Thursday, May 31, 2007

BIG SISTER DUTIES

Once we knew we were to have a third child, we decided that we had to teach The Enforcer to be as self-reliant as possible. We made sure she was aware that we would expect her to be even more helpful than before.

So, she became potty trained, became responsible for The King, and I even threatened that she needed to learn how to change diapers so she could change Bomboy's diapers once he arrived.

Now, this changing diaper thing, I figured she should only change Bomboy's diapers because it wouldn't be fair to change TK's diapers since even his own parents despise changing them.

Well, this morning, Husband and I were having some 'boo' time, relaxing in front of the tv. Nice times. The King came downstairs and boo time came to a screeching halt. The stench that followed in his wake was deadly. His sister just laughed at us.

I looked at Husband and said, "That's all you, dear."
He looked at me and said, "Um, you better change your son..."
We then spent five minutes in a heated discussion over who should change TK's diaper. The boy simply giggled and ran back and forth spreading his doodoo stink all over the living room.

Next thing, my daughter said, "I'll change TK's diaper."
Husband and I stared at her in astonishment. Although she had spoken clearly, I could not believe what I heard. I asked, "What did you say, mama." She replied "I'll change his diaper, mommy."

So, me, being a good loving mother, I tell my child no, that I will change the stinky diaper. My husband on the other hand says, "Ah, let the girl change the diaper."

And so, my poor daughter went and got the wipes box and a diaper. Her brother lay on the floor laughing while she wiped his bottom. Her father directed the exercise like a backseat driver, "Over there...yes... good job..." I'm sitting in the corner laughing when I hear him tell my daughter "lift his penis...good job." At that point, my laughter gets hysterical.

Oh my God, my poor daughter! Well, she cleaned her brother up and put on his diaper (with daddy's assistance, of course). She then washed her hands. All I could think was wow, what a big girl! Her big sister duties have started in earnest, though I don't know if I'll let her change any of that boy's big doodoo diapers again. She can change her brother Bomboy's diaper anytime. I'm just so proud of my brave (because you have to be brave to attempt the task) daughter.

Until next time, y'all....

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

THE NIGERIAN PROCLAMATION

THE NIGERIAN PROCLAMATIONIN RECENT HISTORY, NIGERIANS HAVE BEEN OVERWHELMINGLY BETRAYED BY THOSE CHARGED WITH ADDRESSING THEIR NEEDS. INSTEAD OF SERVING THE PEOPLE, PUBLIC SERVANTS HAVE SERVED THEMSELVES TO THE DETRIMENT OF THE MASSES.

THE RESULT IS A NATION LACKING ADEQUATE INFRASTRUCTURE, ORGANIZATION AND SECURITY. THE INEFFECTIVENESS OF NIGERIAN LEADERS INDICATES A LACK OF ACCOUNTABILITY TO THE CONSTITUENTS.

NIGERIANS ARE NO LONGER RELEVANT TO THE LEADERS, THUS, LEADERS DO NOT FEEL RESPONSIBLE TO THEM. THE RECENT FAILURE TO CONDUCT A FREE AND FAIR ELECTORAL PROCESS WAS YET ANOTHER ILLUSTRATION THAT THE NEEDS OF THE MANY ARE SECONDARY TO THE WANTS OF THE IMPORTANT FEW.

FROM THIS DAY, ALL NIGERIANS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FUTURE OF THIS GREAT & POWERFUL COUNTRY. CONSEQUENTLY, ALL NIGERIANS MUST COMMIT THEMSELVES TO THE FOLLOWING:

  1. WE MUST DEMAND THAT ELECTED OFFICIALS BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS AND IN-ACTIONS.
  2. WE MUST EXPECT DEMOCRATIC PRINCIPLES TO BE HONORED, RESPECTED AND MAINTAINED.
  3. WE MUST BELIEVE THAT ALL NIGERIANS ARE EQUAL UNDER THE LAW AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH.
  4. WE MUST APPLY OURSELVES TO IMPROVING THE LOT OF EVERY INDIVIDUAL NIGERIAN REGARDLESS OF GENDER, RELIGION, TRIBE OR SOCIAL STATUS.
  5. WE MUST STRIVE TO MAINTAIN A UNITED REPUBLIC DESPITE OUR DIFFERENCES.

