Wednesday, February 28, 2007

WHAT DO I DO WITH A 1 YEAR OLD FLIRT????!!!!!

Una see me see trouble, oh? (Translation: Come see what I have to deal with. Or something like that.) My son is the biggest flirt I have EVER seen. And, I have seen a lot of flirts. Male flirts, female flirts, he/she/shim flirts, you name it. However, none of the flirts I have met can hold a candle to my son, TK.

The boy LOVES women. In a way I am not complaining. I can't lie, I wouldn't wish any of my children to be anything other than heterosexuals, for reasons I rather not go into. That being said, my son's outrageous flirting does have me worried. Especially because he prefers grown @$$ women. A friends daughter who is a few months older than him, chased my son all over the place trying to kiss him, some months back. My son cried and fled in fear! You should have seen the scene - my son crawling away as if his life depended on it. Had that been a mature woman chasing him, he would have surrendered quickly and allowed himself to be caught!

Here are a few examples of his flirtatious ways. We recently went to lunch with an uncle of his. He spent the two hours we were there making faces at one of the waitresses. Each time she walked by, he would twist his whole body to take a good look at her from the front and behind. Did I mention that the child is 1? (Well, 16 months old). Did I also mention that he was sitting in a child seat? Anyway, the poor lady finally noticed my son and spent almost a total of 20-something minutes cooing at him. Of course, my son, being the man he is, leaned in to her, getting full access to her breasts. I was embarrassed. Luckily, she had no clue what the boy was up to.

Another example. I have a friend who has an ample bosom. My son initially acted as if he didn't like her for whatever reason. Everytime she came over he would avoid her and hang out with his god-mother or myself instead. Now, TK LOVES hanging out with 'ample-bosom'. Why? I declare it is because he has discovered the wonderful world of breasts. If aunty 'ample bosom' picks him up, he very gladly relaxes on her chest. Yes, yes y'all - my son is a breast man!!!!

Ah, don't worry, he is also a bottom man. My son is an equal opportunity lover! He smacked another friend of mine on her backside recently. My friend is blessed with a backside, so I guess he couldn't help himself.

I can't take the boy anywhere. Women run to him and as a flirt, he lavishes in the attention and downright encourages it. I have warned him on numerous occasions that I do not have a problem with his extreme liking of women. I just want him to like one at a time. I don't want women crying over him because he broke their hearts. I guess, I want him to become a gentleman that is cognizant of how women feel, and can thus adjust his behavior to take their feelings into account. I will have to depend on his sister to keep the girls away. Knowing her and her attitude, she will keep this boy in check for me. I will also have to depend greatly on Husband. Quite frankly, his daddy will have to deal with this issue. I can only teach my son so much. He will have to learn the rest from his father. I think boys learn how to be men from their dads and must impress upon Husband to be cognizant of his flirtatious behavior so he can address it when the time comes.

Anyway, I am keeping my fingers crossed that we will raise a well-adjusted gentleman. I hope that Baby #3 will not be as flirtatious as TK. Can you imagine having two women-crazy boys in my house? Lord, help me!!!!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

MIRROR IMAGES

I can't help but see pieces of me in my daughter TE. Like me, she is an extrovert, talks way too much and makes a lot of noise, all the time. In my son, TK, are pieces of Husband - calm, reserved, happy and playful.

Husband is not a fan of TV. In fact, he spent most of his time not having one. In a way, I think he is lucky to not be a TV addict like myself. I am trying to wean myself off the tube, but have not accomplished that yet. Now, TK seems to not like TV, just like his daddy. TK has developed the habit of turning the TV off all the time now. He seems to wait until I have walked out of the room to do it. I think it is because he knows that I am way too pregnant to hustle back from wherever I am to discipline him. Slick, isn't he?

Anyway, he only turns off the TV when it is on a program he doesn't appreciate (just like his father). Like MSNBC or another news channel wasting our lives with talk of the Anna Nicole debacle, or when my daughter and I have on a music video and are getting our groove on. He, however, will not turn off the TV when it is tuned to Sesame Street or some other children's programming he approves of. Something tells me that, like his father, he wouldn't mind spending days in front of the TV watching cricket.

