Monday, February 25, 2008

BOYS WILL BE BOYS!

Howdy people! I actually was supposed to put up a post on Friday but had some trouble uploading an MP3 recording of the kids answering a question that was sent in by a reader. So, let me get one thing out of the way, from now on, Mondays will feature a post on the kids and their usual naughtiness while Fridays will feature an "ASK THE EASIER CREW" question that all of you can answer and/or read up on the kids response. So, that will be the schedule from now on. This Friday will feature a question on Trust and relationships. So, swing by on Friday, or simply subscribe to the feed for this blog and get it delivered right to your email inbox or preferred reader.

Well, unto the usual naughtiness at my humble abode! These boys of mine are definitely proving to be a handful! They collude with each other to keep me on my toes. For instance, the other day, I was listening to "Lori le" (or as my young cousin calls it, "That razz song!") and dancing away with TE. Next thing, my house alarm system beeped to indicate that a door in the house was opened. My daughter and I looked at each other in puzzlement. We were downstairs and hadn't opened any doors. I look around the playroom and realized that TK and Bomboy were nowhere in sight and so I got up to find them.

It didn't take too much time to find them and to discover why the alarm went off. At the front door was TK with one foot out the door. Close behind him was the Officer himself. In fact, Officer Bomboy even turned around and looked at me. His face developed that look he always gets when he is about to be happily mischievous and off he went. I mean, full steam, or rather crawl, ahead! The bobo sped up and crawled quickly in a bid to join his older brother in their escape plan! Haba! Na wetin! These boys! As my husband returned from work I instructed that he, and all his children, carry themselves DIRECTLY to the hardware store and buy a super duty lock to keep these boys from escaping again! Here is the result -



Since when did my life turn into an episode from Prison Break? I no go gree. There must be peace in this home, and it begins with a serious bolt across the front door.

And as for Bomboy, he doesn't need TK to get into trouble. Now that he knows how to crawl up the stairs, I burn so many calories chasing him upstairs! He somehow opens the stair gate and proceeds up the stairs. When I ask him to stop climbing, that only fuels his fire! And, the minute he sees me running to stop him, he flies upstairs! If there was a Guinness World Record for 10 month old staircase-crawlers, Bomboy would win it, hands down!

AND ON GETTING A 'MALE CHILD'

My sista, Simi Speaks posed the question in her comment to the last post. She wants to know what "moves" to do to improve the chances of having a boy. My thoughts on this are as follows. Get down on your knees...(get your minds out of the gutter RIGHT NOW!) and pray! lol! No amount of Kama Sutra can help improve the odds of having a boy. In fact, if I recall correctly, it is easier to have girls than boys. One of nature's shrewd tricks. Although, for the sake of full disclosure, let me say that my high school science teacher's wife swore that changing the acid-alkali balance of her body made a difference in her having a baby boy.

So, to Aunty Simi Speaks and anyone trying to find a way to sire a boy, just keep doing what you are doing, although I advise that you feel free to be as adventurous an inventive as possible. =Who knows, the happier you and your partner are in the bedroom, the more chances you might have at getting what you want. But at the end of the day, we must all give thanks to God for all his wonderful mercies! Whatever they might be!

See you all on Friday, people and keep a smile on your face. And, by the way, the Yoruba word of the week, according to TE is "Kilonshie?" (What is wrong with you?) and the French word of the week is "Bon Apetit...Merci!" (Enjoy your food...Thank you!). My children are learning Yoruba and French and it is a trip to hear them butcher both languages. lol! Oh, and i just have to share this with you, though TK will be very upset when he gets older. DVD in TK speak is "Deebeedeebee!" hahahah! How sweet! Till Friday!

