DISCIPLINING THE KING
Monday, April 21, 2008
How many of you know what a koboko is? Come on, put your hands up so I can see properly. Eh hehn. Good. lol!
Koboko is a whip/tree branch/twig that is used to discipline/flog/terrorize people in Nigeria. Teachers will actually ask their students to come to class with their own koboko and prepare for a serious lashing. Soldiers used to use it to 'lash' civilians during one of the older military dictatorships (was that Buhari's? I think so).
Anyway, in my house, my children's stubbornness has forced me to resort to a 'koboko'. Yes, my people! I know you are supposed to talk to your children and help them understand things, but by God who made me, I have 3 rambunctious children and sometimes the only way to get my children to focus, particularly my boys, is by breaking out my 'koboko'.
The 'koboko' I use is not the average twig many of you might remember from your student days. Oh, no, my 'koboko' is fancy. In fact, it came from my husband's country, the Commonwealth of Dominica, an island in the Caribbean (big shout out to Wai'tukubili!). It is called a 'wife leader'. Yup, you read right, but you can read it out loud to yourself just to make doubly sure.
a 'wife leader' from the Commonwealth of DominicaThe original inhabitants of Dominica were Carib Indians (Dominica's original name was Wai'tukubuli, hence the shout out above) and part of their tradition was for a husband to put a wife leader on his wife. He would then lead her around as he went about his business. Well, I didn't see anyone leading their wife on a wife leader when i went to Dominica in 2007, but people do give wife leaders as presents to new brides.
it is attached to the pinky fingerAnyway, in my house, 'wife leader' has become 'koboko'. It is used judiciously to spank TK. Yes, him. The guy refuses to sleep at nap time and instead looks out his window shouting at people below! Don't worry, the window is always closed. But his fascination with looking out his window has led him to break the blinds not once, but twice! And, this is where the 'wife leader'/koboko comes in handy. Whenever he refuses to sleep, I simply come into his room holding the 'wife leader'. Mehn, you should see the way the guy flies into his bed. If I make the mistake of coming into his room without the 'wife leader', the guy just looks at me and smiles with a look that says "I know you're not going to spank me. Sucker!" So you see why I need it? In fact, the wife leader's permanent residence is right on top of TK's bedroom door, see?
the wife leader's permanent residenceAlthough, I have a new technique that works when TK is having a tantrum (he's in that terrible 2 stage, you know). I simply walk over to him and whisper a stern warning in his ear. Can you believe that it works? You have no idea how nice it is to see my son go from level 10 to level 1 in 3 seconds flat! The guy knows now that if does not cooperate, i will not hesitate to break out my koboko.
And, if you are wondering why we have a 'wife leader' in my house, it is because my husband thought it would be funny. He insisted on buying it as a reminder to me on how good I've got it. After all, in his mind, I could be one of those women being led by her mate around town. I laughed then and laugh now. Oga dey forget say i be proper Nija babe. Before then put that kain thing for my finger I go just were/craze/act crazy for them. I would remove my gele and my earrings and pull some Oshodi/Balogun market woman stunts! hahaha. They would have to kill me first. Walahi! lol! And, I'll confess, I bought one for a couple of my girlfriends, sha.
Well, enjoy the rest of your week. Make sure you read the last mini-post from Saturday called 'Thanks'. On Friday, we have a new question that will require your assistance. A young lady needs help with the sort of suitors she attracts. I will not pose the question to the kids as the subject matter is a little heavy but hope you guys will have some creative ideas to help the lady. Don't forget to send in your questions for the 'Talk to the Easier Crew' segments. Also, are there any questions that you would like to ask me about anything - me, the kids, life, Nigeria, whatever? If so, feel free to contact me.
Finally, I know I am late, but I just discovered this Ghanaian musician, Kwabena Kwabena. He has this song called 'Aso', that I cannot get out of my head. I am quite disappointed that he does not have a video for this song online even though it came out in 2006 or 2007. Kwabena, if you happen to read this, "bra" - come and give us a video nah, chale! I hope that my Ghanaian crew (yes, oh, I have Ghanaian family and friends) will appreciate this song on the blog and please forgive this Youtube clip, but it was the only one I could find. And, the guy who made it tried, even though I clueless to the computer game it depicts, I thank him for making it. Let me know your thoughts on the song, especially you, Nogo...
