Okay, this one is a tad bit heavy, please read and provide encouraging advise....
"My brother and I have been best friends my whole life. He is 18 months older than me and we have done almost everything together since we were in nappies.
Well, I just moved to the city he lives in to get my Masters. It has been excellent. After classes, I get to hang with him and do fun things. He is very outgoing, much more than me and he knows everyone here, I swear. It has been a comfortable transition for me.
Except that the other night, my brother got drunk at a house party we attended and, I don't know how to say this, but I saw him with another guy and the whole thing was funny. We took a taxi home and I couldn't even look at him. I was going to walk back to my dorm room but he stopped me and told me he wanted to talk to me.
He then started telling me that I should not tell our parents, especially popsy, but he is gay!!!! He then started talking about Sunday, our driver when we were 6. The guy touched him somewhere or something like that. How does that make him gay? Or was he already gay and that is why Sunday did those things to him?
I never knew he was gay. Never. There were no signs. He used to catch more babes that i ever could. Matter of fact, na im wey show me how for catch babes, no offense (i know you are a woman). How can he be gay? Abi is this some phase? You know how people come to America and all of a sudden they become gay. I am so confused. If I didn't know this, what else is there that I do not know about my brother? And, he doesn't want me to tell our parents. My father would kill him. Literally. My father is a strict born again, if he even knew we were drinking, baba would fly from Nija straight!!!! So, for my bro to be gay, it could tear my family apart.
I don't know if I can trust him. How could I not know? He only told me because I happened to see the real him in a moment of weakness. I don't think things can ever be the same. How can i not tell my mother? She keeps asking what is wrong, and sooner or later I will give in. I am not returning my bros calls for now. I am too confused. I read that this stuff can be genetic. Mehn, I just need to make sense of this. I miss my brother, but can things ever be the way they were?
Help me please.
Yours,
sorrowfully lost"
Please, let us offer this man sensitive and encouraging advice. I am hearing back from the readers who sent in these questions and most have found this exercise helpful. Thank you all so much for all your help!!!
Oya, speak on it...
60 Easier Comments. Add Yours!:
no 1!! it's been a while. :-)
i wld say support and love ur brother regardless. let him deal with ur parents himself. with time, everything will fall in place.. wldnt hurt to pray too!
2nd!
Hmmm. I guess the world we live in now condones homosexuality (America land of the free) so I believe that's why you brother doesn't think it's a big deal. But I get you dilemma. Maybe the best thing to do is talk to your brother about what's going on in your head. I don't support homosexuality, because that was not what God intended, but maybe you both can come to an understanding. The most important thing to you is your relationship with your brother yeah? Don't lose that. I don't think it's genetic o. Just make sure that a man never catches your attention... lol.
3rd????
Pray. Then pick up your brother's calls & talk...about everything...@ the end of the day u love your brother. Sounds like he is hurting 2. Try & find a way 4ward 2gether... As for that driver that took advantage...i pray God has 4ever stopped him 4rm stealing another child's innocence
I think you should just let ur brother be, if he says he is gay then he is gay...just be there for him and I really dont think you need to tell ur folks...
I wish i could help out on this one.all the same, i feel ur bro has his own life to live. He should tell ur parents himself (if he ever plans to). Just try to work on ur relationship with him. Dont avoid his calls.
Your brother is gay..its not the end of the world. He is what he is so you need to continue being his friend and brother. Pick up his calls and talk to him. He is probably even more confused and cut up about the whole thing and is scared that the family may find out. Please don't tell your parents, that is for him to do. Its his life after all.
In the meantime, pick up the phone and call him...remember he is your brother and he is your best friend by your own admission. That will never change. There is already a stigma attached to being gay, he needs to know someone he loves is on his side.
I pray the situation is resolved, meanwhile stay strong.
BTW...homosexuality is not genetic.
ahh you need to love him and show him more love. We all have sins, and no sin is greater than the other..at the end of the day na the same hellfire.
So pray for him and dont judge him..pls..I understand its hard for you but I am sure its harder for him..
Deep sturves.
1st thing is 2 pray bout the matter.
As zephi said, don't judge him. Talk 2 him, he needs 2 know u love him.
Keep praying 4 him, n don't tell ur parents cos it will just divide d family as u said.