ONLY UPON ACHIEVING THESE PRINCIPLES CAN WE AS A PEOPLE FULLY LIVE UP TO OUR POTENTIAL AS A LAND OF GREATNESS. FOR OURS IS A COUNTRY RENOWNED FOR ITS ILLUSTRIOUS PEOPLE, AMPLE RESOURCES AND SHEER PHYSICAL BEAUTY.

Friday, May 25, 2007

YAMFRONTATION

My kids have distinct food identities. TK is a real Nigerian/West Indian man. He wants 'real' food - yam, plantain, iyan (pounded yam), ogbono soup (Melon soup), chicken . And get one thing clear, you can not mess with the man's food because that brings him joy. Don't believe me, read the recent post about jerk chicken for enlightenment. LOL! Now, my dainty daughter, TE, wants pretty, non-messy food - chicken fingers, yogurt, fruit, waffles etc. She also happens to be a picky eater. I can't fault her for that because, she clearly got it from me. As for, Bomboy, he is a no-nonsense man when it comes to food. You better give it to him when he wants it, or else...

Anyway, back to the story at hand. The other day, I fed the kids lunch. TE had macaroni and cheese with fish sticks (cute food), while TK had rice, chicken stew and fried plantain (Nigerian/West Indian food). Well upon completion of their meals, I took TE upstairs for nap time, tucked her in and gave her a kiss.

I came back downstairs, took my older son out of his high chair and stripped him of his clothes which by now were stained with stew. I put the child in the sink and rinsed him off. Upon putting him on the floor, the boy took off. I couldn't catch up with him (he's pretty wily). So, I went to the living room to sit down and feed Bomboy. I figured TK would come to me eventually.

After about 10 minutes, I noticed that the kitchen was awfully quiet. I called out, "King!"but got no response. I called again, "King, come here." No response.

I put some base in my voice (to convey my seriousness, because these silly children of mine do not take me seriously until I spank them). This time, I bellowed, "KING, COME ON, GET OVER HERE MY FRIEND" (apply your best Nigerian mom voice and accent to that one. You get my drift).

All of a sudden, my son giggled and I heard his footsteps come closer. I looked in his direction and there he was holding a huge piece of cooked yellow yam. When feeding the kids, I had removed a container of cooked yam from the fridge. I forgot to put it back but left it on the kitchen counter. That silly boy reached up to the counter (he's really short, I promise), grabbed the Glad container, opened it and started taking big bites out of the yam like it was a cake or something.

I laughed so hard, but I didn't take the yam from him. I decided that was a battle I was not ready for. The boy would have cried and probably called Child Protection Services on me, if I dared. No, I thought, leave this for Husband to deal with.

So, I acted as if there was nothing unusual with a little toddler chomping on cooked yam sans stew or anything. Just yam going from hand to mouth. Next thing, Husband walked into the living room. "Hey baby" he said to me. "You won't believe it!" he continued, "I did so well at golf today. I managed to beat..." He stopped in mid sentence. He finally saw his young son stomping around the living room, big belly exposed, yam halfway to his mouth.

"Ah, what? WHY IS THAT BOY EATING MY YAM!" (LOL! OMG, I just had to take a break from typing. I can't see the keyboard, what with tears running down my face right now. Okay, deep breath. Continue...).

My husband looked at me and accused, "Why did you give that boy that big piece of yam? It is not a snack. Besides I was waiting to come home and eat it. You know how expensive yam is..."

I looked at the wonderful man I married and calmly showed him that I am busy holding his third child. I explain that I was too busy taking care of our newborn to give TK yam. I then explained how the boy got his hands on it.

"No way," Husband said and walked over to the boy. He grabbed, no, yanked the yam out of his hand and the relative peace and quiet in the house came to a startling end.

