IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN I ONLY HAD ONE .....

I am convinced that marriage is not for everyone. There are gals and guys that have little business entering that sort of partnership. Not because they are bad people, but because that specific relationship is just not conducive to their temperament and or attitude.

For instance, I have a cousin. Let's call him - Inyang. The guy is my blood relative, as in his mother and my mother are sisters. Despite that, he is a classic example of a lowlife. Harsh, I know, but no worries. He has known that I never liked him since I was 5 or 6. God bless him, but none of this will be news to him. Anyway, Inyang is the sort of person that will live in your house, eat all your rice and garri[1], use up your telephone and not contribute a dime. Or, more appropriately, a kobo[2]. He did that frequently to my mother who would constantly complain. Being that it is hard for me to lie, I once told my mother to no longer complain about him to me, simply because (1) I already did not like him, so no need to compound the negative feelings, (2) my mother has always enabled his laziness and bad behavior by always allowing him to rely on her even though he has taken her things in the past. I felt that if she was willing to put up with his wahala[3], she shouldn't have me to complain to.

Well, it turns out that the family (my extended family) is now concerned by the fact that Inyang is not yet married. My mother (AKA "Shine, Shine"[4]) expressed the following -

Shine, Shine: "Ah, we are worried about your cousin, Inyang."
Me: "Why?"
Shine, Shine: "He is in his 40s now and he is not married. He has no children. He needs to settle down."
Me: "Why?"
Shine, Shine: "Ah, ah, what do you mean "why"?"
Me: "Well, if he is in his 40s and has not intimated that he wants to get married, then why do you want to 'koba'[5] some woman who would get stuck marrying him?"
Shine, Shine:  stunned silence

Don't worry, my mother is used to my bluntness. But, I had to go on to explain further. My mother is a wonderful person, and it was clear that she and her sisters (the one's most likely scheming on this marriage issue) just want the best for Inyang. However, I would never want to marry a person like him. He has little understanding of responsibility and once tried to dupe a cousin of ours. So, why would we, as a family, want to bring some innocent woman into that kind of situation? I went on to add that we should not ignore the possibility that Inyang is very happy to be single, and so, pressuring him to marry could only make him despise marriage and a future wife.

All I know is that if someone is comfortable being single, be it male or female, please 'free' them. Allow them to live their life. If someday he suggests he is looking for a wife, then Shine, Shine and her sisters can go nuts trying to set him up. I swear, these women are just looking for something to do i.e. plan a big wedding, lol! We have female cousins looking for men of virtue to marry, those are the one's my family should focus on.

Honestly, not everyone should get married. If Inyang doesn't want to marry, that's fine. If he doesn't want children. That's fine as well. Particularly considering that his mother had 11 children of her own, many of whom have gone on to have loads of kids. Yes, pikin boku for that side of the family. Inyang's mother has enough children, gran children and even great grand children (I believe, but could be wrong, can't keep up) to keep her hands super busy. If one or 2 or even 3 or 4 kids don't want to marry and produce offspring, thats okay. It doesn't make them deficient (well, in general, you guys already know my feelings on Inyang). As someone who thanks God for sending me a good mate, I am not against marriage. I just think certain people, especially those who likely know they don't want to marry, should enter that sort of union.

What do you guys think? I've made an argument for why Inyang shouldn't get married, but do you think there are valid reasons to not get married?



[1] Garri - a cassava derivative, that is eaten in Nigeria and other parts of West Africa
[2] Kobo - the smallest denomination of the Naira, Nigeria's currency. 10 kobo = 1 Naira
[3] Wahala - stress, trouble, problems, B.S.... you know the drill
[4] "Shine, Shine" - my mommy's nickname. Refers to bright, shiny things. Jewelry.
[5] Koba - to jinx someone.

For those who don't know, "Tapping Current" is/was a slang term used to refer to a guy who would hug a girl for far too long. The assumption being that those extra seconds spent hugging a girl were used by the guy to enjoy the warm contact with a girl's bossom. Or something like that.

Anyway, it seems Bomboy has figured out the art of "tapping current". He thoroughly enjoys hugging ladies and not a side hug like some squirmish kids do. He likes the full body/chest contact hug, and I believe it is so that he can enjoy ... well, you guys understand.

The other day at the swimming pool, he spent a considerable amount of time booed up with his best friend's mother! No, she's not a cougar, lol! She kept saying, "Eh, Bomboy, you are showing me a lot of love today, oh." I tried to bite my tongue but as a Senior Babe, I couldn't leave my fellow sister in the dark, even if it involved my woman-wrapper son. So, I told her, "Don't mind him oh! He's just tapping current." She laughed and once his cover was blown the guy opted to play in the pool with his siblings and his friend Baby A. lol!