I personally don't believe any1 is born gay, people just choose 2 b gay.
Damn!!! This is a tough one. First and foremost you cannot stop loving him because he is gay. I know it might be hard to trust him again but as they say time heals everything. Right now what he needs is someone who will be there for him and if you bail out on him, who would? About the parents, I am sure they will overreact initially but if they really care about you guys am sure everything would be fine in the long run. Your brother is about to go through a very difficult time right now so I suggest you just be there for him emotionally as much as you can.
First off; u need to let ur brother know u still love him cos if he didn't trust u, he would av continued to keep that secret away from u. U're obviously the person he is closest to in the family and that's why he told u.
Nobody has any proof that homosexuality is not genetic. the fact that he was molested at age 5 is not what made him gay, believe me, if he had started sleeping with girls at that age, he wld still av turned out the same way. the fact that our society frowns on homosexuality has caused many to be on the DL(down low) and so some like to believe that there are no Nigerian homosexuals.
While I understand how u feel, u have to remember that this is abt ur brother and not u. U do want ur brother to be happy don't u?
I'm sorry but my view of homosexuality is not the politically correct view of 'if he's gay then he's gay'.
There's no doubt that homosexuality is a genetic dis-order. So is peadophillia. Do you say then, 'if he's a peadophile, then he's a peadophile'?
I think the gentleman in question should not ostracise his brother but draw him closer. Hate the sin not the sinner, which is what a lot of people have been getting wrong about homosexuality. You dont hate the homosexual person but help him to correct the dis-order.
He needs to tell his brother that his chosen lifestyle would only bring pain and grief to their parents and encourage him to be normal.
first of all, let your brother be the one to let your parents know at his most comfortable time. But you can help by making him see reason to speak to your parents.
Dont make him feel awful, draw him closer and hate the sin not the sinner.
Your parents will deal with his homosexuality, and might make him get over this phase (if its one) faster.
Sexuality is not a choice. No one chooses to be heterosexual anymore than they can choose to be homosexual. If people believe that they are naturally heterosexual, then what is it exactly that stops them from understanding that someone else is naturally homosexual?
Homosexuality is not a disease. Homophobia (a hatred of homosexuals) is! Homophobia is a social disease! We need to get rid of this hatred and ignorance.
And on that common erroneous assumption that there are links between paedophliia and homosexuality, people should step out of ignoramus castle, google it or get some books and read!
i'm really sorry about ur situation sorrowful one. i agree that u should love ur brother regardless, u can detest his "deeds", but not him.
nobody was born gay and that is the truth!
WOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! LEMMe ponder on this for sum hours..i'll be back!!!!
p.s:xoxo
More than enough advice has been given already. All i will add is that it's not your place to tell your parents. It's strictly between him and them..
@ Solomonsydelle
I think you need to take these homophobic commments down blogger would do it as it is against their policy. I find these comments particularly offensive and evil and I am sure some other people do too. Though it appears we are in the minority here. It is at times like this that I am indeed ashamed to call myself a Nigerian. If a human being supports the persecution and ultimate beheading of another human just because they have a different sexuality...Nigeria has a long way to go o.
@ naijalines
it's not only Nigerians that are homophobic. the fellow that talked abt beheading homosexuals is not a Nigerian.
I think most pple are just misguided and they think they have the right to judge others and use religions and other sort of excuses.
@ IWALEWA
Thanks for your comment. I think the fellow is a Nigerian living in the Gambia. And I'm not suggesting that only Nigerians are homophobic. However, the majority of 'commentors' here are Nigerians. The homophobic comments in question were also made by Nigerians or people identifying as Nigerians. My statement was made in that context.
naijalines,
I quite understand u. I too am perplexed at how anyone in any of these categories -black, women, African- can support the oppression of any group of pple.
In my mind, one thing pple don't think abt is that no one will in their right mind just choose to be gay just for the heck of it with the discrimination and every thing they have to face on a daily basis. pple are gay and most of the time it is not by choice.
@ IWALEWA
Exactly, sista. I just hope Solomonsydelle would consider removing the offensive comments or Blogger admin would.
@naijalines - well said!
WOW...i knew Homophobia exsisted but not to this extent..wow..like I am SPEECHLESS RIGHT NOW!!! @Naijalines-You just spoke my mind!!