And, yay! Catwalq Academie is back!!!!
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April 21, 2008 2:00 PM
ME :)
April 21, 2008 2:04 PM
INDEED! Welcome to the number one spot, madam! How Lopes? I dey come your side now now. =)
April 21, 2008 2:06 PM
No update so far. Have been offline for a while. Pre birthday blues again :) Or do you mean, you dey come London? Where is my message??
April 21, 2008 2:36 PM
pre-birthday blues ke? Mo, don't be that way. Smile and be happy. You are incredibly fortunate and absolutely blessed and the Lord will always be your strength. Okay?
April 21, 2008 2:40 PM
Have updated now :) BTW, the feed thing email always gets to me the day after you updated. Just happened to be stalking you this evening. Please post me one Wife Leader. Lopes has seen my wooden spoon finish!
April 21, 2008 3:09 PM
lol! will take a look at my feed instructions and make the necessary changes... Thanks for letting me know!
April 21, 2008 6:49 PM
LOLLLLL @ the wife leader's PERMANENT position. Mama TK, did ur mummy put any koboko on top of ur own room door? I'm feeling sorry for TK o...but then again, his mischievious grin when u enter his room without the "wife leader" just makes u want to spank him, abi? Lol (I see where u're coming from now...he he he).
Loll @ the "wife leader" philosophy. They can't do that one to any naija babe o. For where?
As per the youtube video, I'm totally clueless as well (even tho the song is making me gyrate my head)...lol.
April 21, 2008 8:13 PM
lol@wife leader.
April 21, 2008 8:43 PM
Interesting! At least the use of the wife bleader has been upgraded to that of a koboko. It funny how u only need to whisper in his ears.
April 22, 2008 3:35 AM
all i have to do is to encourage ur kids to "chat" with the police and your koboko will disappear fast.lollllllllllllllllll
Abeg spank ur kids sometimes. as bible self approve spanking.
Naija babes to the core. you wan show balogun "moves" for them. infact you must not forget to remove the shoes then tie ur gele round ur waist. lol
April 22, 2008 4:56 AM
Lol @ your koboko, wife leader indeed.
I remember dealing with a Terrible Two - its awesome that one whisper sets your boy straight. I remember with my Mom, there was a particular look that had my sister and I in our places for sure!
-Hope all's well with you?
April 22, 2008 5:23 AM
wait wait, i want 2 fully understand wot d wife leader does. as in, it's 4 flogging d woman into submission?? or just 2 brand d woman as married?
my dear eh, i had one aunty dat was into dis american crap of 'please don't beat d children', until her 18 months child lied abt stealing food 4rm d fridge. she flog sense into d poor boy dat day eh.
sometimes, dat discipline is necessary. i hope not 2 flog my children, but by jove if they misbehave, dem go see am
April 22, 2008 5:25 AM
hmm, i ddnt know ur husband was dominician. i always assumed he was nigerian. well, d good thing abt it is if u wan yarn talk wey u no want am 2 hear, u just revert 2 our thick pidgin or go native... lol
d bad side to it is: he just do d same 2 u too
April 22, 2008 5:34 AM
i'm wiv FFFlorida here, where exactly does it stay on the woman since it's attached to the man's pinky?
i was just goin to put up a post about my 3yr old cousin, the boy fears nothing!i'm tired of spanking him sef!and he gets naughtier and "mouthier" by the day, pls i need one wife leader jare.
cyber hugs to TE,TK and officer Bomboy.
April 22, 2008 8:38 AM
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April 22, 2008 8:38 AM
O ma se o, I feel for TK sha he is actually sleeping with the enemy i.e. the wakabuticsomething thingy - lol.
Yes bring on the questions we will try to contribute our quota jare.
Laters
April 22, 2008 10:11 AM
Koboko is not a tree/branch oh...
It is woven from pure cow leather...I was trashed enough to research it...now lemme go read the rest...
April 22, 2008 10:13 AM
Christtttttttttttttt babe, u married a Dominican man???
Your kids must be extremly cuteeeee..
abeg send his brothers/cousins/fellow Dominican's no..
Ok lemme get back to the post..