My poor son's face switched from sheer delight to absolute horror and then clear pain. "WAAAAAAA" he screamed. Husband wisely cut a small piece of yam and gave to the boy. "Okay, okay, okay, here. Take, take." He begged. "Stop crying, TK." He pleaded, as my poor son sobbed.

All I did was laugh my @$$ off. Yes, I could have prevented this 'yamfrontation' from happening in the first place. But, watching the events play out was nothing other than PRICELESS!

If na you nko, wetin you for do....
(What would you have done?)

So here is my version of those Master Card commercials -

6lbs of yam from the local Nigerian Store - $10
Pot of yummy chicken stew to eat with yam - $8
The King and Husband battling in a Yamfrontation - PRICELESS
For everything else, there's Master Card.

Abeg, don't mind me in my silliness. Have a wonderful weekend!!!!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

THE NIGERIAN PROCLAMATION

Hey blog fam. Sorry for the delay in updating. It isn't that wild things aren't happening over here, because believe me they are...it's just that I have been frantically working on a little project called THE NIGERIAN PROCLAMATION.

Take some time to check it out.

I will put some new stuff up tomorrow. Wait until you hear what TK did with his father's yam....

Sunday, May 20, 2007

HE LOVES HIS FOOD ....

A family tradition is to season a thick whole chicken and slow cook it in the oven at Thanksgiving. I season the chicken with special garlic seasoning, seasoned salt, cayenne pepper, thyme, rosemary and then, I top it off with Jerk sauce and leave it in the fridge for at least 48 hours. I then stuff it with crumbled corn bread mixed with chicken stock and sliced jalapeno peppers. Once thoroughly cooked, I serve it with yummy coconut rice and other delicacies.

Well, I sometimes treat husband to this whole chicken meal during the year because he loves chicken and quite frankly, his middle name should have been 'Chicken'. So, I bought my chicken 3 days ago, seasoned it, let it marinate and brought it out today for some good, slow cookin'.

From the minute my son saw me bring out the big bowl from the fridge, his eyes lit up. I didn't think anything of it - after all, he couldn't possibly know what was in it right? Later on in the evening, I brought out a PYREX pan, placed the chicken in it, mopped off some of the Jerk sauce, added some additional salt and sprayed some Olive oil on it so that it would bake and give me a crunchy top (ahh, delicious). Again, I noticed my son watching me with serious attention. No biggie, I thought.

Well, like his father, TK is impatient, particularly when it comes to food. He watched me bring out the bird the first time to check it and baste it. He silently watched me and when I put it back in the oven, he went off to play with his sister. The second time I brought it out, he again watched silently. Now, the third time - boy, was he agitated! He walked up close, but not too close because he always gets into trouble when he gets too close to the oven while I'm cooking. This time when I put the chicken back in the oven, my son cried out and RAN over to the oven, put his hands on the window and looked lovingly inside. I turned on the light so he could watch the chicken and he did so happily. He stared for a long time, got a slightly sad look on his face and then walked away to play.

I am happy to report that once I brought the chicken out the final time and Husband (who asked "Where's my chicken", every 5 minutes!) started cutting it up, my son smiled and yelled "Yay" while clapping his hands in anticipation of the yummy, succulent, deliciousness that is baked Jerk chicken at our house. Isn't it nice that my son appreciates my cooking? Well, I think he just appreciates food in general, but I can always hope it's my incredible cooking, instead. LOL!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

STUMPED!!!! EPISODE 3

Today, we were watching one of my favorite African music videos. In it, a gentleman was flinging dollar bills around while the artist was dancing.

Next thing, TE says, "He's not supposed to throw money on Aunty, mama."

I smile at her and continue what I am doing.

A few seconds later, she says, "Mama, he's throwing cash. Very naughty."

It got me thinking. Nigerians have been dashing dancers money from as long as I can remember, right? Now, in all these videos, people just 'waste' money everywhere. The rap videos are even worse because you see rappers wasting money on booty-clapping women. I see a distinct difference between the Nigerian tradition and the rap-video behavior. How will my daughter be able to distinguish one from the other? (Not that she watches rap, but she will one day).