Well, it is just amazing to look at my children and see the pieces of both Husband and I in them. I am sure that as they continue to grow, they will manifest attributes that are distinctly theirs and characteristics that remind us of ourselves. It is exciting to see how they will grow. I just hope and pray that they become God-fearing, kind, respectful and productive members of the universe. I also can't wait to see who Baby #3 favors. We shall see.

Friday, February 23, 2007

FIGURED OUT A NAME YET?

That is one of the first questions everyone asks whenever they realize I am preggers. My response is always the same, "Nope." It seems strange
to not have a clue what name to give to my third child. With our first two, Husband and I worked hard to figure out the names we would give them. This time, well, the enthusiasm just doesn't seem to be there.

It isn't because we are not excited about this child, that would be far from the truth. The reality is that we are so busy with so many other things that we have not had the mental fortitude to really consider names thoroughly. I have 3 names as my backup, you know, in case we don't get our act together, but that's about it. Husband doesn't seem to have any names in the works and has informed me that he doesn't find the names I considered "sexy".

The process of name giving is pretty complicated in my house because my Husband and I have different attitudes towards name giving. As a Nigerian, it is important to pick a name that will be a blessing to my child. Nigerians take name giving to great heights with huge naming ceremonies, where all sorts of family members, friends and elders grant names to a child. The idea is that the names will be a blessing and will help shape and mold the child's life in a positive manner. So, as you can see, I really should be taking more time to figure this out.

My husband is from the Commonwealth of Dominica (a tiny island that Nigeria should colonise and use for holiday retreats, if you ask me LOL!)and he is looking for a name with substance that won't put his children at a disadvantage. By disadvantage, my husband is realistic about the world we live in today, where people with names that happen to not be Anglo-Saxon in origin sometimes face 'name prejudice'. Just think about the last time you saw a resume with the name 'Boomquita' on it. He also would prefer that I suggest a Nigerian (specifically, Yoruba) name that won't have non-native speakers breaking their necks in an effort to pronounce it. That might not be easy to accomplish as Yoruba names are not always easy for Americans, Europeans, Latins and certain Asians (not Japanese, though) to pronounce. Consequently, the quest to find names we both agree with will be difficult.

I personally feel that to have a name that is not popular, or foreign, is not a problem as long as it means something of significance. Remember, my people consider names a blessing. Unlike my husband, whose name is as simple and ordinary as John Christopher Smith (not his actual name), I grew up with a Yoruba first and last name and even got called, 'Ms. Fajita' by my Constitutional Law professor in college. Each time he called on me, which he did often, I would correct him and then proceed to answer the question. He never once referred to me by the right name but, not only did he seemingly not like me (for reasons I don't care to know), he was also ancient. I swear he must have been 1000 years old!!!!

Anyway, the point is, having a name that was 'different' in America distinguished me from others. It also helped build my character because I took the time to always correct people who mispronounced my name. Sometimes they were appreciative, other times they were less so. However, I never allowed anyone's ignorance or lack of knowledge to allow them to call me anything other than the name giving to me by my parents. If that doesn't help to build a strong character, I don't know what else would. Thus, I don't mind the same thing happening to my children. The world is a big place and as technology makes it smaller, I believe very strongly that names from all over the world will become increasingly common. Of course, there will be those who for whatever reason will resist learning unfamiliar names, but that should in no way determine the blessing that I give to my child through a name.

So, all that being said, I am now determined to spend the next 7 weeks working on finding a Yoruba name that I really like. I discovered Folarin recently. It means to walk with wealth or prosperity. What a name for a child! Maybe we'll pair it with my maternal grandfather's name - Victor, or my father in-law's name, Emmanuel (which oddly enough was a favorite of my grandmother). Or maybe the name Afolabi (born with wealth) - wow, is there a trend here with the wealth fixation?!!

I am sure that Husband and I will eventually decide upon a Yoruba name and English name that we will both like. For that reason, I am going to relax, eat lots of food, hang out with my family, chill with my friends and just wait, patiently, for our new addition to arrive. My prayer is that baby #3, whatever his name will be, will be born safe and sound and be healthy enough to keep up with his 2 older siblings. We probably should give him a name signifying strength because between TE and TK, this child will need all the strength he can get!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

HELLO, HAPPY HAPPINESS!!

