IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN I ONLY HAD ONE .....

There is nothing like watching your babies throw up numerous times in the day, and cleaning up diarrhea-filed diapers. Oh, there's nothing like taking two children to the emergency room then nursing their father who has a fever, as well. And, of course, there is absolutely nothing like getting everyone back to their normal selves and then you falling ill yourself.

That has been my life over the last few weeks and hence my absence from this site. However, I thank God for the experience because it has only endeared my children and husband to me even more, if that was even ever possible. =) My children are some of the most rambunctious children I have ever spent time with. So when they get unwell, it is disheartening to see my usually naughty children weak and sad.

But, now, they are back to normal and driving me nuts, as usual!!!! It is as if they are trying to make up for their downtime by turning up the heat around here. But, the one incident that stands out the most is the cheekiness of my daughter, The Enforcer. She has been telling her father and aunts that I, her mother, need to eat more vegetables so I can grow to be tall and strong some day. That way, I will stop bothering her father to use his height to bring down containers and the blender, amongst many things, that are stashed away in our pretty high kitchen cabinets.

See me see trouble oh? Me, short? I don't blame TE. It is her father that I blame for this cheekiness! From when the girl was a baby, her father would hold her on his shoulders and would tell me that I am the shortest in the family. They would both laugh and I would simply give them a mock stare. But, now, this is ridiculous. I have never felt short and in fact I don't, but their continued attack on me for being 'short' is quite silly, no? I mean, TE is only 4 years old, TK is almost 3 and Bomboy will be 15 months in September. I do not need to impress on you how little all these people are. But their father insists that his children will be tall just like him and not short like "their mother's people." Na wa oh! My father was over 6 feet, but my husband wants to act like I come from a family of midgets. Silly man!!!!!

Anyway, I hope everyone is well and I thank you all for checking on us. This Friday, I will put up a question that came in this morning from a reader who would like to know what you guys think about a situation. So, please come back on Friday for a new installment in the Talk To The Easier Crew Series. The following Monday, I will be back to regular blogging about the naughtiness I have experienced at the hands of not-so-innocent Bomboy. Again, thanks to you guys and have a blessed week!

Here are the installments from the first Talk To The Easier Crew Week -

1. Talk To The Easier Crew Week: Sexual Feelings... 
2. Talk To The Easier Crew Week: Religion
3. Talk To The Easier Crew Week: Marital Problems
   
4. Talk To The Easier Crew Week: Homosexuality  
5. Talk To The Easier Crew Week: Pressure

1. Talk To The Easier Crew: Dilemma 
2. Talk To The Easier Crew: Suitors 
3. Talk To The Easier Crew: Forgiveness 
4. Talk To The Easier Crew: Bathrooms
   

Why did I wake up this morning to tales of a household coup? Yes, I heard my children, complaining and threatening while playing in Bomboy's room.

"Mommy will never ever tell me to go use the potty again!!!"
"Yeah!!!!!"
"Mommy will never spank me again!"
"Yeah!!!!!"
"Mommy is very naughty!"
"Yeah!!!!!"

The only person who was smart eough to not put their mouth in the plotting was Officer Bomboy and quite frankly I am relieved because if you see what the boy has been doing to chicken bones as of recent, you for fear the pickin as well!!!!

But, back to the coup plotters, I calmly walked into the room and looked at all of them. TE was shocked to see me, TK was shocked to see me as well but that was because he was doing something naughty as usual, and no, I can't share what the boy was doing, lol! Anyway, the only person that smiled at me was Bomboy. He said "Mama!!!" and put his arms out to me so I could lift him out of his crib (aha, that's why he was so nice - he needed me to bring him out of his crib!!!). Well, TE immediately began to lecture me about not spanking them anymore and that what she says is correct and that I should stop being naughty. Of course, her sidekick and the protector of all my children, TK, was there and started spanking me.

Na wa oh!!!! See how I dey suffer? They would never try me like that if their father was home. I must step up my mommy-game and stop being so nice to these children, I swear!!!! =)

And yes, on to the Bone Crusher story. Isn't there some sort of rapper called Bone Crusher? Well, trust me he ain't got nothing on my own personal Bone Crusher!!!! Imagine, I used to beg his father to share chicken bones with him, but now, Bomboy has advanced to the point that he demands "Shiken" and can transform a chicken bone from this -

My people, my boys are at it and they have seemingly tag-teamed against me in a way I never thought possible. God give me strength to deal with the stunts these boys are executing!

