Thursday, March 29, 2007

THE ENFORCER IS 3!!!!!!

Woke up this morning and the first thing that came to mind was "Oh. my God, she is 3". I can't believe it. It seems like only last week when we realized we were preggers and only yesterday when we had her.

She has cried, cursed me out (in baby speak, of course), gone to the emergency room (for a mild concussion she got while dancing. Yes, I explain at a later point), kept us up at night with an ear infection, caught colds, become her brother's very adequate keeper and the house Enforcer. All this is in a span of 3 years! Amazing.

I have to have a 'give God a shout-out moment' at this point - THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!! Words will never fully express our gratitude, but we try anyway.

Happy Birthday, Mama! I know I am a lot more excited than you are, after all, you are still a little girl. Well, no, I think Grananana is even more excited, being that you are her first, and only female, grand daughter. Anyway, may your life be blessed with happiness, good people, kindness, satisfaction and peace, in JC's name. Amen.

Okay, that concludes my 'give God a shout-out moment' for today. I am off to feed children and run around planning this luau.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

HE PUT ON HIS DANCING SHOES

Ah, my son did something I have never seen him do today. He danced, y'all!!!! Well, okay, the proper description of what he did is that he bobbed up and down and waved his hands up and down.

His sister and I were dancing this morning while Husband worked downstairs. Don't know what was playing, but TK rolled up beside his sister, watched a few of her moves and began to boogie. It was sooo cute. It's a shame he got his dancing skills from his dad. (No offense, Husband, but you can't boogie the way I can, lol!).

My daughter, now that madam is a dancing queen. She loves to dance and has been shaking her booty since she learnt how to pull herself into standing position. People always ask where she learnt to dance. I like to think she got the dancing gene from yours truly. =)

Maybe TK is practicing for Saturday's bday party. It will be fun to see him shake it without help. Anyway, I am just an excited mother that likes to see her kids do something new! Love it!

Monday, March 26, 2007

ALOHA! WE'RE HAVING A LUAU!

I finally figured out the theme for TE's bday party - a Hawaiian Luau!!!!!
Imagine sunshine, pineapples, flamingos, parrots, leis, grass skirts, yummy tropical drinks, popcorn, fish sticks, fruit drinks, cake and just a great, happy atmosphere!!!!

I went to Card Party Outlet with TE yesterday and picked up a huge 4ft banner, leis, and a 'Happy Birthday' tiara for the birthday girl. I will be going back tomorrow to get some more stuff like a grass skirt for my son. Lol! He's going to be sooo mad! But it will just be for pics.

I got the idea on Sunday when I looked at the things I received at the baby shower. One of the gifts was for TE and it was a lovely Hawaiian dress. Just stunning, I tell you. There was also a 'Hawaii' t-shirt for TK. Since the weather is supposed to be warm, I hope to turn the backyard into a fun-filled place for the kids. I hope to find an inflatable pool for the kids to splash around in and a bubble making machine. I don't plan on wearing myself out, but I want TE to have a memorable party because 6 days later, her baby bro arrives and we will be busy fussing over him.

Anyway, I am just excited that my plans for this bday are focused, finally! We just got a funky digital camera that I am soooo excited about. (Spent a pretty penny $700 plus!!!!). It cost a lot, but its a Canon and they last forever. So, I will take some serious pictures and might actually post some pics of my kids (finally). Well, wish me luck, I have 5 days to plan this. Actually, 4 days, because her God-mother and I will be taking her to the zoo on Thursday which is her birthday.

Happy Birthday mama!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

QUOTE OF THE DAY!

So, Al Gore was recently before the Senate talking about the Environment. In expressing his thoughts on America's failure to deal with crucial environmental issues, he made an analogy to a sick child. He explained that if a child is sick and the doctor makes a recommendation, a parent does not quote science fiction to devalue the medical advice. He then went on to say something funny -

"If the crib's on fire, you don't speculate that the baby is flame-retardant."

Huh!
Hilarity! Keep it up, Al.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

SHE'S TURNING 3!