I can definitely say that I am not surprised by this boy's propensity for booby-loving. He proved he was a "breast man" when he was just a tiny baby. For those of you newer Easier family members check out this post - "Bomboy is a Breast Man". He was only about 4 months at the time, you know?

What would happen if Bomboy had to meet some of the blogsville aunties?

Like Sugabelly for instance.

WOAH!

A Good Mother's prayer -
 "Dear Lord God, please don't let it be that my minor son gets slapped with a sexual harassment suit that I will then have to pony up the money for. He is only 2, ain't got no job and lives at home with his mama. He's a good child Lord, he just can't concentrate around breastesses. We are trying to raise him right Lord, but we definitely need some of your extra help. In Jesus' name, we pray."

Let the congregation say -

"AMEN!!!"


By the way, was it Shona Vixen's or Temite's derrier we saw in a blog post recently? For the life of me, I can't remember whose blog it was.... Anyway, to whoever that lovely lady was, don't come near TK. If Bomboy is a breast man, then best believe that TK is a man who appreciates the ikebe (bum in pigdin/Yoruba).

These boys will not kill me.

Why do my children wait until you change their diaper to poop?

This does not apply to TE because she is a big girl now and uses the toilet. It technically applies to TK because although he only wears diapers at nap time, that is exactly when he poops everyday! My sons have proven time and time again, that a clean diaper is only good to poop in! I just wish children would poop in their dirty diapers, so that once mothers changed their diaper, there would be little threat of having to change a soiled diaper in another 10 minutes.

And did I tell you that they have synchronized their poop, now? Oh yes, TK poops and then Bomboy poops. I don't know whether they plan it out or if it is just a coincidence, but it happens! I can't wait to have the boys fully potty trained. Poop needs to be in a toilet. Besides, if you see the "grown" poop that TK produces, even you would agree that his mature poop belongs in a toilet bowl and not a diaper.

But, for now, I am off to change more diapers. Yuck!

Lol!

My people, I recently went to a get-together hosted by some a single friend of mine. While there, we all got to gisting and as usual I was the last to know about all the latest gist from Lagos and Abuja. Before I knew it, a friend started talking about my blogging and whipped out a laptop and the group started reading many of the TTTEC stories. I never knew how much discussion and drama these issues could raise until that day. It was serious.

Later that evening, while I was on the porch enjoying the evening breeze, with a glass of Riesling in hand, one of the ladies came out to talk to me. She said she wanted my opinion and I told her that if I could give it, I would. This is the question she asked me -

"What should a woman do if she finds her husband in bed with multiple women?"

I guess the alcohol I was having made me a little slow because I assumed she meant that the mystery woman's husband had been in numerous affairs with various women. When I asked for clarification, she said,

"No. I mean the man was in bed with many women at the very same time!"

I went quiet for a while, and then, I said,

"Well, it is not for me to judge, but I daresay my response would depend on knowing additional information."

She looked at me funny, and I think because she realized I would rather think through the issue than rush to a conclusion,all of a sudden she relaxed. Well, the amount of alcohol that had been flowing since the afternoon might have contributed to the candor =), because she soon started to tell me an incredible story. This woman, who from what I could see was a wonderful lady, is married to a very wealthy man who has been rumored to have many girlfriends around town. She said her husband is well known at some of the local university campuses and she has had young girls outrightly tell her that they are sleeping with her husband.

One weekend, she came home early from a visit to her village only to walk into her house and discover her hubby in bed with 5 women. She didn't know what to do, so she walked out and went to her sister's house. Two days later, she was on a plane to Washington, D.C. She is staying in a house owned by her husband not far from where I live. She has not spoken to her husband in 3 weeks and he is threatening to come and take her back to Nigeria. She feels trapped and is definitely confused. She wants to know what her options are and how to achieve them.

I asked her if she didn't mind me putting this up as a TTTEC installment and she said she was intrigued to learn what you guys think as she had taken time to read some other TTTEC installments and comments while at the party. I know that many of you will be wondering what my suggestion was. I will wait to see whether anyone's comment comes close to mine and if so, I will admit it for the sake of fairness. If no one comes close to my suggestion, well, I will remain silent.

Anyway, please feel free to share your opinions and please, be brutally honest. This lady, lets call her Amina, can definitely handle honesty. But, I beg everyone to be as respectful as possible in expressing your thoughts.

Thanks so much guys and fire away...