TK'S STUNTS
So, last week was TTTEC Week and while that was going on, my boys were up to pure mischief. As you all know, potty training TK has been such an adventure that I had to dedicate 2 posts to the enterprise - Potty Training The King and Potty Training The King 2. Well, as if all that wasn't enough the guy pulled some major stunts last week.

TK Stunt #1: When told to go use the potty, TK (who was having lunch with his siblings), pulled his 'wiener' out of his underpants and peed into his cup. He then poured the contents of his cup into his food and laughed while doing it!

TK Stunt #2: While the entire family was relaxing downstairs in the playroom, TK (who always disappears to do his 'dirt') went to my kitchen and landed one stinky igbe on my kitchen floor!!!! He then came downstairs, ran out to the backyard and played as if absolutely nothing was waiting for me upstairs.

TK Stunt #3: After a rewarding morning when I woke up early to accomplish many chores, I later discovered that TK woke up early as well. But, he woke up to undo my accomplishments, i.e. cleaning the bathroom, folding up and organizing the kids old clothes (which I plan to donate). TK, instead, found the clothes, rolled around in them and then went to the bathroom and threw their bathroom toys (e.g. floating rubber duckies, sharks and pigs) into the toilet bowl! And did I mention that he peed in the toilet bowl first, before throwing the toys in? Well, I can at least thank God for small mercies.

OFFICER BOMBOY'S STUNTS
Bomboy looks up to his older brother. Sometimes you see him studying TK almost as if he is taking mental notes on all the things he will do when he gets a tad bit bigger. Some of you are reading that and thinking "Aww, how cute." All I am thinking is "Cute ko, cute ni!" because i am suffering the consequence of brotherly adoration!!!!

Bomboy has decided that he also wants to potty train. He is only 15 months old! Nevertheless, he tries to put on his brother's underpants and follows TK to the toilet to watch him pee. Oh, and he now takes off his diaper whenever he deems fit!!!!

Well, last week, Bomboy decided to undo his brother's stunts as well. Here are a few of his stunts.

Bomboy Stunt #1: While I was doing his sister's hair, Bomboy decided to take off his diaper, go to the foyer's wooden floor, hold his penis and pee. He peed standing up, so at least I can be proud of that, but he completed his coup by dropping some seriously nasty poop on the floor for good measure!!! And, yes, I had to clean it up!

Bomboy Stunt #2: As I was chatting on the phone with my mom, Bomboy (who had asked me to pick him up) got upset, went to the bathroom and threw my combs and a hair brush into the toilet bowl. Thank God I am a suspicious mom, because I followed him and caught him trying to flush!!!!

Bomboy Stunt #3: After putting all the children to bed for their naps, I went to have a nap of my own on the sofa. In my deep and deserving slumber, I didn't realize that there was a serious ruckus in Bomboy's crib. I awoke to find TE out of her bed. The poor child was so afraid of the consequences and immediately told me that she was cleaning up Bomboy's mess. I followed her to their room and saw the sight of my life! Bomboy had pooped, removed his diaper, rolled in his poop, smeared it on his face, in his hair, and all over his crib. His poor sister was using her big girl wipes to clean him up!

I am exhausted just remembering all those stunts from last week!

So, whose outdid who with his stunts? Make una tell me, biko. And big shout out to TE for being a good girl all week!!!! And, I thank God that she has been disciplining her brothers for me. They actually listen, lol! Oh, wetin happen wey una never vote for my blog at the Blogger's Choice Awards website? This blog is nominated a few times as is my other blog Nigerian Curiosity. Abegi, amke una carry leg go vote. Thank you Uncle Tobenna and Aunty OfftheMap for your votes oh! I don't even know if a Nigerian blog has ever won one of those things? Anyone else nominated? Look at the right side bar and you will see the banners there. Make una go vote oh! And, BTW, why is there no equivalent for Nigerian/African blogs? It would be something exciting for us Nigerian bloggers now that Blogville Idols is over. Did y'all here Bomboy's submission to the closing performance? lol!

God bless!