Wow. How time flies. It feels like only yesterday when we found out we were pregnant. Now, our little girl is on the verge of 3. The Enforcer turns 3 on Thursday. It is an amazing feeling. I can't help but feel proud and accomplished when I look at her. She is kind, sweet (calls her little brother "Sweetie"), and extremely helpful (helps Husband and I get things from every level of the house). She is also very good at 'disciplining' her baby brother. "TK, didn't I tell you not to play with that pot?" She is such a little mimic!

Anyway, please allow for another 'give God a shout-out moment' because I must thank God for bringing this little butterfly into our lives. I can't imagine life without her even though she is a chatter box, a diva and can sometimes cry for no good reason. At the end of the day, she is and will always be our baby, giving us loads of hugs and kisses.

I still am not sure what we are doing for her birthday but have invited a few friends over. I figure some sidewalk chalk, lots of balloons, finger foods, toys, bubbles and all out kids goodies should help her guests feel happy. As for the adults, you know all we need is some libation, a little bit of food and good conversation to have fun. My fingers are crossed that all will work out well.

And can you imagine that her new brother is due a few days later? Ah, things are going to get very interesting in about 2 weeks, but I trust TE to be able to keep up. I also trust her to help her brother, TK, adjust to the new addition. She is just such a blessing and I cannot wait to see her grow into a wonderful young lady, by God's grace. Hopefully, someday she will read this post and remember that I have always loved her and always will. Happy birthday in advance, mama! Mommy, Daddy, TK and Baby #3 love you!

Friday, March 23, 2007

THAT BOY IS SLICK PT 2

Just as I thought he would, TK left his 'signature' on my floors! I went upstairs yesterday evening and right there at the top of the stairs was a huge clump of yes - poop. He didn't stop there. He decorated my kitchen floor as well.

Children tend to be true to form, especially at this age. Thank God I realized he pooped upstairs. Can you imagine what would have happened if I didn't think about the possibility and then I had guests swing through? How embarrassing it would have been. Would have been funny, too, but definitely embarrassing.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

THAT BOY IS WAY TOO SLICK

This evening I was wasting time at the computer while TK ran all over the play room. Did I mention he was diaper-less? I am trying to get him used to not having a diaper in an effort to begin the process of potty training him. I hear it is much harder to potty train boys and am bracing myself for the task. Anyone have any suggestions?

Anyway, I digress. As I mentioned, the boy was running around here without his diaper. Not a problem, he does it often. I usually expect him to pee on the carpet - no problem! I plan on having the carpet steam cleaned this summer.

Can you believe this boy did the number 2? Okay, I confess, this is not the first time he has done the number 2 somewhere in this house. He's done it on the stairs, once before. he even did it in my foyer. It was hillarious. His big sister screamed "Mommy, TK doo dood!" to alert me. I ran to catch him and he just ran off, dropping clumps of poop all over the place.

Anyway, today his poop was nasty and stinky! Lord, have mercy! It was soft and just all out yucky. I have walked all over the play room and the foyer and I don't see poop anywhere. I cleaned him up, stuck him in the sink and rinsed him off. Oh God, I just realised he might have gone upstairs and pooped on my wooden floors! Oh no! Well, off I go to investigate. Keep your fingers crossed! Can you imagine that sticky stuff all over my floors? Lord! help me.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

MOMMY GUILT

The hot issue of the day is apparently 'mommy guilt'. According to the 'experts' they had on Good Morning America and the Today Show, it seems that mothers in America are not satisfied with the amount of time they spend with their children.

I think all mothers are going to feel guilt of some kind. (I know I do from time to time). I also think that some guilt is better than others. By that I mean, it is fine to feel guilty about your reaction to something your child did, particularly if you lost your temper unnecessarily. However, it does not make sense to feel guilty because you bought your child the blue Power Ranger toy instead of the Yellow one.

