IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN I ONLY HAD ONE .....

Hello everyone, please take the time to offer some sound advice to this reader. Let's call her, Joke. She is really dealing with an internal conflict and I know that your suggestions will help her come to a final decision.

Thank you.

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My parents have been married for 44 years and are about to celebrate their 45th anniversary. My mother is very excited and my siblings and I are planning a huge party in their honor. However, I have some disturbing information and I am not sure what to do with it.

My father has been secretly cheating on my mother for years. Oddly enough, I was a part of the charade but never knew it. When I was younger, he would always take me with him on drives while he visited various friends. Every Sunday after church, he would take me to visit this lady and her little girl. We would be there for hours and during that time, I would play outside with the little girl.

I only recently realized that this woman was and has been his mistress since I was a child. I won't share how I came to the realization, but I did confront my father about it and all he had to say was that I am too young to understand such things. Mind you, I am 22 years of age.

My mother constantly talks about how good a man my father is and how I should make sure I marry a man like him. If only she knew. But now, given this knowledge, I wonder if I should tell my mother that she has been competing with another woman in her marriage and that there is another child out there.

I just don't think I can plan and attend their anniversary party and watch my father continue to lie to my mother and the entire world. If he really loved her, he wouldn't have cheated on her for so long, so much so that he would have a child that is almost my age, for goodness sake.

I'm hurt and confused. Please, what do you think I should do next?
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Those were the words uttered by my 4 year old son, TK. Thank goodness he was asking me and not some unsuspecting poor lady. He has always been a butt man, but now, for some reason, he is now infatuated with boobies and constantly seeks to squeeze a few.

Now, let me make it clear, TK is an absolute darling. Whenever I start getting stressed, he will come over and give me a hug and kiss and say "You're okay". He now knows how to make his own bed and believe it or not, he always puts the toilet seat down once he's done. I truly believe he will make someone a very good husband someday, lol! (not that the factors I mentioned are the only one that make a good husband, of course). He wants to learn how to cook and he is very protective of his siblings, in fact, if anyone gets disciplined, he will tell them sorry, then come up to his dad or myself and say "You know, that is not how you talk to little babies. That is not nice."

Cute right?

But this desire of his to "tickle" boobies is quite disturbing and in my opinion, a little unbecoming of a wonderful gentleman. I keep having these visions of him asking some little girl if he can tickle her boobs and my hubby and I getting slapped with a lawsuit! lol! My goodness. Husband tells me that I stress out about the silliest things, and this might be one of them but come on, if you knew a little 4 year old boy that kept asking to "tickle" boobs, tell me you wouldn't worry at least a little bit? Of course, my husband just loves his son's peculiarities to bits. I think its because of all his children, TK not only looks just like him, but behaves like him as well.

So, this is what I am dealing with now, trying to figure out the best way to help my son realize that his infatuation with boob squeezing has a time and a place. Gosh, he clearly likes boobs, but I would like him to realize that someday he will be able to, oh I don't know, enjoy them. With the right girl of course, and that girl ain't me. Oh my, *smh*

Hey everybody. Today's topic is rather sensitive and well, my suggestions to this reader were rather limited, so please, feel free to share your thoughts. I'm hoping that you guys can help this reader figure out the next step she will take.

Thank you.

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My name is Kate and I have been married for 4 years to my husband, Niyi. Niyi was born and raised in England and we met when I came to the UK to get an education. We fell madly in love and dated for 3 straight years. There were ups and downs but we managed to get through our problems and walked down the aisle in a beautiful wedding surrounded by our family and friends in Lagos.

Our families have been asking for grandchildren, and we have continuously said it will happen when God decides. But, now, it seems that Niyi has decided that children are not a part of our future. I recently mentioned to him that his mother called me and ended the conversation with a half joke that we should not come home for Christmas unless there is a grandchild in my belly. Niyi simply looked at me and said, "well I guess we won't be going home then." I then said to him that it won't be that bad if we got pregnant. Niyi simply laughed and walked into the bedroom. I followed him and asked him why he was laughing only for him to say that he likes the life we have and he doesn't believe that a child would fit into our lifestyle. I was devastated. I have always wanted a child and Niyi never gave me the impression that he did not want children. To now learn that he thinks we should not have children, is troubling. We tried to talk about it, but he refused to budge. I have been a wreck for weeks trying to figure out a solution to this problem but there appears to be none.

I want children. I am now 32 and I know that time is ticking. I am fine with having one child and I thought that it would happen by next year at least. I just don't know how to convince Niyi to change his mind and I know that I will be crushed if years from now, I get to a point were I can no longer have children. I will regret it. What would you do if you were in my shoes?
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Over the last 4 weeks, I have contracted the flu virus twice. Just as I was getting over one strain, I seemed to get ill from another more serious one. This last time was the worst as I spent 4 straight days in bed. Today is the first day I could actually sit up and move around without feeling that my head was going to explode. God alone knows why these sorts of diseases and illnesses exist, all I know is they are no fun at all.

This last bout with the flu and all that time bedridden gave me a lot of time to think about far too many things. Because I was worried about infecting everyone, I stayed in the guest room and it just seemed so far away from everyone. Imagine hearing your kids running around and laughing, but not being able to go see what it was all about. Despite that, my family bent over backwards to accommodate me and help me feel comfortable. On Sunday night, we all had a not-so fancy dinner of fried yam, fried plantains, and baked chicken (courtesy of our very own gourmet chef, my hubby). Like I said, not fancy, but the kids were glad to have dinner away from the dining table in the kitchen and play while they ate. We ate in the play room. I lay on the floor, covered in blankets and was fed by TE and Bomboy, who constantly asked, "How are you feeling mommy?". TK was busy trying to ram his toy over everyone's toes, but he would somehow manage to take some time to come give me hugs and kisses and tell me he was going to give me an injection to help me feel better, lol!

So, yes, one of the things I am eternally grateful for is the love of family. A true love that no matter what endures and is pure at all times. I thank God for his kindness and blessings upon my family because, in reality, we have done nothing to receive His mercies. And it is the fortune granted upon us that allows us to share a simple dinner of fried yams (which I was lucky to have any of because Bomboy tore it up), plantains and chicken. It was the best dinner I ever had, even though my dry and painful throat meant I had no more than 5  pieces of yam and 3 pieces of plantain the whole night.

And the next morning, I was wakened by hugs and kisses and more sincere "How are you feeling, mommy?" questions. Although my head was still hurting, I was congested, couldn't turn my neck without pain and still shivered, I smiled and told them that I felt great. And that was and is exactly how I felt. My body will catch up eventually. =)

I hope you are all well and if you live in an influenza-prone area, please get your flu shot. Don't just get your children their shots, like I did, because they still bring back all sorts of germs (I am living proof). And, if you have access to the H1N1/Swine flu shot, try and get it. I am still battling the flu and all I can say is Swine Flu is no fun at all.

Have a great week everyone and see you all on Friday for the next TTTEC installment.