April 22, 2008 10:15 AM
Mennnn the position of that wife leader no be am oh..
You trying to scare the living daylights out of him???
April 22, 2008 10:18 AM
Ah, it’s the best way, although I didn't appreciate it when I was younger, I definatley appreciate it now. And wouldn't change a thing if I could, because that helped me become the respectful child that people say I am now lol
When a child steps out of line, tell em off, if they persist, then show them the koboko...and it usually puts them in line.
you know I’ve seen so much parents on TV that take shit from their kids, imagine, i was watching (something nanny can’t remember) basically parents call this nanny to sort out, out of hand kids. I saw this girl spit on the dads face after giving him a hot slap.
This is what parents get from talking to the kids.
If they had koboko in their life, it would have Neva happen
I’m sorry for rambling on, but on day, I saw something I never thought ild see before, a white family walking in the road, the mum was holding the daughter and the dad was walking with the son.
The boy tried to cross the road, where alot of cars where passing by..the dad gave this the hardest sound slap ive ever seen in my life, it was disgusting, i didn't expect it at all, well at least not from him
I bet that boy wouldn't repeat that in his life again. Well the main point is that, a bit of a smack once in a while puts a child in check.
April 22, 2008 10:18 AM
wow, sorry its so long
April 22, 2008 11:23 AM
Eee yah, poor TK... That thing is scary o! But I do understand where you're coming from with the idea, children sometimes need more than just "talk"...
On the other hand, the wife-leader theory had me laughing hard! Around the neck? That must have been hilarious!
And I'm with AfroBabe here... Does Oga have some single brother/cousin/nephew/whatever available?
Lol!
April 22, 2008 12:38 PM
lol@ the koboko. It is quite necessary sometimes. Gosh where did you find those pictures? You are too much..lol
April 22, 2008 2:17 PM
Ah SSD, na war o. You lucky say child protection peeps no dey read your blog hehehe.
On a more serious note Tom-tom my 22 month old daughter could do with a bit of koboko right now. She's had the terrible two's for the last 12 months (I think they start early these days) and it seems to be getting worse. It's just constant crying and attention seeking 24/7. Nanny 911, help!!!
April 22, 2008 2:43 PM
hehehehe, I'm loving "going from level 10 to level 1 in 3 seconds flat!" Reminds me of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsst
*sighs, here I go again! Lol...
April 23, 2008 7:30 AM
it's allowed...lol {it's real fancy, an upgrade 4rm 'koboko'}
Keep up d gud work.
April 23, 2008 9:39 AM
yes o, koboko is allowed lol!!, but wat does oga think abt u using it on TK?
April 23, 2008 9:59 AM
lol!
Kids and their fear of whipping. It always keeps them in check.
Didnt know you were married to a non-nigerian. So how is it, i mean being married to a foreigner?
April 23, 2008 10:03 AM
chai! koboko. menh u just took me way back to my high school dayz. i got wooped so many times with ish. it stings. but in a few seconds the pain is gone.
ur domican hubby must be cute. am sure tk is a cutey. abeg easy ohhh.
April 23, 2008 10:03 AM
chai! koboko. menh u just took me way back to my high school dayz. i got wooped so many times with ish. it stings. but in a few seconds the pain is gone.
ur domican hubby must be cute. am sure tk is a cutey. abeg easy ohhh.
April 23, 2008 12:36 PM
p.s. according to Dbanj, "koboko" means something else o, so stick to "wife leader"pls...lol
April 23, 2008 5:54 PM
Oh, the good ol' koboko days. LOL.
April 23, 2008 8:27 PM
gosh, i rem those days wey dem dey trash our yansh like crazy with this koboko.
i used to be the laughing stock, cos i just cant endure that pain...i will scratch my bumbum so hard in confusion that everyone will roll on the floor laughing at me...lol
April 23, 2008 8:28 PM
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April 24, 2008 5:27 AM
I beg send some koboko to this london children they are really naughty.lol.........nice post
April 24, 2008 6:34 AM
LOL!! The wife leader lives right on top of TK's bedroom door. Poor baby can't afford to mess up. lol...
April 24, 2008 6:55 AM
Couldnt stop laughing as i read thru this post...as in buhahahaa!...koboke ke?....eeyah!