Anyway, all this mommy guilt stuff reminds me of my friend Aunty Ample Bosom who frequently has an extreme case of mommy guilt. No, she doesn't have a whole bunch of kids, she has a very cute and adorable 4 lb doggie named Marley Paige.




Now, as you can see, Marley Paige is just the cutest. My kids absolutely love her. I love her as well. Marley Paige is her mommy's baby and Aunty Ample Bosom loves her very, very much. Aunty AB is, in my opinion, a very good mommy and her baby loves her very much as well. Yet, nothing can drive Aunty Ample Bosom nuts like that dog.

Aunty AB has a very demanding job and that means it cuts into mommy and doggy time. For that reason, Aunty AB constantly suffers from mommy guilt. She wishes she could do more with her doggie. I constantly try to remind her that Marley Paige is only a dog so she shouldn't allow herself to feel too guilty. And, besides, Marley Paige loves her just the way she is.





I find it interesting, and sometimes hilarious, to hear my friend talk about how guilty she feels about her doggie. She wishes she did all sort of things differently with regard to Marley Paige. What parent doesn't? Basically, whether you are a mommy or daddy to a child or a doggie, you will feel guilty about something. The trick is to analyze what makes you feel guilty, find a way to avoid doing or saying what makes you feel guilty and take action. (This seems to work for me). Once you can figure out ways to reasonably improve upon yourself, the guilt will hopefully be less. And, keep in mind that when it comes to those you are responsible for there will always be something to feel guilty about. The key is to keep everything in perspective - no parent is perfect and that goes for parents of humans and doggies.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

HE ATE WHAT!!!!

TK has a habit of picking everything up and popping it in his mouth. Most of the time, he finds bits of food that he dropped earlier and, well, he finishes it off.

Today, however, he found something that really turns my tummy. I think he found the carcass of a dead cricket in his Bumbo chair, and yes, he ate it. I saw him walk over to his Bumbo chair and completely forgot that there was a dead cricket in it. (The cricket came in from the backyard). Before I knew it, I saw TK put something in his mouth and begin to chew.

I, of course, start screaming! I ask Husband to get the cricket out of TK's mouth. My hubby, calm as always, simply laughed and told me to relax, "It's just a cricket." I explain that the cricket could have pesticides on it, after all, it did come from outside. Again, Husband laughed and said "Look at his constitution." Because my son is healthy looking (AKA chubby), my husband did not think that 'a little' pesticide will hurt him.

By the time I get to the boy he had ingested and probably digested that nasty cricket. Ah, I'm trying to teach the boy not to eat random things off the floor. It's clear I have to work a lot harder - on TK and Husband!

THANK GOD!

I just want to use this forum to thank God for his infinite blessings upon my cousin Aunty Tonye. She is currently 5 months pregnant and I pray that her husband and herself will be blessed with a lovely, healthy, God fearing, respectful and obedient child that will bring sunshine and happiness to their lives always.

My cousin has been married for 3 years and for those of you who know, Nigerian in-laws expect a baby within 9 months of marriage (if that long =). I am glad that any wahala people can now keep quiet and allow her to enjoy her blessing.



I also want to thank God and give him praise for the life of 12 year old Michael Auberry who was missing in the Blue Ridge woods in North Carolina for over 3 days. It has been cold out there and only God knows how the boy found food or water to survive on. Anyway, he is alive and from news reports, he is well. Thank you Lord for blessing his family, friends and loved ones. Thank you Lord, for giving us all a miracle.

And that brings a conclusion to my 'give God a shout-out' moment.

Monday, March 19, 2007

A FUN BABY SHOWER!

Baby #3's God mother threw a lovely shower on his behalf. She even declared that he will "cure cancer". Amin, Amin, Amin ni oruko Jesu, amin!. (Yoruba for Amen, in Jesus's name).

The ladies showed up and we even had two young gentlemen with us - Peter (5 years) and James (13 months). It is amazing how getting out of the house can cheer any mother up. I got away from the kids and spent a good time listening to old R&B jams (remember Zhane and Tevin Campbell?) and gossipping thoroughly about everything from Djimon Honsou to Deelishis ('Flavor of Love') and New York ('I Love New York').