@ everyone: I have been away from this site most of the day and must reiterate that the idea of this series is to offer "sensitive and encouraging advice".
I completely support free speech, but it's like the US Supreme Court, I know when I see offensive speech. As such, I apologize to any who have been offended by comments left by others. I am sure that they did not mean to deliberately offend but simply chose unacceptable language to express themselves. Please remember that this blog is primarily a family-focused blog and someday, I hope my kids will read your wonderful comments, as such, let us maintain civility regardless of our divergent ideas.
Furthermore, I have a duty to my readers who have taken the time to share their issues with us all to ensure that they are protected and that their loved ones do not face abuse. So, I thank the kind reader who alerted me via mail to the 'wahala' this post might be causing. I will only remove one comment because that comment used language that is absolutely graphic. As to other comments that might be considered homophobic, while I do not condone them, as long as they simply express a difference of opinion, they can stay up. Please let us all respect one another and not use derogatory language to refer to anyone.
Thank you all for understanding. Your continued support of this series is greatly appreciated.
@naijalines..
I am not in support of homophobia neither do I believe its a disease...Sometimes people tend to oppose ideas/things/behaviors that they are not comfortable with a bit too violently and strongly than they should..
@those who do not believe that people where born gay
it is possible that people are born gay..well especially if you believe it is a sin..
So if you are not a christian ( by christian I mean one who does not ignore the part of the bible that says HS is a sin) then please disregard everything I would say from here.Because any retort of yours will not be valid.
"Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, And in sin my mother conceived me." Psalm 51:5
This is not bible study so I wont start quoting loads of scripture. there are numerous passages that show that we were born as sinners
I mean nobody taught you how to lie did they? But the day you stole meat from the pot and mama caught you, nobody told you to say "ah mummy I did not steal it"..It just flowed like that..
In primary school, when fatima got does really cute shoes that looked better than yours..no one taught you to start feeling jealous of her..Envy just welled up within you
So just because this feelings came naturally to you that did not make them right did it? It is still wrong and you got a good spanking for lying to mummy...You did not say " oh mum, the lie came naturally so you should not hold it against me,"..in that instant you would have gotten another slap.
Equally, It is possible that growing up one realizes that they are not attracted to the opposite sex but the same sex..and they cant help that feeling..Its how they feel but it does not make it right.
We are all struggling with the sin factor. We all have our demons..we are not so proud of all our actions...it might not be homosexuality but at the end of the day na the same God wey go judge us..
It is my prayer that by his grace made available through his death, we will overcome by the renewing of our minds and deprogramming ourselves of the mind set of the world and fully carry the mind of christ..
change is possible
.
im loving your talk to the easier crew thingy. its so nice to have all this debates and hear opinions.
all i would have said have already been said, so there.
he is still the brother you grew up with, why let this change things?
it is hard, disappointing and even unbelievable. if some1 had told u, u wuldnt av believed it but u saw it wit u own eyes and he told u about it too.
now u know he is gay, no point dwelling on if u can trust him or not. wot more could he possible hide in the closet? this is the greatest closet trick of all time for black people, to suddenly discover ur homeboy or brother in this case is gay.
he has accepted it, its time for u to embrace him regardless of wat u think he has become. nothing has changed. he is still the brother u know, after all if u didnt see wot happened that night nothing in ur heart would be changed.
ur brother loves u, and a this point he needs u to tell him u love him and that love is not to be conditioned.
Okay, let me keep this real:
He has to support his brother and be by his side, because trust me, the gay one has enough wahala as is being a gay Nigerian/African. It is not his place to tell his parents, that is the gay brother's responsibility. It is his choice and if he chooses not to say anything about his lifestyle that is his choice too as well. There are many gay Africans in New York and I bet you no one from their home countries know what they are doing in New York.
So my two cent is this:
he has to remain close friends with his brother but he needs to draw a boundary point, i.e, if seeing his brother behave in a sexual way makes him want to puke then he need to let his brother know that he isn't comfortable with that part of his sexuality and it is up to his brother to handle it. But, he has to remain friends with his brother...they are family!.
all your brother needs now is love, support and ur care. This is a very controverial act and believe me if your brother has his way he wouldn't want it to be like this. The world we live in barely supports gay folks which means they need all the love and support they can get from family and friends.