I know little ones can be really anoyying, eventhough i haven't had my kids yet but been around many anyways!
LOL....mehn the koboko is fashionable!!!.....LOL
nICE ONE!!!
April 24, 2008 8:20 AM
imagine me waking up to the sight of my mum holding a cane, for weeks i'll be changed from lil terror to an angel till my memory lapses......lol.
April 24, 2008 12:24 PM
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April 24, 2008 12:24 PM
Mummy bomboy, i ve got a question for you..
April 24, 2008 3:37 PM
I like the song...I'll find a way to get it on my lappy...hehehe. Erm...as per ur saturday mornng post...lmao....that must have sucked, you know,...for "Larry"...hahaha
"if u spare the rod, you spoil the child"...plus words sha!...they have no meaning to an infant so Ride on with the wifeleader.
April 24, 2008 4:14 PM
Babes how far, LOL@ koboko, abeg take am easy o, did Auntie flog u like that? but its ok cause I want Bomboy to be trained as per he's potential inlaw, no worry at this rate he just might end up 5 years older than little unborn Ada :-)
April 24, 2008 8:21 PM
shuddering at the though of koboko
April 25, 2008 4:36 AM
oh my! i have heard 2 is an age one has to be careful with kids, meanhwile whispering in Tk's ears reminds me of Shirley whispering ''Denny Crane'' into Denny's ears in Boston Legal..lol has a powerful effect on him! LMAO
April 25, 2008 5:08 AM
SSD, how many times I call you? Abeg, make social workers no catch you oooh. Anyway, since you be proper Naija chic, you go dodge dem.
Thanks for hollering and waking me up from my slumber!
April 25, 2008 2:42 PM
that koboko looks like it will be more painful than the sticks.
April 25, 2008 5:47 PM
awww ur boo is dominican? i had no idea. I always wondered what it's be like not to be with a nigerian.
I like the fact that u and TK have come to a very nice agreement. His koboko looks very nice! lol!
'ef babe'
April 25, 2008 7:43 PM
wonderful post!!!...that koboko!...na wa o!!...the story and its permanent residence!!...haha...
...and wow!!...that song brought back joyful memories of summer 2006...i remember hearing this song in cars and at the club...unfortunately my friend didn't download it for me...will look for it...shei you know i am perched here dancing to this jam...i love hiplife!!!...
April 26, 2008 8:13 PM
The video isnt available anymore :(
Lmao@ wife leader. I was wondering how it would stay on the pinky but i guess it would when you pulled it?
Why in the name of chrischringle would ANYONE want their wife with them 247?!
and omg, i hope i dont ever resort to hitting my kids if i ever have them because when i hit, i REALLY hit!
April 27, 2008 4:38 PM
Ahhhh hands up! Hands up! I know koboko!!! Me an my 1/2 or 1/3 ghanian self know it ooohh... lol - good old days... Auntie life at the moment is crazy! I've seen all your lovely messages and have read the Nigerian curiosity AND posted the link on facebook in my status last week. Even in my silence I am forver stalking you. I hope evryone is fine and healthy and I laughed at the pics of your wife leader! Hahaha!!! Your children!! Auntie I love you ! Must dash. My last week of Uni yeaaaahhhhh!!! See you in a month! xoxo Love to all
April 27, 2008 4:39 PM
I will come back for that video! I'm at Uni and have no headphones with me :( xoxo
April 28, 2008 6:08 AM
im callin child services. koboko,imalso callin animal; activists
April 29, 2008 11:47 AM
That koboko is something serious! Kai, I fear you o.
April 29, 2008 4:13 PM
I need to put in an order for two kobokos please. Thank you!!!!!
April 29, 2008 5:02 PM
Mo gbe!!!!
all i didwas go and write my exam and you are brutalising my husband like this
*sob* u will see
aaaahhhh mo daran
won ti na oko mi....aaaaa
ko buru
ee riran wo
May 5, 2008 5:06 PM
I love the song! Going to Ghana soon!!! :D But the video irritates me... Maybe because I don't understand its relevance... Lol Can't wait for July...
May 26, 2008 2:22 PM
Hehehe Koboko... that certainly takes me back. The function of koboko is currently filled by the household "omorogun" (Spatula?). While never deployed, the mere threat of it is enough to get co-operation...