"Hello, happy happiness" are the main lyrics from my favorite Sesame Street song. And, I love a lot of Sesame Street songs. It might seem strange that an adult likes that show, after all it is made for infants, toddlers and kids. However, I had the great privilege of watching Sesame Street as a kid and whenever I watch it now with my children, it evokes fond memories of playing with transformer toys at Central Park, running around with my kindergarten classmates, discovering ladybugs in the summer and yes, even gross things like eating buggers!

Anyway, my favorite song was part of today's program on one of our local PBS stations. (Not that you care, but the Letter of the Day was 'R' and the Number of the Day was 18). As soon as the music began, TE and TK jumped up and danced (well, TK just shifted his weight from leg to leg, actually). Even I, 8 months preggers and all, could not resist shaking my behind.

So, if you are feeling a little blue or just not as perky as you usually are, take a listen to my 'favoritest' Sesame Street jam - 'Happy Happiness.'


Saturday, February 17, 2007

NOW THAT YOU ARE A PARENT, WHAT DO YOU MISS?

I always hear people on TV talk about how life changes once they become parents. Usually, you can identify with their comments. You probably feel the same way.

Well, when people ask me what I miss, I tell them all the same thing - THE ABILITY TO TAKE A $#*! IN PEACE!!!! You never think that this aspect of your life will change before you have children. But, as any parent can testify, the toilet is no longer a private space when the kids come along.

Look at my house for instance. I have 3.5 bathrooms. That is more than enough space for my husband, The Enforcer (35 months), The King (15 months) and I to get our moments with the porcelain god in peace. However, that is never the case. Toilet time is community time. The kids want to know what you are doing. They want to play with their toys, run the tub, put makeup on, throw your combs around, fight and do what all kids love to do. You, the parent on the other hand, just want quiet time.

I sometimes have to sneak into the bathroom when we are in the playroom. The silence never lasts, as one of the kids finds me out relatively quickly. Once one finds me, the other is sure to be close behind.

So, what else do I miss now that I am a mom? If I really take the time to think about it, my list would be endless. Anyway, here are a few things.


  1. Waking up late
  2. Staying up late
  3. Eating without having random fingers in my plate
  4. Not changing stinky diapers
  5. Not having babies fart, freely and gleefully, in my face
  6. Not having to share my Jamba Juice

And so on and so forth.

People tell me that I will get my life back as the kids get older and more independent. I don't believe them. As a parent, I am sure that even when my kids are older, I'll be worrying about them. Parenting, it's joys and negative consequences (such as no peaceful toilet time) never ends. So, I continue to come to terms with the fact that my life is completely changed and will never be the way it was pre-children. On some level, I am actually confident that I never want to go back to pre-children times. Life is not easy when you have children, but it definitely has its benefits and as I always remind myself, these kids keep me laughing. I would not change that for anything in the world.

FOODS I HAVE MISSED

Pregnancy does weird things to you. I have heard of women craving ice cubes. Others begin a pickles and ice cream habit (yuck!). As for me, I just want to eat whatever tickles my fancy when I crave it. Andm trust me, it is nothing wierd or eccentric.

So, I started thinking about all the foods I would have had if I lived in a perfect world and could get what I wanted, when I wanted it. What follows is the result of too much thinking and way too much craving!

Foods I wish I'd eaten or eaten more of during my third pregnancy:

  1. Water fufu and akpon (eaten in a clay pot).
  2. Beans and corn
  3. Suya
  4. Iyan and egusi soup
  5. Fried yam and pepper
  6. Kenkey and shitoh
  7. Scotch eggs
  8. Jollof rice and fried meat
  9. Hot Ghana/sweet bread and butter
  10. Dodo, the way my grandma use to make it (seasoned with salt, pepper and blended tomatoes)
  11. Injera and kei wot with gomen (spinach)
  12. Penne Pasta y salmon (from Luigi's in Washington, D.C.)
  13. Veal marsala with pasta alfredo (from Luigi's)
  14. My homemade lasagna
  15. Akara and soaked garri (with loads of sugar and ice cubes) aaahhh!
  16. Moin moin!
  17. Meat Pie
  18. Sausage rolls
  19. Attieke avec poulet et alloco
  20. Pain au chocolat (from Au Bon Pain)
  21. Almond croissant (from Au Bon Pain)
  22. Jamba juice
  23. French martinis (yes, not a food but nourishing all the same!)
  24. Champagne (again not a food but see above)

Well, those are the top things I wish I had eaten this pregnancy. Some things I have had more of than others (#11, in particular). My girlfriends have done a great job of getting me Jerk chicken with rice and ting 2-3 times a month! Thanks ladies!