About your parents, ask him when he intend to tell them and let him do the telling..... i don't think it is your responsibility to tell them about it.... so let him do the telling.
Will continue praying for you and your family.... and i believe everything will be fine.
I dont bliv its genetic cos if it is den dia fada is one and he will soon bcome one and his grand fada was 1 so d story continues. He must talk to his bro n tell him d truth and try to understd if he is bisexual or simply gay. Cos if he is bi den dere is hope, but he has to b strong cos he mite b d one psn dat cld help his broda. Its important he talks to his bro cos he mite be d instrument dat God wants to convert his broda from dat Gay lifestyle.
this is too close for home 4 me, cos i have a brother who fuck (s) (ed) men! i only know of one incident,cos he wanted to know how he can get more money from his 'boyfriend' & tot i might some tricks! i confess i found him disgusting after that day. actually, i find him disgusting for many other reasons, but 2 add homosexuality on top of all his other crimes was just too much! i presently do not speak to that brother, but it isn't for what he did or does with his penis. i never told my parents either - my mom would have been really disappointed; my dad would have been one more justification for disowning him.
i really try not 2 b judgmental abt other people's lifestyle, but i HATE HOMOSEXUALITY. 2 have it n my family, even asa means of ripping money off some dude isn't nice. so, in a way, i understand how dis lost boy feels.
Pray, pray and pray for him because the thing holds them like demon possession, also ask him to go for counseling.Hold on about telling your parents, telling them could cause them serious problem,no parent want to hear such things about their beloved child.
You need to personally pray for grace to be able to help him get over this.Don't leave him alone now,because you were very close,he need you now more than ever.
like bola said, pray n continue to pray, asking God to guide u to do the right thing.
Goodluck
I apologise for those who may have found my comments inappropriate. solomonsydelle sorry for causing so much raucus on your blog, though am enjoying it, naijalines and the rest make una no vex o, But i must still yarn
What i dont undertsand is if the Gay people have the rights to speak why can't heterosexuals express themselves freely without being seen as homophobic or unsympathetic
I am a Nigerian that lives in Gambia and i believe there are loads of americans, brazillians or South Africans that think homosexualism is wrong or dont just feel right about it.
I find the statement "Nigeria has a long way to go" inapropriate as well, because one man thinks wrong of an abnormality? Please.
and naijalines na my paddy b4 o
@ Sprezatura
I don't think the statement 'Nigeria has a long way to go' is inappropriate at all, considering that you are certainly not in the minority. It is a fact that some (arguably many) Nigerians do share your views.
Apparently, a bill to outlaw same sex marriages was put b4 the Nigerian Parliament. Any Nigerian caught 'practising' homosexuality can be sentenced to up to 14 years in prison. In the northern part of the country, they would be stoned to death under sharia law...
How does the obsession with homosexuality help Nigeria with its various economic and social problems? It just goes to prove that Nigeria is still backward in so many ways, choosing to control people's personal lives and criminalising it when there are important and pressing issues of poverty and corruption to rid the country of. How can a country with such human rights atrocities ever be taken seriously in the international arena?...That's exactly my point.
You also said:
"What i dont undertsand is if the Gay people have the rights to speak why can't heterosexuals express themselves freely without being seen as homophobic or unsympathetic"
Gay people do NOT 'have the right' to express themselves freely.... obviously.... if they happen to walk past you in a dark alleyway or they are 'caught' in Kaduna or Kano or indeed anywhere in the world where they can be attacked by homophobic people at any time.
Secondly, homosexual people do not express a hatred of heterosexuals the way heterosexuals do of them.
I've addressed the particular issue of Nigeria not being the only homophobic nation, in an earlier comment. We are dealing with the Nigerian issue here. Just because other countries and peoples are homophobic does not make it right.
I'm not sure about being pallies o. What if I'm walking home with a gay friend and you decide to behead both of us? It's not funny o. Shey you get my point?:)
@ Zephi Fahrenheit
Sorry, I don't know what to make of your analogies and examples and I do not see their relevance to this discussion.
I don't think it is up to you or anyone else to decide who is christian and who is not. The Bible and any other religious material for that matter... are written as 'the word of God' through men. Whatever religion or faith you subscribe to, that is a fact no one can deny. So humans would interpret as they see fit.