But back to the here and now. How do I respond to her very wise comment that throwing money around is wrong given my love for getting money on the dance floor (Nija style)?

Stumped!!!!

Here's the video for your viewing pleasure.

Monday, May 14, 2007

GODMOTHER'S DAY

All three of my children have Godmothers. As for Godfathers - well, that was Husband's responsibility and let's just say he hasn't quite lived up to it. lol!

Anyway, the 3 Godmothers were very essential during my pregnancy and on d-day (delivery day) as they ran shifts at the hospital looking after TK and TE and keeping them entertained while Husband and I were off having a baby.

So, as mother's day just came and went in the U.S., I was trying to figure out what to do to show the G-mamas my appreciation. And, that's when it came to me - Godmother's Day! Consequently, I have officially ordained the first Saturday after Mother's Day as Godmother's day. It's a day to show your appreciation for the Godmother's of your children. I plan on celebrating it every year.

This year, I am taking the 3 G-mamas out to brunch somewhere in the D.C. metropolitan area. I personally would love to take them to Perry's for their Drag Queen brunch on Sundays. (If you don't know about this, then you better ask somebody ....). But, I have asked the ladies to figure out a place. Perry's is kind of pricey but the ladies definitely deserve the best considering how well they took care of me and the kids over the year. Therefore, price will not be a consideration. Um...kind of.

So, are you a Godmother or do you have a Godmother for your kids? Have any plans to show some appreciation to them or am I just a sucker for holidays? Let me know ....

Sunday, May 13, 2007

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

Here's wishing a happy mother's day to all the moms and all the ladies that will be moms.

Make sure you show the moms in your life a lot of love!!!!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

HOW TO GET TO EUROPE....

This one will make you chuckle....

1. Go to www.google.com

2. click on "maps"

3. click on "get directions"

4. type "Toronto" in the first (from) box

5. type "Paris" in the second (to) box

6. click "Get Directions"

7. read and then scroll down to step #26

HAVE A GOOD DAY!

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

EEEWWWW, NASTY .....

Every morning, TE wakes up and goes into TK's room to play. This morning-playtime can sometimes last from around 7 am to 9 am. When they are ready for breakfast, TE simply opens TK's door and down they come. As long as no one is crying, Husband and I typically ignore the noise and sleep in as long as we can.

Well, it was the same thing today only something nasty came downstairs with them. Apparently, TK pooped something fierce that even his sister had to escape from his stench filled room! (Trust me, that boy may only be 18 months old but his poop smells like that of an old nasty man, not that I would know what that smells like ...).

His poop was so nasty that Husband had to hose him down in the yard!!! Upon further investigation, more poop was discovered on the boy's bedsheets. How disgusting! Even Husband cringed and noted that that was the worst baby poop he had ever faced.

So, congratulations, TK, you have accomplished a feat deemed unimaginable - you have managed to disgust even your father with your nasty doo doo!

LOL!

Saturday, May 5, 2007

ANOTHER PARENT CHILD INTERACTION YOU DON'T WANT TO EMULATE...

I have always been weary of addictive items - cigarettes, marijuana, hard drugs and many other things in between. I don't think I have an addictive personality, but I realized from an early age that anything can be addictive and ANYBODY can become an addict.

So, I was looking at comments from the last post and noticed that Calabar Gal mentioned the David Hasselhoff fiasco. The man got drunk and apparently instructed his daughter to film him when he gets drunk so he can watch it and hopefully get back on track to becoming sober. Well, I kinda wish he hadn't because I watched the video and it makes me feel very sad.

I don't mean to criticise the Hof - he is an adult and if he wants to get wasted, that's his problem. But, to hear the pain and possibly disappointment in his daughter's voice was too much to bear. It is sad when a child is more mature than a parent. He is very lucky that his daughter cared enough to lecture him about his failure to remain sober. She even pointed out that he could lose his job for getting drunk. She was clearly saying anything and everything to get to her father. I can't help but wonder what her future will be like. Will she end up an addict herself? Or, will she end up with an addictive man as a mate? I guess I watch too much Law & Order and thus can't help but foresee these various scenarios.

