THE COMMENTS PROBLEM HAS BEEN SOLVED.
By now, I am sure you heard of Uzoma Okere who was beaten senseless by Naval Officers in Victoria Island, Lagos. You can watch the video of her violent beating here.
By now, I am sure you heard of Uzoma Okere who was beaten senseless by Naval Officers in Victoria Island, Lagos. You can watch the video of her violent beating here.
Now, onto this week's installment.
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Dear Solly:
My name is Mary and I really need some advise. I have been friends with a co-worker, Sheila, for over a year now. She has been my confidant and friend and all was well until I got promoted over her 4 months ago.
Once that happened, things between us got very bad. Instead of congratulating me, she stopped talking to me and sent me nasty text messages. She then started spreading rumors about me at the office. Now, that she must report to me, she does everything she can to frustrate me, sometimes in front of other son our team.
When we were friends, I confided in her that I liked another co-worker, Brandon. Brandon and I attend the same church and his mother is a Deacon at our church that likes me very much. Anyway, Brandon and I started to get closer about 6 weeks ago and began spending a lot of time together outside of work. I was careful to not let our coworkers know but somehow, Sheila found out or guessed somehow. For the last 2 weeks, anytime she sees Brandon and I together, she must come jiggle her breasts in front of him. The other day, I saw them laughing in the hallway and when I asked Brandon about it later, he said it was just a silly joke but refused to share it with me.
Well, late Friday, our team went out for drinks after work at a local bar. I had to leave early because I needed to babysit my uncle's children. On Saturday morning, I was wakened by several text messages fro other friends informing me that the group drank a lot and while playing some drinking games, Sheila and Brandon kissed many times. One coworker called to gist me and although she doesn't know about Brandon and I, she told me that he "took Sheree home."
The next day at church, Brandon, who usually sits with me, didn't come any where near me. He didn't even look me in the eye. This last week has been torture, because at work, he has acted as if there had never been anything between us and Sheila has been giving me these little smiles as if she won some kind of battle.
I am so mad!!!!!! I want revenge against Sheila. I cannot believe that she would hurt and disrespect me like that. She is the first African American I have ever been close to even though people warned me to not get too friendly. I just want revenge.
What do I do?
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I can't help but add some koko to this matter. Me, I want to know why Madame Revenge (if I may call her such) is only looking for revenge from Sheila. Anyway, do you think she should get revenge from either Sheila or Brandon? If so, how should she go about it? This kain office politics na wa!
28 Easier Comments. Add Yours!:
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FIRST...Marking my spot STRONGLY!!!
Madam revenge should not do any thing drastic/stupid that she may end up regretting o!!! Apart from the fact that vengeance is the Lord's, It is vengeance enough that she's head and her friend is "tail" ( get my drift?)...There's no point acting up over a guy...lai lai...it will be a fruitless venture and a bloody waste of time and energy at that...there'll be other berra bobos...and for all you know the guy may crawl back on all four begging(it happens o!)...It may seem like a major issue now, but "this too shall pass" and some months down the line, she'll wonder why she ever reacted the way she did in the first place...life happens...
finally, it opened! solo, what is happening? i've had to try out 3 different browser just to make a comment on dis post!!!!!!!
& see now, i would have been first oh. *sulking*
nasty text msgs jst cos u got promoted over her? i thnk we're missng smthg here. silent treatmnt, yes not d nast txt. sheila didn't try 2 seduce brandon till after Mary got promoted?
if mary really likes brandon, then she shld talk 2 him first. rght now all she has are stories and suspicions dat brandon & sheila had sex. hey maybe nthg happnd but Sheila set the whole thing up knowing Mary would get to hear, jump to conclusions and break up with brandon.
no need for vengenance against anyone. she wasn't officially dating brandon. could have been a mistake on brandon's part cos he was drunk. other pov is - if brandon can drop his pants so easily, is he really worth it?
ok, let me comment on d post. i really feel Mary gains nothing from seeking revenge. i mean, whatever for. speaking as one dat sought revenge cos i felt someone wrong me, & as well as being d one dat revenge was sought out on cos someone tot i stole a man 4rm her, i can authoritatively say this BLOODY WASTE OF TIME & EMOTIONS. few years down d line, she'd b damn glad she walked away 4rm d situation with her pride intact.
if she must revenge, then let it be against Brandon. Afterall, he's the one who was weak enough to fall for someone else.However, Any form of action against them would not be worth it. I tell you
I suggest she acts like they dont even exist at all (that will really get to Sheila)and then! When B comes crawling back, as he surely will, she smiles sweetly at him, tells him all is well, and then keeps right on ignoring him!
Revenge solves nothing...yep it might make Mary feel a lil bit better or she may feel even worse than she already does.
My two cents....let them be, both of them. You sound like a decent woman with a good head on your shoulders so don't waste any more time on either of them.
I know its easier said than done but let God fight your battles...he NEVER loses xxx
Oh No! Mrs S, i am very angry o, in fact, i dont know how u wan beg me sef, na me for become FIRST!
u have to bribe me to forgive u sef (expecting it now now!)i saw it exactly 23 mins!