Baby #3 got lots of gifts. Even I got a gift or two. Thanks Aunty ample bottom for my bottle of Baileys Irish Cream. Can't wait to knock it back, after baby of course. TE and TK also got gifts from Hawaii.

I forgot how much fun showers can be. There is just a vibe in the air, a congregation of friends, and even strangers with one intent - to celebrate an impending birth and have a fabulous time.

Thanks to everyone who made the shower a grand success. It is one I will never forget!

Friday, March 16, 2007

WHY DOES EVERYONE PREFER DADDY?

Once my daughter was born, it became clear that I was not the most popular person in the house. Forget the fact that I carried her for 9 months, breastfed her, stayed with her all day and entertained her always. Daddy, not mommy, was her favorite parent.

I thought that having a son would make a difference. How wrong was I? My son, like his older sister LOVES daddy. Me? Well, not so much. Although daddy has spent the last year travelling alot, when he is home, "Dada" is the first word that comes out of TK's mouth in the morning. Speaking of first words, TE's first word was "Dada". Where is the love, people?

I don't want to give the impression that I am not loved by the kids. They give me loads of kisses and hugs on a regular basis and I get kisses on my big belly as well. They keep me laughing constantly as they are extremely hilarious. I thoroughly enjoy my kids and most of their antics.

Nevertheless, I am a little jealous of the love daddy gets. He can never do anything wrong. It's probably because I spend so much time with the kids and am the chief disciplinarian. It is quite understood in my house that mommy barks. Husband only barks to back me up when necessary. The good cop - bad cop arrangement works but the consequence is that daddy gets more love. Or maybe kids just naturally love their dads more. I just don't know the reason and probably never will.

Although Baby #3 (AKA Bomboy) is on his way, something tells me that like his siblings, he will probably prefer daddy to me. Well, if that is the case, it's not too bad. As long as they listen when I talk, obey orders and show me love from time to time, I'll take it! Thank you very much.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

CHILD NEGLECT

My area is Nija central. There are a lot of Nigerians in the surrounding towns and in the state of Maryland, in general. That being said, I was shocked and horrified to discover that a news article I heard about recently involved a Nigerian.

Amara Eden is a mother of 5 children between the ages of 6 years and 6 months. She was arrested for and charged with child neglect. She left her children alone and unsupervised in a basement apartment that was filthy and absolutely disgusting from the pictures shown on the news.

She allegedly informed a police officer that in her home country, it is a shame to go to jail. She is right. But, it is a shame to not take care of your children, as well. We all know that times are hard, it takes a lot to raise and care for children. However, if you see or read about the conditions these children lived in, well, you would be speechless.

There were options available to this woman and her children if she needed help caring for her kids. Maybe she did not know. It is unfortunate that her children had to suffer the consequences. Her youngest has cystic fibrosis and all the children are suffering from respiratory problems.

It is possible that she suffers from depression or some other mental and/or emotional condition that impaired her judgment. But, I wonder if she loved her children because on the news tonight it was alleged that she said she would have simply killed herself rather than return to her home only to be arrested.

I just hope that she gets the help she needs. Even more important, I hope that those children recover and forget about this madness. I wonder where their father[s] is/are? Did they have any family members that could have interceded on their behalf? We have to keep our eyes out for each other. Maybe someone could have offered to care for those poor children while she worked or did whatever it was that she was doing when she left those children alone for hours in their own filth.

We must learn to ask for help when needed. It doesn't make you a weak person to acknowledge that you can't do everything alone. Life is hard for all and we can only manage together. I wish I could have done something to prevent this from happening.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

BILL O'REILLY SPOUTS MORE HATRED!

Yes, O'Reilly has done it again. Rather than expressing compassion for the 10 children who died in a fire in the Bronx, he instead turned the situation of that poor family into a talking point to stir up controversy for his show.