Nobody is perfect and it just so happens that we got to see this man's imperfections. Hopefully we can all learn from this embarrassing video. I watched it once and never want to see it again. Here's wishing him and others like him the best of luck. They will need it, luck that is, to fight and defeat their demons.

As I noted in a comment to Calabar Gal, this video could be a PSA (Public Service Announcement) on staying away from drugs and alcohol. It could and is also an unintended PSA on parent-child interactions that you don't want to emulate. There seem to be a lot of them in the news lately. Anyway, word to the wise - if you are unable to indulge in a reasonable amount and do not know your limit, please get help and stay away from addictive items - all of them!


Friday, May 4, 2007

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

Did you hear about the Alec Baldwin drama? You know, the message he left on his daughter's voice mail? Well, today on FOX NEWS, the issue was revisited when Mr. Baldwin apparently failed to show up in court for some hearing on getting his parental privileges back (they were suspended, post voice mail).

Isn't this old news? Why is Fox still pushing this issue? Why did anyone care in the first place? There are so many more important things happening, some guy losing his cool with his tween-age daughter is not one of them.

Or am I missing something? So what if he called her a "thoughtless little pig"? Is that all he said to her? Please! Growing up, parents would use some really tough words to straighten out their kids. 'Alakoba!', 'Oni buruku!', 'Idiot', 'Isi ewu' or my mom's favorite "You have no common sense." Now those words hurt. In fact, I have heard some Americans drop the b-word, f-word and all sorts of purely vulgar terminology when 'cussing' out their kids in public. Now that should require media attention.

Listen, all I'm saying is that kids can be difficult, parents can lose their cool and mean things can be said. It is by no mans proper to demean and insult your children for any reason, but, if a parent is going to lose it and call a child 'thoughtless' or 'rude' then so be it. For all we know, his terminology might actually be adequate portrayals of the young girl. I just think he should be ashamed of himself for not knowing her age. Now, that's bad!!!

Anyway, here is the voice mail message. Let me know, abeg, am I missing something? I just don't see the big deal ....

THE 3RD ANNUAL CELEBRATING AFRICAN MOTHERHOOD SOIREE

I thought I would share information on this wonderful event that is just around the corner - May 12th.

AN EVENT FOR SOCIALLY CONSCIOUS AND FABULOUSLY CHIC AFROPOLITANS!!

The Celebrating African Motherhood (CAM) organization honors outstandingwomen of African descent who have impacted the community artistically, socially, and politically. Our 3rd annual CAM soiree (benefiting Africare) is on the eve of Mother's Day & will be hosted by Shawn Yancy of Fox 5 News. Pre and post coverage by Miss Alimatu Garuba, Miss Nigeria in USA'06. Please visit our website for program details and pictures of last years soiree:
http://www.camotherhood.org/news.html

Celebrating African Motherhood (CAM) Hosts 3rd Annual Soiree
THEME: "HONORING AFRICAN WOMEN IN THE ARTS"
BENEFICIARY: Africare's Women's Initiative for Sex Education (WISE) Project
When: Saturday, May 12, 2007 6:00PM-10:00PM ET
Where: The Madison Hotel 1177 Fifteenth St. NW, Washington, DC 20005
HOST: Shawn Yancy, Fox 5 News

This year's CAM soiree focuses on women in the arts and honors:.

Angelique Kidjoe, Benin: 4x Grammy Award Nominee & Children's Right Advocate.
Regina Askia, Nigeria: Former Miss Nigeria & International Actress. Raynor van der Merwe, South Africa: Artistic Director of ETAP.
Afua Sam, Ghana: Haute Couture Designer, Studio D-Maxsi..

Highlights of the evening include lavish cuisine, uniquely themed drinks, breathtaking opera & cultural performances, live music, deluxe raffle drawing and more.

Ms. Nicole Lee of Transafrica Forum is scheduled to Keynote the event.


Hope to see you there!!!!!