There is nothing like pregnancy to make you wish you had a 'replicator' to make whatever you want all the time. I have 8 more weeks and plan to eat as much of the items on this list as possible. Yes, I'll probably gain another 25lbs, but I don't care!!!!!!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

THE MOTHER OF ALL DISASTERS !!!!! PT III

Today, TE threw another couple of tantrums. By noon, I realized I needed to give her some lunch and put her to bed for a nap. Well, I guess, I waited too long because in an attempt to feed her she simply flailed all over the place, screaming. So, up to bed we went.

I took the time to have some lunch and soon fell asleep on the couch. I soon woke up smelling perfume. I thought it was my imagination but after the 3rd time, I quickly remembered TE's episodes from last week. I flew up the stairs and into her room.

TE's room was a mess. It looked as if a tornado had ripped through the room. We have a large and heavy suitcase that sits in a corner of her large closet and upon arriving in her room, I saw the suitcase in the middle of the room! I couldn't even lift it up to place it back in the closet.
She had emptied out a new box of toothbrushes that I bought recently because she took my toothbrush and toothpaste and I am yet to find them.

Anyway, as I could still smell the perfume I went into my bathroom. It was an absolute horror! TE went through my makeup and painted the wood and tile in green and red!!!! There was gunk all over the place! Perfume sprayed on the drawers! She used my makeup as finger paint on the drawers and floors! I lost it and returned to her room to spank her.

I do not know what exactly we can do to prevent this child from playing with certain things. We have lived in this house for just over a year and she has never done the damage that she has created in the last 7 days. I am sure it is a cry for attention but the fact is that she gets quite a bit. I try to put her brother to bed a little earlier than her so we can play together in the evenings. I also spend time with her in the morning while making breakfast and tend to leave her brother in his crib so he does not interfere. Or is it because she knows that a new baby is on the way?

I am not a shrink and I cannot begin the congruous process of figuring out why she is misbehaving. Not at this moment, anyway. I will be 8 months pregnant on Friday and am yet to get my house in order for our new addition. Just to remind me that he is on the way, the young man is kicking me ferociously. Oh boy! (no pun intended).

Well, I am going to have a long, hot shower to ease my aching shoulder and hip. The shower should also help me calm down so I can get my son out of bed and bring him back down to the playroom for playtime and food.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

When I look out my window, everything is frozen. But, despite the white expanse, I am a happy camper today. Woke this morning to happy kids and a ring at the door. At the door was a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a lovely balloon.

As Husband is out of town, he sent me something sweet. Although he neglected to give me a First Wedding Anniversary gift (though he took me out to dinner), he never ever forgets to spoil me with something nice on Valentines. So, thank you husband - the flowers are BEAUTIFUL!!!! And, the balloon? Well, I barely got a glance because TE descended on them in a flash and has been walking around with it for a while now. Did you pick out the vase? It's lovely and perfect for the house. Well, I will stop gushing and save the rest for our conversation, later. Needless to say - Je t'aime beaucoup!

I must confess that the flowers were delivered yesterday but I refused to answer the door. Let me explain. I live in a newly developed neighborhood and on any given day, there is some person trying to peddle something. Need new blinds? Need a porch/deck? Need landscaping?

So, when someone rang my bell, I walked over to the window and looked outside. There was a white family van parked in front of my home. I thought for a split second that I should go downstairs, but the thought only lasted a split second. Well, whoever it was rang my bell 2 more times and banged on the door a couple of times. I refused to have something peddled to me so I lay down on the sofa and watched some more news until I passed out.

Well, when someone rang the doorbell this morning, I again looked out the window. This time, I saw a balloon with the words 'I Love You' on it. I went downstairs and there at the door was my neighbor from across the street. "These were sitting at your day since yesterday and I thought you should know so they don't freeze out here in the cold," she said. I smiled gleefully and said a bright "Thank You" to her. And that is how I received my flowers and balloon. So, big shout out to my neighbor!!!! Thank you for taking the time to redeliver my gift and a happy valentine's day to you!