Monday, February 18, 2008

CRAWLING COMPETITIONS

How was Valentine's Day? I hope you took the time to appreciate those dearest to you and I hope that you enjoyed yourself be it alone, with friends or with your special someone. My daughter gave me a kiss and wished me Happy Valentine's Day, while TK merely grunted at me. Officer Bomboy, gave me a peck and Husband came home with a single rose (I had a dozen roses from a few days earlier) and an incredibly fragrant Hyacinth plant. It is absolutely divine. The man said he bought it because "It lasts for ever." Sweet, huh? Oh, and thanks to Aunty Darkelcee for checking in on me on Val's day!

Anyway, let's get down to the reason you are all here today. You want to know what these children have been up to since the last time you were here. Okay, I'll tell you.

Yes, most of you are right. Officer Bomboy won. But, I came in second and I swear I would have come in first if there was no ojoro (cheating). Let me explain. TE, TK, Bomboy and I lined up in crawling position, while Husband was at the finish line calling the race. Anyway, once the race began, TE and TK started to play-fight, as usual. Actually, TK got ahead of TE and farted in her face, thus the cause of their fight. Personally, I believe this play-fighting (plus preliminary fart) was done to purposely prevent me from winning the prize. If not, then how is it that they managed to begin their shenanigans right in my path? Thus, blocking my chances of keeping up with the crawl expert himself- Bomboy! I was there crawling for dear life only to bump my head right into TK's derriere and believe me, it wasn't pretty!

Anyway, Bomboy, then took the lead and arrived at the finish line before me. That boy eh! You should have seen the look he gave me as he collected the prize. Husband lifted him in the air and the boy just looked down at me like I was some kind of loser. No fair. Anyway, the prize was chicken, and you know how the people I live with LOVE their chicken. I never had a chance!

By the way, does anyone have a question or issue they want resolved by TE, TK and Officer Bomboy? If you do, send an email to [email protected] and the gang will get right to it. Don't laugh, oh! The Enforcer is very good at giving advice, she is wise beyond her years and gives her father fashion advice in the mornings. As for the advice from The King and Officer Bomboy, I cannot vouch for its insight. But, no matter what it is, I can assure you it will be genuine. lol!

Remember to smile as often as possible today!!!!!!

Monday, February 11, 2008

DOLING OUT PUNISHMENT. WITH A CHICKENBONE?

Yes, oh, my ...Easier... Fam. I don come again, oh! Just when I think that the antics from my house can't get any funnier, these children force me into shock and absolute hysterics!

I have to make this story short because oga TK is here begging for "plantain chips". Okay, so, today, I had the pleasure of baking some chicken and sharing it with the children. We sat on the floor and I separated the chicken into small pieces for everyone. As I cleared the bone of chicken, Officer Bomboy got very excited. He knew it was time for him to jolly because in this house, he (apparently) has exclusive rights to every and all chicken bones! So, being the understanding mother that I am, I promptly gave the chicken bone to the boy. I then shared the chicken with his older siblings, TE, and Catwalq's Husband in waiting, TK.

A few minutes into our yummy feast, I took a look at my children and felt warmth in my chest. No, don't worry, nothing bad happened. I was just so happy to see my children so content with their chicken. TE was smacking her lips (loudly), TK was stuffing his mouth with as much chicken as he could (that boy likes Chicken too much!) and Officer Bomboy had his chicken bone in a death grip, sucking on the chicken bone like it was manna from heaven.

Well, the chicken eventually finished, and in the bowl were a few pieces of chicken skin and fat. I put the bowl on the floor and proceeded to put some socks on TK's feet. As soon as Bomboy saw me put the chicken bowl on the floor, he sped towards it. BTW, did I tell you that he crawls faster than I can walk sometimes? lol!

I didn't want him to make a mess of the chicken remnants in the bowl so I moved it out of reach. Sacrilege!!!! The boy started to halla! He changed course and began, full steam ahead, towards the bowl's new location.

"Bomboy, chicken ti ton!" (Chicken is finished, in Yoruba), I said in despair.
"Waaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!" He replied.
"Ejo, oko mi, e ma binu. E ni suru." (Please, sweetheart, calm down, in Yoruba) I responded.