I only found about this because I watched the Countdown with Keith Olbermann and heard him talk about O'Reilly's comments while calling O'Reilly the "Worst " person of the day. Upon visiting YouTube, I was actually able to find actual footage of O'Reilly's verbal diarrhea.

For once, I must say I agree with Geraldo Rivera who attempts to put things in perspective for Mr. O'Reilly to no avail. It is so sad that we now live in a world where everyone must make their point by being condescending of the poor, by taking advantage of the underprivileged and insulting as many people as possible. It is unconscionable to use tragedy to our advantage at the detriment of those who suffer. God have mercy on us all, because we are all a part of the problem.

Anyway, here's the clip.

"TURNING MY CHILDREN INTO MONSTERS!"

Yesterday, Husband, TK, TE and I sat on the couch watching the West Indies team defeat the Pakistani team during the Cricket World Cup.

While lounging, I poured some cheerios into a bowl and gave it to the kids to share. Since cheerios are a favorite snack around here, some jostling ensued. TE took it upon herself to grab the bowl and prevent TK from accessing any of it. He screamed in protest. I intervened and TE eventually gave in.

However, TE would frequently forget that the bowl was meant for both herself and her baby brother. She would constantly pick up the bowl and scream at her brother for attempting to eat her cheerios. "It's mine, TK. Mine!" she would say.

Poor Husband. He's not used to seeing the kids get so confrontational, especially not over a snack. His first comment? "Man, cheerios is turning my children into monsters." His second comment? "Look at them! Eyes open and nostrils flaring!"

His second comment had me rolling! His description was completely accurate. TE's eyes were bulging out of her head and TK's nostrils flared like a bull's. So much aggravation and tension in their little bodies. All this because of some silly cheerios. From now on, I'll be sure to give the children their fruit cheerios in separate bowls. That will ensure peace for all of us.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

TELETUBBIES!!!!!! AAAAGH!!!!!

To my knowledge, my daughter has only watched the Teletubbies once. I find them disturbing and don't encourage my children to watch any show where the characters do not speak, but rather grunt at each other.

Anyway, I recently discovered a disturbing video from the show. I cannot explain what you are about to see, but I do know one thing - this is sick!!! Sure, kids don't always see things the way we adults do, but considering all the flap the show has received here in the States, once would thing the producers would have been careful and not aired this nonsense. I wonder how this video is educational?

Well, feel free to watch and decide for yourself. Do not have any kids around until you are sure you want to share this video with them. That probably applies to adults as well.

10 CHILDREN DEAD

It happened a few days in the Bronx, NY and I have been avoiding blogging about it. An extended family of Malians living in the Bronx lost 9 children and 1 female adult when their home went up in flames. (As of today, 1 more child succumbed to her injuries and passed in the hospital).

News reports indicate that the children were well liked at school and well loved by their friends and neighbors. It is always a shame when we lose young children in preventable ways. however, as a Christian, I believe that God's will will be done and sometimes, his will hurts.

I pray for the family of the departed and hope that they will have the strength and courage to overcome this bleak moment in their existence. What a shame - someone leaves Mali to come to America in an effort to provide for the family only to lose most of them in flames. Lord, have mercy!

Friday, March 9, 2007

WHAT ABOUT FELA AS A NAME?

My daughter has been singing a lot of Fela, you know, a la "Catch am, catch am, thief, thief, thief..." So, I in turn have been playing as much Fela as I can. I dug up some old tapes that I got off my big brother and we have been enjoying some quality Fela rhythms and having serious jam sessions.

Those of you that keep up know that Husband and I are yet to find a name for Baby #3. Anyway, I started thinking about Fela as a name for Baby #3. Can you imagine my child being called Fela? Well, there would be some benefits and drawbacks I think.

The benefit would be in the strength of the name. I still need to verify what it means ("God speeds one's wealth" - can anyone help me?), but for all of us that know of Fela, you know that he was of strong character and mind. I practically consider him a prophet. He was also a talented musician and philosopher.