Monday, February 12, 2007

TUBAL LIGATION, ANYONE?

Oh, the choices one has to make in life. I can't believe I am actually considering tubal ligation. Not sure what that means? It is a fancy way of referring to getting your tubes tied. Yes, a touchy subject, but one I unfortunately must deal with.

For my third pregnancy, I have had a different doctor. Quite saddening as I LOVED my original OBGYN - Dr. Chahine at the GW Medical Facility in Washington, D.C. She is GREAT!!! Unfortunately, a change in insurance providers and a move required me to find a new doctor. Well, upon our first visit to see my new doctor, he suggested to my husband and I the option of tubal ligation. I wasn't even listening while he was talking, so I never heard him. I mean, why should I? This is my 3rd pregnancy, been there done that 2 times before!

Anyway, Husband and I get home and he mentioned what the doctor said. I got heatedly upset. How dare he suggest that I shouldn't have anymore children? My hubby laughed, and asked why I was so upset. I explained to him that in this country there has been a history of active sterilization of black women and other women of color. So, not only did I find the various possible suggestions offensive ('You are not a good mother', 'You and your husband can't afford more children' etc), I was just so heated that I could not wait to visit the doctor one last time (as there was no way I would keep a doctor that was insensitive) and 'school' him.

So, I finally had a follow up appointment with my doctor. Again, he mentioned tubal ligation and I calmly asked him "Do you suggest this operation to ALL your patients? And, why?" Well, he told me something I had never considered. The more times you have children via c-section, the more likely you are to have something go wrong (internally - leaking bladder blah, blah, blah) and he makes sure he alerts all his patients to that possibility. I told him thanks, and informed him that I will research the possibility and talk about the issue with my husband.

So, of course, I was embarrassed to say that I jumped to conclusions with my new doctor. I still don't like him, though, and set up appointments with a nurse practitioner instead, she's a lot funnier! Anyway, I am now saddled with an uncomfortable decision to make - to tie or not to tie?

After researching online, I am very concerned about the potential side effects of this procedure. I know I do not want to have any more children. I always wanted 2 and now am on my third pregnancy. As much as I love children, I am concerned that as a parent, I can only handle but so many kids. I want to give them as much attention as possible and spend as much time with them as I can. I also do not want to have more kids than I can afford. Financially, my husband and I are stable and when I return to work, my education and skills ensure that my income potential will only add to our financial security. So, 3 kids - okay, we can still send them to good schools, take them on trips to places they will enjoy and learn from and of course, have a good quality of life. It's all about planning a sustainable family, for me.

Back to the side effects. Depending on what procedure you choose, there are stories of many women experiencing pain in their kidneys, there is research suggesting that a specific form of ligation has been linked to ovarian cancer, certain forms of the procedure are permanent and those forms that are not permanent still leave you with a low chance of having children, if you change your mind. Plus, even if you get the procedure, you can still get pregnant (small chance) and the pregnancy will be ectopic (very dangerous - ouch!).

I am very risk averse and take a lot of time to decipher all my options and pick the one that will put me at an advantage. How will ligation help me? Assuming all goes well and I have absolutely no complications, I will be able to enjoy my life without worrying whether or not I will become pregnant again. That is a great advantage, but all the potential risks make me worry and I cannot assume I will have risk free results.

So, I continue to wrestle with this issue and my husband I have decided that we will sit down and really think about it. There is so much to consider, particularly the fact that he can get a vasectomy. It is less invasive procedure and can happen in a doctor's office in less than 15 minutes. Oh, and there are absolutely no complications other than the fact that the man will not be able to have any more kids. Why can't life be simple? Why do I have to make this decision? Anyway, let's hope that our conversation will help us come to some sort of agreement. An agreement we will both appreciate for the rest of our lives.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

LOVE IS IN THE AIR.....

I really should have posted this on Saturday, but activity at NIGERIANCURIOSITY.BLOGSPOT.COM kept me away and quite busy.