That really made him mad. He took the chicken bone that he held in his left hand AND HIT ME ON THE HEAD WITH IT! Haba, see me see trouble oh! Since when do grown women get flogged by their babies? And, with a chicken bone, at that? It is not good oh! The boy is only 10 months old but the way he gets serious over food is crazy! Particularly food he can't really eat. I mean he has half a tooth! Also, did I mention that none has ever flogged me like that before? I went to St. Mary's Primary in Lagos and we had some teachers that would buy koboko for us, but never have I been treated to such 'flogging' as I received at the hands, or rather - chicken bone grasping and wielding fists of Officer Bomboy.

Anyway, make una take God come beg Bomboy for me. He has been in a foul mood all afternoon since this chicken incident. In fact, he just gave me a dirty look, oh and he said "Imeeh" to me right now. Please help me tell him that from now on, I will not keep the chicken bowl or any food bowl from his reach, oh! I just want him to not be mad at me anymore. Ah ... hold on ... he just smiled at me. Phew, thank God, maybe the boy has forgotten the incident then. Well, then me to I will forgive and forget. But, if he EVER beats me with a chicken bone again, e go hear wien!


By the way, we had a crawling competition in my house yesterday. Yes, my brilliant idea! Husband stood by and called the race. "On you marks, get set, crawl!"

Guess who won? (Answer to be revealed next week Monday. lol!)

Have a safe and productive week, everyone.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

OFFICER BOMBOY IS ON DUTY

First and foremost, I must say a big thanks to everyone who took the time to send their condolences on the passing of my relative. I thank you for your kind words, wishes and prayers. I thank God for the life my cousin had and simply pray that God will give strength to his mother who is struggling with her loss.

That being said, this week has been full of the normal events and activities from the kids. However, Bomboy is beginning to exhibit a trait hitherto unnoticed. The guy is EXTRA POSSESSIVE. It seems as if I am his property. And, he makes sure to let a certain person know it.

All week, Bomboy has been 'blocking' his father's access to me. My husband cannot come near me for a hug, talk-less of a kiss when Bomboy is around. If he dares, Bomboy swings into action. Crawling at breakneck speed to prevent his father from getting too comfortable with me.

Case in point, on Saturday afternoon, Husband took the family out for lunch. When we returned from our outing, the entire family got into our bed and cuddled. The kids were excited to be in "mommy and daddy's bed" and Husband and I were happy to share a moment (even if it was under the watchful gaze of Officer Bomboy). Well, Husband decided to snuggle up closer and give me a kiss. As our faces creeped closer to each other, I heard a loud wail. "Naaaaaah!!!!" Before I could register what was going on, Bomboy was right smack in between the two of us. He took his arm and pushed his father's head away from mine! I just started laughing.

Husband did not understand what was going on, so he moved Bomboy away and this time tried to put his arm around my waist. Hahahaha, bad move on his part. Bomboy appeared again and lifted his father's arm, which probably weighs as much as the child. Bomboy removed the arm from my waist and scuttled his way in between the two of us, again.

At this point, Husband's patience was becoming limited and he said, "You this boy, you have had my wife's breast in your possession for months now. All I want to do is cuddle with my woman and you are trying to prevent my access. Ah, no way!" Husband picked the baby up, and put him on the floor, knowing that the child is not old enough to climb unto the bed!

Na which kine wickedness be that? I shouted at Husband for being so petty and promptly picked up my dimpled little baby who was wailing so fiercely that it broke my heart. lol! I got back into bed, and put Bomboy in between Husband and I. Then I put my arms around my hubby and gave him a nice kiss. The blissful moment between the two of us, lasted about 10 seconds because TE and TK realized that their parents were relaxed and decided to put an end to that.

Ah, the life of a married woman! No private time, ever!


PS: I forgot to mention that TK is adding to his vocabulary. He says "Pele" instead of "sorry" and now enjoys greeting everyone with a sweet "Bonzourrrr" (Bonjour) in the morning. lol!