No, there is absolutely no need for revenge. like FFF said, its a bloody waste of time and emotions.
i know right now, the only thing u want to do is strangle them, or better still, make poop come out of their mouths and ears if u had the powers, but i assure, there is no need for revenge(and no need for u to go collect winch cos of them).
mr B is a weak ass, so just deal with him like one, click the IGNORE button, it hurts more than u know. and when he comes apologising, just say "thats ok, smile and keep ignoring him"
as for the bitch (sorry, i just cant help it), ignore her too, she is one of those people who think of themselves first as a failure or loser and so they do the stupidest things to validate themselves, so just smile and pitifully look at her as one of those totally hopeless chics.
water go always find im level.
ur man, real man, will come and it will take more than some stringy boobs and jazz to take him from u!
i feel she should just walk away from the situation,if brandon acts like they neva existed.
she'll be wasting her time and alot of emotional energy trying to get back at anyone of them.
the sweetest revenge would be when she gets a better man and maybe another promotion,,,
i dont think she needs to get any revenge against brandon, from the story i dont deduce they are dating. just ignore him.
As for sheila, she should count that friendship a loss, I dont think its worth it. she should put the situation behind her and not let it get to her, that's the best solution. If sheila got brandon that easily, i dont think he was worth it to begin with.
Revenge Ke! tha t one na waste of brain cell power abeg. she really doesnt want to get into a love triangle at the workplace. its bad enough she chose to date someone at the same workplace, having conflict cos of it, is even worse. plus she sure doesnt want to get fired cos of the whole bruhaha.
simple english, her friend helped her realize they werent friends afterall.
Madam reveng needs to let it go. Workplace affairs aint a good idea anyways. Her friend would realise that very soon.
And her friend helped her realise dude wasnt that into her anyways...too many bigger fishes in the sea to be bugging ova one tiny clam!
i used to be a strong advocate for revenge till i realised it only makes u more bitter and angry. She should talk to her friend and ask her what she did wrong cuz all those nasty text msgs to start with r really uncalled for. Probably theres an unaddressed issue besides the promotion. She should be matured about it. Then talk to brandon and ask whats up? and all......... hope things work out but pls no revenge. it doesnt get anywhere
she should just walk away as much as it might hurt...the other chic will surely get hers!! no use wasting her energy plotting a revenge...
hmmm thats the reason why i define my colleagues as colleagues...we are not friends outside the office, i have enough friends o..lol...ok back to the matter @ hand i think Miss Revenge is bigger than doing it for revenge, yes it will be a bit g satisfyinfeeling BUT really what does it achieve?Either way revenge or no revenge will Brandon be with her?She should just be happy that this girl envies her, the promotion and the man...but stooping down to the level of playing down n durrty wont achieve nothing!!
errr is brandon worth it and Shiela is obviously an idiot with very low self esteem. If you waste your time trying to get revenge then you as idiotic as both of them. Walk away and get your revenge by being exceptional at your job and getting even more promotions instead of regressing back to their levels. So not worth it.
As hard as this may sound..walking away is your best option here. You say you go to church so leave revenge to God...he will do a better job that you can ever do..
bradon isn't worth it neither is sheila...your own man is coming..
pour all that energy into your new role and excel at what u do...it wont be worth it if this affects your career as well.
Revenge is just... childish. There's no point really. What's in it for you? You'll do something bad to Sheila to 'pay her back' for what she did to you, and then feel bad about it for a long time, and gain what? Pointless, if at all you want something back, allow 'karma' it always comes around somehow you know. Let it be. Why isn't Brandon in trouble anyways? He knew about what you two had and Sheila actually didn't know. Remember that? I'm trying to understand why her being African-American was brought up. Anyhow, let it go.
I almost gave up on trying to comment... it just won't work for no reason.*sigh*
She should just forget about both of them mehn, they are not deseving of her time and effort if they could pull off a stupid stunt like that.
I am going with t&t...she should 4get bout both/...I mean she is a boss! it is hard but she should show them why she got promoted and they didn't! simple! shes got a lot that they do not have!
please, you need to forget about these people. neither of them deserves you please. like they've all said: you're a boss!!
I agree with all those who said she should free the pair of them.
They Definitely not worth it. Our girl should take it as a lesson against those she confides in and chalk it up to experience.
It's easier said but in the end its better for her to forget 'em both and go about her business.
You already have your revenge sweetie, you got promoted over her! you can rub it in as much as you want! hahahahahaha don't forget to mention it as often as you can...
and what did she get? Brandon...leftovers...as usual...
As most have said, she shud just lecve them alone while her dignity is still intact.
If sheree continues to give her trouble at work, she shud probably report to a higher authority.
Anyhoos, how r u n the fam?
Pls don't waste your time.
Ignore them and move on with your life.
Get back by getting promoted again, and getting a really great guy outside work.
Revenge for what bikonu? Sheila showed her true colors, Brandon showes his... instead of you to thank God for exposing the truth to you so you can move on without wasting more time, energy and emotions on what wasn't meant to be, you're here pouring more energy into it.
Madam Revenge, just mind yourself and face your front. Do your business, get your check and keep it moving.
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