Anyway, on Saturday we all had breakfast while watching Sesame Street. On that episode, Slimy the worm had fallen in love with Glow worm. It was quite sickening really, his love sick puppy attitude, if one can say that for a worm. Anyway, I couldn't help but wonder if all that mushy talk about being in love was a little too early for my daughter.

The Enforcer is very mature for her age. At 35 months, she is very forward with little boys and will kiss the ones she likes - on the mouth. For that, I place all blame on her father and I. However, I was a little concerned that watching the program could 'corrupt' her.

Well, upon taking a few minutes to think about it, I realized that my concern was unfounded. There is nothing wrong in TE learning about love as long as it is not sexual love. The feelings expressed by the characters on the program were romantic and included learning about the number 15. Besides, TE and TK already know about love. It is inherent in all children and my kids express it every time they smile at me for no reason or when they hug me. In fact, TE constantly tells every member of our family that she loves them. What could be better than that? She even goes as far as to kiss my tummy and try to feed the baby inside it. TK also shows his love for his soon-to-be-born brother by smacking my tummy every chance he gets. You know how boys are.

I continue to realize that as much as I plan on being a good mother that will discipline and teach her children to be prepared for the world, my children teach me a lot as well. Watching TE and TK dance as they heard the songs on Sesame Street and watch with intensity as characters discussed love for friends and family made me do the simplest thing - give my babies a tight hug and kiss. My kids are smarter than I give them credit for sometimes.

I sure am a lucky mommy and I know Husband feels the same. The kids are an immense blessing and can always bring laughter and radiant smiles to our faces anytime of the day. That is the embodiment of love in its purest form.

THE MOTHER OF ALL DISASTERS!!!!! PT II

It has taken me a few days to get back to this blog, but here I am. Yes, I have calmed down since my last rant session. If you read it, then you can't blame me.

So, I found a cleaning company to stop by the house the day of the 'disaster'. Thank God. I called about 20 places and was promised by 2 companies that a team would stop by. Well, the first company that called back told me they would be there in 2 hours and we proceeded to work out the details. As I was talking to the gentleman on the phone, I noticed an accent. To be precise, I noticed a Nigerian accent. So, I asked, "Excuse me, what is your name." He responded, "Lawrence." I then said, "Lawrence, where are you from?" "Nigeria." I began laughing and said, "My brother, how far now?" (Translation, 'How are you'). Lawrence laughed and our Nigerian accents thickened over the phone.

He promised to send a cleaning team, knocked off $15 from the $185 estimate and told me to call him when the team arrived so that we could finalize whether payment would be made over the phone or by check (which he was willing to accept only because I was his "Sister").

The team came and included Krisella (sp?) and another lady who my son TK flirted with mercilessly. No wonder everywhere she worked lacked the detail that I expected. I had to point out things she forgot to do. I couldn't be too mad because it was clear that my son was playing a part in distracting her. The boy does that to everyone, especially women. They fall for it. He looks at them, smiles coyly and that's it - he's got them paying attention to him and not their business. No wonder he gets so frustrated when his charm offensive does not work on me.

Anyway, in all I am glad the ladies came. The entire house needed cleaning and it got it. I didn't have to lift a finger, other than chase my son all over the play room because he kept running off to flirt with the cleaning lady. I think my husband was just happy that I wasn't on the phone complaining about how my daughter was driving me mad.

Husband and I have come to realize that the child was 'stir crazy'. The weather had become extremely cold with below freezing temperatures and single digit wind chills. For that reason, neither her nor her brother had been out of the house (not even into the backyard), for at least a week. That is enough to drive anyone crazy. Thus, I labored to take the kids for a ride Friday evening, go shopping on Saturday morning, and today they will go visit my mother's friend (if I get the strength).

I pray that I don't pass out from lack of sleep.My sleep pattern has become rather erratic, what with the fact that I am in my third trimester and ever near our due date. But, if I manage to stay awake, the knowledge that there is a pot of banga soup (or akpon, as Yoruba know it) waiting for me at Aunty B's house (my mom's friend) should be enough motivation to get off my lazy behind. Happy Sunday y'all!

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

THE MOTHER OF ALL DISASTERS!!!!!

I can't believe it has come to this. I had to spank my daughter today. And, I do mean spank.

