when boys are there. Why I asked him why, he simply said "Becosh I shaid sho!" (Translation: Because I said so!).

I then decided to ask The Enforcer and even recorded our conversation for your listening pleasure. Don't say I never did anything for you people! lol!



Well, I hope you have your answer my dear!

Maybe the readers have thoughts of their own on this matter...


PS: I am so sorry that this is a day late. I had difficulty getting the video made. Thankfully, the kind and helpful Catwalq came to my rescue and made a clip to accompany the audio you hear! Thank you so much Catwalq!