However, there are drawbacks to the name Fela. Despite my admiration of the man Fela, anyone who looks at his life can see that despite the accomplishments, it was one of danger and trouble. he was arrested and imprisoned at least twice, his mother was killed by soldiers who were hunting him down, he had a whole bunch of kids!, he had even more 'wives', he smoked a lot of pot (in fact the first time i ever smelled pot was when 3 of his 'wives' came visiting some good family friends and they came with the distinctive aroma of 'igbo'), he seemingly knew no peace and eventually died of AIDS.

In addition to all this, my mother would kill me if Husband and I named her grandchild after Fela. I don't think my mother was ever a huge fan (she's very proper, you know), and would probably think that we had cursed the boy to a life of hardship and pain. Unfortunately, despite my western education, I am still a firm believer that the names we give to our children do affect their lives. As such, I am extremely hesitant to name my child after Fela.

What a shame though, I think it would be a good name, but you can't take unnecessary risks with the future of your child. So, Fela will most likely not be my son's name.

Thursday, March 8, 2007

DON'T BE CRUEL

My son, TK, is only 17 months and has become somewhat bossy! He tracks me down wherever I go and pulls me right back to where he wants me. And, if for some reason, I fail to comply, well, I get the 3rd degree - lots of screaming. I find it strange that he isn't even 2 yet and already knows how to lay down a good tantrum. Maybe he picked up the skill from his older sister.

This morning, TK did something he has been doing a lot recently. Walking up to his sister and grabbing her juice cup out of her hands. Had this been any other point in time, such an attempt would have resulted in a beat down from his big sis. However, nowadays, she has developed a serious soft spot for her baby brother - giving him loads of hugs and pushing him around the house in their toy cars. I guess this soft-spot is why when he takes her juice, she cries out "Mama, TK took my juice, boo hoo...." I then have to pretend I don't find the situation funny, put on my stern face and my disciplinarian voice and instruct the young man to return the stolen property.

Just yesterday, while walking around the kitchen with his juice cup, he spotted his sister's cup on the kitchen table. He calmly walked over to the table and grabbed the cup. He then proceeded to roam around the kitchen, gleefully taking a sip from his cup and then one from her cup. TE, who had gone to use the potty, returned to the kitchen to play only to see her brother with her cup. All hell broke lose! Screams, pushing and snatching until TE rescued her cup from her brother. She was very pleased with herself, but for some reason, TK looked very smug. Well, we soon discovered why - he left the girl with only a few drops of apple juice! That boy is slick.

TK has also become very possessive. If he sees his sister getting a hug, he is quick to scream and push her away from me. One would think I was his property. I tell Husband that the boy treats me like a slave! LOL! Clean my booty, change my clothes, feed me, pet me, talk to me, hold me. And all this NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW! Oh well, what can I do! He needs to enjoy himself, at my expense, while he can. Baby #3 arrives in a few weeks and once that happens, well, things sure will change around here. Poor boy!

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

"THEM KIDS WERE GONNA SMOKE SOONER OR LATER..."

Demetrius McCoy is blaming the press for exagerrating the seriousness of giving a blunt to his nephews. According to him "[t]hem kids were gonna smoke sooner or later."

No adult of sane and reasonable mind that has seen the footage of Demetrius and another teenager giving weed to a 2 - and 5 year old child can possibly think that the media has blown the situation out of proportion. I personally was shocked out of my mind when I saw the footage on the news. The idiots even had the audacity to record themselves not only committing a crime (using an illegal drug) but encouraging minors (babies!) to partipate in criminal activity (corruption of minors).



"I was high", Demetrius now says. Of course, you were - we all saw and heard you getting high on camera. But that is not and can never be an excuse for putting young babies at risk. I know a lot of people love their Mary Jane, but 2 - and 5 year olds have the rest of their lives to eventually become pot heads. I hope that those kids, Demetrius and his cousin, learn something from this. I actually hope that they go to jail or at least some sort of centre for juvenile delinquents.

God protect our kids, even if they "were gonna smoke sooner or later".

STUMPED!!!!