This morning, I awoke to a quiet house. The only sounds were those of shovels scraping the sidewalk to clear the snow that fell most of last night. I got out of bed, checked the time, used the restroom, opened a blind and climbed right back under the covers. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have such a beautiful start to a beautiful day. Oh, how wrong I was.

I started to hear someone cough. Figured it was TE who had a cold most of the weekend. Her cold and cough cleared up once I put a humidifier in her room. Unfortunately, her brother's humidifier isn't working right now (needs a new filter), so I moved her humidifier to his room while she slept last night to clear him up and keep his congestion from getting worse.

Sorry, I digress. Now, back to the coughing. I realized that my day was starting and decided to have a shower. Showers always get me ready to roll, so, off to the bathroom I went. No sooner had I turned on the water than I heard my bedroom door slam open and saw my bathroom door yanked open. It was TE. I couldn't hear anything she said because all I noticed was that there was white powder on her bum, and in her hair (which took hours to do mind you). I promptly ask her where she has been. She puts on her guilty face and says "No!" I walk with her to her room - no white powder anywhere. I told myself, "Calm down, it's not as bad as you think." I then told the child to stay in her room and went to take my much deserved shower.

Well I came out of the shower refreshed, but once I opened my bedroom door, what did I see? TE was in the linen closet and there were a host of random items all over the hallway. "What are you doing?" I asked as calmly as possible, because I knew that the child was creating more work for me to do. Then I saw it. She squeezed an entire tube of Neutrogena face cleanser all over the floor and opened a large refill container of Johnson & Johnson's baby wash. I guess she was in the process of dumping that on the floor as well, when I caught her. I lost it, at least I thought I did, and spanked her on her bum. I asked her why she was creating a mess for me. Just for context sake, on Monday, she emptied an entire box of whole wheat couscous (my favorite) all over the pantry and kitchen. On Tuesday, she squeezed an entire tube of Dr. Seuss' Aquafresh toothpaste all over the kitchen counters and today well, trust me, she wasn't done.

After spanking her, I picked up her baby brother and took them both downstairs. I placed her brother on the sofa and walked into the kitchen to make breakfast and there it was. THE WORST MESS I HAVE SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!! The child poured a full box of Clifford organic cereal (approx. $4), waffle mix (approx. $3, and I was going to have waffles for breakfast), a bag of granola (approx. $2), baking soda (approx. $1) all over my kitchen floor and pantry. There were bags of wasted food and boxes of wasted things all over the place. A giant mess. In a split second, I remembered all those commercials where kids make a mess of the house, and the good old, typical, American mom simply gives them a reproaching look, smiles and happily cleans up the house, without saying a word. Well, not only am I not an 'American' mom, my life is not a commercial. I lost it completely. I grabbed the child and spanked her on her bum again, repeatedly, all the time telling her , probably in a loud voice, that this mess was unacceptable and banished her to sit in a chair.

I took a deep breath and looked at the mess. I couldn't clean it. I am tired, 7.5 months pregnant, barely managing to take care of myself, talk less take care of 2 kids and I just cleaned the entire house on Monday because of the couscous incident. Now this? I come out to the living room to talk to her only to realize that TE's reign of terror did not stop in the hallway upstairs or in the kitchen. She had emptied an entire container of Luvs's wipes all over the place. Lost it again, people. Spanked her again!

Now, TE knows what is allowed and what is unacceptable. I have never spoilt my children. I have always taken the time to explain things to them. When she forgets, I remind her, at least twice. After that, she gets swatted on the back of her hand. This madness today forced me to get down and dirty and spank her. All I could think was "who will clean this mess?" As of right now, it is just me and them at home and if I leave this mess as is, the whole entire house will be affected. Plus, she already brought white powder down to the play room around the computer and changed the settings on the computer, AGAIN!!! I blame her father who allowed her to 'type' over the Christmas holidays and now I am stuck with a 2 year old that continues to sneak to the computer and mess that up as well.

I am off to look for a cleaning service that can come here in the next hour or so, because I know that I do not have the patience or strength to clean this house as it needs to be cleaned. That's anywhere between $150 -$250 that will be wasted. All thanks to the disaster that was my daughter this morning. I am also going to find a school or some day program for her. She must start going to school next month or as quickly as I can get her into a neighborhood program. It is clear that the child is bored and that I can no longer deal with the madness!