It is a fact that EVERY christian interprets the bible as they see fit. They accept those bits that fit into their way of thinking and ignore the bits they find difficult to live with. The blood transfusion issue is one that comes to mind. Many christians conveniently ignore that bit! Oh...and please let's not have the new testament (interpreted and conveniently popular Jesus statement) 'behold all old things have passed away' argument...It's really convenient, isn't it.
The point is the bible is always OPEN to interpretation and NOTHING is ever going to change that. Unless anyone can come out here and say they wrote the bible... or can vouch that bible 'book writers' copied God's Words down 'word for word', verbatim, unaltered and with no interpretation...I'm done here!
I don't think the majority of people who are gay CHOOSE to be gay. Think about it, would u chose to be gay in this society where there are a lot of homophobes. It's not like they get extra benefits or incentives to be gay. I think the majority of people who are gay are born that way. However, given my little degree in psychology, i have come across people who chose to me gay, mainly women because of the abuse they have suffered in the hands of men. But that's by the way.
I think the guy should be there for his brother, just the way he would like his brother to be there for him if the tables were turned. If my only brother came out tomorrow and said he was gay, i would be his number one advocate and would never for one second turn my back on him, cos i want him to be happy and i can understand that the situation would be harder for him than for me.
I don't think being gay is a sin. For anyone who is inclined to be quoting the bible here and there, i bet u guys are turning a blind eye to the part of the bible that talks about premarital sex. So becos "everyone" does it, we can now conveniently ignore that part of the bible right?If anything it's the homophobic people out there who are the sinners. Who died and made anyone God?
The dude needs to be there for his brother. He's still the same brother he has known and loved all these yrs.
I still don't understand why anyone would care who another person chooses to have sex with. Live and let live. Life is too short to be carrying another person's matter on ur head.
@Iwalewa
Let's not fool ourselves:we judge other people all the time.We may not say it,but we do,often based on far more superficial things than sexual orientation.What makes you think this will be any different?
@naijalines
What obsession with homosexuality?Most Nigerians barely even acknowledge it exists.
By the way,which blood transfusion bit are you talking about?You're not talking about that passage Jehovah's Witnesses use to justify refusing blood transfusions,are you?
Back to the topic at hand.He's your brother.You are linked.Nothing,NOTHING changes that.
You may not agree with his lifestyle choices,but you do not shut off family for something like that.You talk with him,you delineate your comfort zone.It's still the same person you grew up with so calm down.Even Dick Cheney didn't repudiate his lesbian daughter.
As for the family,keep your mouth shut.It's a confidence that was entrusted to you and so you keep it until he is ready to talk to your folks.So zip it.
why am i back on this page, i don't know. but i guess i just wanted to say that terming some homophobic just cos they disapprove of homosexuality is just as much being judgemental as d people who disapprove of homosexuals. am afraid, but no word in this world, or media desensitization will make homosexuality acceptable to me. i will not hate someone just cos they are gay, but I WILL NEVER THINK THAT BEING GAY IS OKAY. as for d pre-marital sex, who ever says cos everyone is doing it makes it fine. dat am doing it, does it mean i don't know what am doing wrong? nah. i still do it anyways, knowing fully well dat if there is heaven (am still not completely convinced of that, am afraid), den i won't be admitted into it based on d number of my sins. dat is what is called making a choice. anyone can make a choice 2 PRACTISE homosexuality, but 2 force everyone else to endorse it is just bulls.
najialines, my opinions may be upsetting to u, but pls understand i have just as much right to hold any view i want as u do.
Brova, take heart and do not be in a hurry to do anything about this issue. When u fully calm down. Think about if u cld really do anything to alter the life your brova had chosen. If you believe there is nothing you can do, you might want to try and accept his life style and support him anyway you can and keep seeing him as a brova you love.
@naijlines,
i know about the laws and i still dont see why anyone should grief over them. i remember a neighbourhood dog that always attempted to climb a much bigger male dog,one day, the dog tried it again and the bigger dog out of irritation bit right into the head of the fag dog. My point, even animals know sex is between male and female.
I agree with you about what Nigeria is going through but we shouldnt further complicate issues by accepting or even paying attention to gay rights.