My daughter, The Enforcer, recently asked me a very hard question.

"Mommy, where is Jesus?"

I could tell her Jesus is in Heaven, but then she wouldn't really know where Heaven is and I wouldn't know how to explain that to an almost-3 year old.

Stumped!

Monday, March 5, 2007

"BABY SHOWERS AREN'T FOR BOYS..."

Well, Baby #3 should be here in a little less than 5 weeks. Hooray!!!!! I am so happy, you couldn't and wouldn't believe it. Some friends are kindly planning a baby shower and I must say I am excited. Not for the gifts, Baby #3 doesn't need much as he has 2 older siblings and can use their stuff. However, I am excited about the prospect of hanging out with a few girlfriends, having our kids scream and run around and talking about old times.

Recently, I mentioned the baby shower plans to my husband. His remark was "Baby showers aren't for boys." I laughed so hard, I almost peed in my pants. He noted that our first son, TK, didn't have a baby shower and I explained that that was only because we were in process of moving from our old apartment to the house. There were also plans to move abroad shortly thereafter, thus precluding an shower preparations.

Anyway, now I feel bad for TK. Did we deprive him by not having a shower for him? Just kidding - the boy doesn't care and most likely never will. It is interesting that men just don't care about such things. In a way, Husband is perfectly right, baby showers are not for boys - they just could care less. Oh, of course, they want you to have one so that you are happy and occupied, thereby reducing the chance of making their life miserable, but as far as them attending or participating or planning - don't even think about it.

That is perfectly fine with me. No offense to Husband, but I could never imagine him planning or participating in a shower. Come to think about it, the results could be downright ridiculous! A TV playing the West Indian team playing cricket (and winning), with some rum and coke, lemonade, and chicken would probably be his idea of a great 'shower'. So, this shower shall be attended by my daughter, son (who loves being around mature women) and I, sans husband! Sorry baby, but something tells me you don't mind =)

KILLING A SPOUSE

They finally got a confession out of Stephen Grant in the murder investigation of his now-late wife, Tara Grant. Thank God!

For those that are not familiar with this story, Tara Grant went missing approximately 3 weeks ago. Her husband reported her missing, but only 5 days after he last saw her. Anyway, after lots of interviews and searching, the Macomb County, MI police department found Tara Grant's torso in the woods and then discovered parts of her body in the couple's garage. They then began a manhunt for Stephen Grant who was later found running around in the woods, barefoot and suffering from hypothermia.

This is not the first time that a mother has been killed by her husband in recent years. But, no matter how often one hears such stories, you can never be numb to them. Particularly, as Mr. Grant apparently murdered and dismembered his wife in their home while his 4 and 6 year old children slept. Thank God he didn't kill the children as well.

What is it that triggers such murderous rage in people, men or women (because we know women kill their husbands as well). As a wife and mother, I can't help but wonder. Unfortunately, I tend to think that nobody is immune - all it might take are the right factors interacting with each other to produce the disastrous result. All I know is that I never want such madness to visit upon my family or my children's families. Quite frankly, I wish I knew what to do to prevent such from happening to anyone.

Continued communication between spouses is probably the key. It continues to stupefy me that so many of us marry people we do not truly know and don't take the time to get to know them better. I know that no matter how well you think you know someone, that might not actually be the case. I also know that over the course of a marriage, people change - that is just natural. But, that is why communication is important - if the communication channels are open and there is mutual respect for one another, couples can freely discuss their issues and frustrations, and they can work to resolve them together or separately. This is simply my opinion, I am no marriage expert. However, I can't help but wish that Tara and Stephen would have worked out whatever was wrong so as to prevent Stephen from going off the deep end and killing someone that he should have at least loved at some point (and probably still loved when he killed her).

My prayers go out to the family of both Tara and Stephen. Only God knows how this will affect the children. I hope that they can grow up to be well-adjusted, and not haunted by the fact that their mother was murdered by their father in the same house while they slept. I also wish that such an event does not happen again but the pessimist in me is confident that my wish will not come true.