Monday, February 5, 2007

MY KIDS LIKE COMMERCIALS????

(I posted this at another blog of mine, Commercial Maniac, and thought to share it here.)

Well, I have come to realize that there are a few commercials that my 2 toddlers stop to watch each time they come on.

One of these is a KIA promotional ad. In it, the Kia employees are at a showroom helping customers buy their vehicle. They run all over the place like the Von Trapp family singing "So Long, Farewell." You remember that song, don't you? It is from 'The Sound of Music'. I am convinced that my children only like the commercial because of the song. That's good enough for any advertiser, I guess. Unfortunately for Kia, my children cannot buy their vehicles at this time and I am not in the market for a Kia, either.

Unlike my children, adults seem to dislike the commercial - sorry Kia! Try firing your ad department. In fact, I discovered a fellow blogger with an 'ode' to the commercial here and here. More grown people complain about the commercial here. There seems to be a consensus that people do not like this commercial (except for children, of course). Maybe that was the goal. To brainwash kids into recognizing the Kia symbol and create a positive memory, at an early age, which can then translate into higher sales in the future. Genius!!!! Just hope that by the time those 'future consumers' grow up, they won't want a flashy BMW, Mercedes Benz or whatever car is being paraded up and down in the latest rap video.

Saturday, February 3, 2007

HACK, HACK, SNIFFLE, SNIFFLE & THE LOTTERY

So, The Enforcer is down with a cough and cold. The poor thing is miserable. I haven't seen her looking this tired and helpless in a long time. I am trying my best to keep her comfortable and keep her baby brother and I from getting what she's got. A tall order, considering the fact that both kids play with each other and constantly share spoons and cups. I have my fingers crossed.

Being that my hubby is out of town, and the responsibility of taking care of my munchkins is solely on my shoulders, I have been thinking a lot about playing the lottery. I mean seriously playing. Like, placing $20 on some tickets. (Yes, $20, not a lot for some people but a lot for me). You just never know. It would be nice to have a bigger house. Our town home is spacious but we have outgrown it in a year, what with baby #3 on the way. I would also love to have my own car and not have to drive the 'kids mobile'. A "kids mobile' is any car that has more than one car seat. Once that happens, the car is no longer yours. Yeah, yeah you drive it, but if you take a close look inside, it actually belongs to your children. My kids mobile for instance is chock full of toys, cups, snacks, diapers, wipes, change of clothes, shoes, hats.... You name it, we've got it. Oh, lest I forget the double stroller that permanently resides in the trunk thus making it practically impossible to fit anything else in there.

So, what did I want again? Oh, yeah, a bigger house (with a huge back yard, so I can kick the kids out when I'm tired), my own personal car, a full time nanny (aaahhh) and some exercise equipment (treadmill and elliptical machine). Wouldn't that be nice? I'd also like a nice vacation ALONE to an island where I get lots of massages, fruit, wine and sweets. Oh, and I would catch up on all the movies I haven't seen over the last 3 years. That's all I want. I think.

Anyway, TE is hacking away and I need to go wake TK and get him ready for a day of tormenting his big sister. I can't imagine what my life will look like when baby #3 gets here and joins the ruckus. I can't wait to see. And, if by any means I win the 'big one', I hope it will be fun! Wish me luck.

Thursday, February 1, 2007

HILLARY AND THE "EVIL AND BAD MEN..."

I finally found the clip of Hillary talking about "evil and bad men". I awarded her Most Ironic Quote of the Month a few posts down, now here is the actual footage of her making the gaffe. Thanks, Hillary!

MY DAUGHTER IN A FEW YEARS????

Oh, mon Dieu!!! I recently saw this on the news and began to have horrifying images of my daughter. No, no, my daughter is an angel. Extremely sweet and caring until she has a tantrum (please see almost any other post on this blog!) Anyway, I saw this lady 'wigging out' and couldn't help but think, 'Hey, this chick sounds just like my daughter on a bad day.' Well, watch the clip.





Of course, my daughter looks nothing like this poor lady, she's only 2. But, that shrill note that the poor bride-to-be hit right at the very end could have come from The Enforcer.