"I'm not sure about being pallies o. What if I'm walking home with a gay friend and you decide to behead both of us? It's not funny o. Shey you get my point?:)"
are you guy? anyway, i love beef, but that doesnt mean i have the guts to stand the slaughtering of the cow.
@ Sprezatura
"are you guy? anyway, i love beef, but that doesnt mean i have the guts to stand the slaughtering of the cow."
Who I sleep with is none of your business. Do you always have to take everything literally? I said 'GAY friend', not gay partner.
Some heterosexual people do have gay friends though I gather from your comments so far that this may be quite difficult for you to comprehend.
You were the one who said you supported the beheading of gay people. Nobody forced it out of your mouth. So if u can't stand the 'slaughtering of the cow' as you put it, I suppose you'd rather have other people do your dirty work for U!!!
@ FREE FLO-FLO
Nobody is forcing anybody to endorse anything. Like you said everyone has a right to express their views...as long as those views are not offensive. This is blogger's 'hateful material' policy:
Is hateful material permitted on Blogger?
Blogger strongly believes in freedom of speech. We believe that having a variety of perspectives is an important part of what makes blogs such an exciting and diverse medium. With that said, there are certain types of content that are not allowed on Blogger. While Blogger values and safeguards political and social commentary, material that promotes hatred toward groups based on race or ethnic origin, religion, disability, gender, age, veteran status, or sexual orientation/gender identity is not allowed on Blogger.
Link: http://help.blogger.com/bin/answer.py?answer=76312&useful=1&show_useful=1&comment=
In any case, I have a right to say that I find a particular comment offensive just as you feel you have a right to express your views. I think the issue lies in HOW those views are expressed.
There is a fine line between expressing a view and being offensive. Someone crossed the line here. Solomonsydelle has deleted the particular comment which most people would definitely find offensive. Supporting or advocating the beheading of human beings because they are homosexual is definitely not just expressing a view! It is inciting hatred and violence against a particular group.
I addressed the person who left the 'beheading' comment personally. I did not address you personally. Consequently I don't think you should take my comments personally. Though I obviously do not agree with your comments.
Whether we like it or not gay pple have their rights. Leave God to judge and don't be the judge.
I dont have anything against them cos even Jesus did not kill the prositute. Rememeber?
Who am I addressing here? Everyone that is taking this issue out of hand.
Whether we like it or not gay pple have their rights. Leave God to judge and don't be the judge.
I dont have anything against them cos even Jesus did not kill the prositute. Rememeber?
Who am I addressing here? Everyone that is taking this issue out of hand.
@naijalines
Sorry just decided to see the comments here and noted your reply earlier post
Obviously its slow day when you wrote the reply..
The reason why I gave that disclaimer was not an attempt to dictate to an individual if they are Christian but to point out that my preceding argument will only be valid if the reader agrees that homosexuality is a sin
The reason for those examples were to highlight the sin factor in humans; the fact that we were not taught to do certain things but knew and know how to do them..
so if homosexuality is indeed a sin, and if we are all born in sin then undoubtedly it is possible for one to be born a homosexual..
get it slow one?
@ everyone: I woke up at 3:30 am and just couldn't go back to sleep. I proceeded to come downstairs to fold up clothes and get a couple chores done. It is now 5:30 am and I made the mistake of looking closely at some of these comments.
People, this is not an issue for us to fight over. It is either you have sensitive and encouraging advice for the reader who sent in this question or not. I never intended this to become a fight, so I implore all of you to please kiss and make up. At this blog, we are all family, even though we might disagree sometimes.
The fighting ends now!
@ ZEPHI FAHRENHEIT
I would not even bother to respond to your insulting comment, as such a reaction would be beneath me. I can only conclude that you react as you've been taught or refuse to be taught by your elders.
NOTE ALL-Am A little Bit Rancid & Comical..I Love Family Guy,South Park,Beavis & Butthead & Digest Mad Mag Hence I Basically Blunt Out At Least Beautifully.
Thanks *solomonsydelle* For Dropping By My Little Cozy Corner Most Especially Bcoz I Thoroughly Enjoy This Part Of Blog Stalking...Like Marco Polo Discovering The New World.I Gat To Commend That Nigerians Have Really Buckled Up The Blog World,But Why All The Cold War And Insults..We Would Forever Have conflicting Views & Opinions But We'r All Adults So We Can Get Along With Our Differences.
Now To The Matter @ Hand Even Though I Know That My Comment On This Issue Is Quite Belated...Fast-Ball=I Currently Reside In Chicago And I Socialize Full Throttle Like The Termite Kingdom As Long As You Got Manners And At Least Some Brains.I Practically Grew Up With The Average Nigeria Mentality(I Dare Say Synonymous To Hypocrisy)All Around Me & All I Did Was Practically Trying To Save My Sanity...Now Homosexuality..Kai!It Reminds Me Of Sodom(Sodomy) & Gomorrah(Gonorrhea)....Before I Left Naija I Had Several Encounters With Gay Dudes,I Was Flattered,Pissed & Amused At The Same Time...And Some Of This Dudes Were Perfect Dream For Any Lady And Pretty Much Awesome But I Dont Do Ar*s...Like I Told Some Of My HomeBoys To Prove My Str8'ness Dat I'd Put In My Will To Be Buried In A Pu**y Shaped Coffin.The Only Ish I Have With Gay Dudes Is The High Rate Of Promiscuity - A Recent Study From One Of The National Health Data Organisation In ATL Statistically Showed That HIV/AIDS Was On Steady Increase Especially Among Blacks Males.
I Love Elton John,George Michael,Luther Vandross.....Its Your Personality I Reckon With Not Your Sexual Orientation Be Straight Or Queer,My Roommate Is Gay And Frankily Its No Big Deal Any More Just That It Would Be Difficult For Many Folks To Accept Coz Its Not Conventional To Start With And I Dont Know How Gay Couple Would Raise A Child Coz That Kid Would Grow Thinking *#^%^....But Just Where Are We Going And I Fear For The Future Coz For The Very First Time I Dont Know Where I Stand Considering All The Factors.So Concerned Bruv,I feel Your Dilemma But Please Let Your Brother Be And Seal Your Lips,The Lesser Of 2 Evils Is Better Since Your Folks Aint That Open-Minded Yet Or Never Will Coz Mine Folks Mustnt Know My Roomie Is A Boystowner & They Would Never Know Even Though They Think Him The Nicest Person On Earth....But We All Have The Right To Be Whatever We Wanna.
Danke Gute Leute!
Kill him...if that'd make you happy. I can't believe I need to read this. A man's life is in a bottle and so darn so-called brother is looking to unto it. KILL HIM! if it'd put a stupid smile on your face and make things right for you. Betterstill, rat on him... because you are the best man among God's creations.
1stly, all this talk of homophobia. That's a word invented by liberals in America & Europe to shut down debate about gay marriage and gay adoption. No one I know prays for a gay child. However, the brother in question should not tell their parents. I know it's hard, but please keep it between yourselves. This news could kill your parents.
And don't abandon your brother either. Fashanu abandoned his brother when he came out and the guy killed himself soon after. You can't stop loving your relative because of how God made them. But I believe homosexuals can be helped to overcome their unnatural urges. There are churches that run these programmes and they do work. There have been testimonies of men who have been helped this way and they even go on to get married and father kids, so it's possible. And if he wants to be open, then that's his choice. As long as he's sensitive to your feelings and respects your parents. A lot of great guys who have achieved wonders in the world are homosexual - da Vinci, Alexander the Great, the economist Galbraith, to name a few. A lot of musicians, artists and very talented people generally are homosexual. God made them. Only God can explain how they are the way they are. Rather a decent homosexual in the family than a heterosexual thief or rapist. Think about it.
Meanwhile, he's still your brother. And the bit about your driver is relevant. Child abuse victims can end up confused and messed up. Also suggest he gets counselling about the abuse he suffered as a kid. God bless you & your brother. But please don't reject him, and help him through this great difficulty. And once again, keep your lips sealed where mum & dad are concerned. I also doubt it's genetic. It can't be since gays can't beget gays.
There's a Christian Charity in USA based in Orlando, FL, & Wisconsin and Alabama that help homosexuals find freedom through Jesus. After reading your story found this on the net, their website is below. Hope you find it helpful. God bless!
http://www.exodusinternational.org/
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